Saturday, July 30, 2005

Recently, I started on a (new) PS2 game called Larry Suite. Or something to that effect. I didn't expect myself to get hooked onto this game.

A college (university in USA). Larry, the main star, has been studying in college for a while and being the loser that he is, has difficulty trying to pick up girls.

There are many different objectives and guidelines are given as to how to achieve them. My role is to help Larry achieve his objectives of sleeping with as many girls as possible. Meanwhile, I need to play certain games on increasing his confidence and earning more money so he will have the money to buy new clothes and "accessories" needed.

High of the game:
You get quite a kick when you managed to get the targeted girl into Larry's room, knowing he is going to get laid.

Low of the game:
The girl(s) turned out to be Jewish-who-wouldnt-sleep-with-non-Jewish-males/alien/dun-wanna-get-screwed-virgin/un-female/weird psycho

N.B Not all the girls who follow Larry to his room will get screwed. Sometimes they just want to watch porn or masturbate. Sad.

Most commendable achievement:
Larry managed to screw 1 girl so far. She was a band chick and despite a smokin' body, she was odd. And not in a good way. Sometimes she talked like she was being possessed. But what the hell, Larry scored!

Most painful memory:
A girl, named Koko, who pretended to be a French (when she was actually from North Dakota) followed Larry to his room and offered to give him a blow job. Man, did he enjoyed it! I felt happy for him too =) [at least at that point of time, I did]
After she was done, Larry, being the unselfish lover, wanted to give her a taste of oral sex too. When she took off her pants, scenes of Sweet Lou (a fat, ugly woman) selling weenus (hotdogs) appeared on the screen...... ..... fug
The next scene showed Larry lying on the floor, sobbing profusely.
Poor Larry, my heart goes out to him. But well, at least, he had a blow job. Some people I know can't even get transvestites to blow them.

Most kinky experience:
A really loose girl, Luba, wanted sex in public. So they were about to screw in the school's park when the park attendant, commisar (uniformed attendant), vending machine all appeared at the same time. Despite wanting to continue, Larry felt weird having sex with audience around. So they went back to his room.
He was naked and on top of the girl who was also naked (Yes, you can see the tits) when suddenly, the park attendant barged into the room. Followed by the commisar and the vending machine. To digress a little, I don't understand why a vending machine can walk about on its own and talk. But this is a game, so I guess nothing is impossible. Anyway, all the annoying audience, knowing that Luba will have sex with anybody (and i mean anybody; apparently, the whole school's screwed her except Larry), all started to take off their pants. Looks like they want a piece of the pie (or pussy). Luba was naturally excited being the loose person she is, but Larry was totally freaked out and ..........*sigh* ........ he climbed out of the window.
He was sooooo close. And he totally wasted my efforts. Useless bastard.

This really is a guy's game actually. I think the many scenes of stark or almost naked chicks will bring about some form of reaction from most guys. For my friends like LX, Poi, Clive, Wen, Roy, Simon, Mata, who are pretty pent-up, I would recommend this game to them. At least instead of porn, you're DIYing in front of a video game and you won't have to hide the disc covers from your mom.

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

I was reading an article in "Cleo" from a few months back. This write up claimed that there are many girls out there who are losing time, attention and affection from their boyfriends to games. Yeap, mainly PC and PS2 games. One of the suggestions they give is to learn to play such games as well so that the two of you can enjoy your time spent together. For example, if you both play Counter Strike, chances are, even after the game, you two can discuss the strategies, techniques and how you can frag your enemies' asses.

Even though I often find that articles from fashion magazines tend to mislead women, I have to agree with this one. You see, I'm a CS addict myself. So many times my bf and I have sat down to discuss about the strengths and weaknesses of our teams (he's Terrorist, and im Counter-Terrorist). We made analysis together on how we can "run" faster, aim more accurately, the different places to hide in different maps, etc. Our discussions always end up in laughter and a lot of fun. So for the ladies who are actually feeling exasperated, lost, neglected due to games, don't be. Learn to play at least 1 of his games, and things might get better. You don't necessary have to play Dynasty Warriors 1/2/3/4/5; PS2 games like Crazy Driver, Metal Slug or sports-related games are fun and doesn't require that much of thinking.

Monday, July 25, 2005

A Night Out with my F.R.I.E.N.D.S

Met up with LX, Poi, Clive and Yang & Winnie on Sat. As usual, we met at Orchard MRT. As usual, I was late. As usual, they made the late-comer pay for dinner. As usual, Poi wants to eat at either BK or Mac. Except that this time, I didn't argue and refused to pay. I paid, altho' i gave a lame excuse on the reason why I was late. (poi: in case u're reading this, it's true that I couldn't find my bra, but I did find it eventually so I didn't go braless that nite).

To digress a little, this gp of f.r.i.e.n.d.s always seem to have a lot of difficulty deciding where to eat. The reasons include:

1) Poi's irritating and constant appeal that we eat at MacDonald's. I believe this is very much due to his deprived childhood of not getting to eat at Mac's until he was perhaps 16 years old. And also because he's a little mentally unsound. And depressed.

2) Yang's inconsistent comments on the places we have suggested. He would say, "anything lor" ... then "eh, expensive leh" ... then followed by "eh, okay lah okay lah". Then he would repeat the whole thing a few more times. Occassionally, he would add in "wah lau wah lau" juz so he would irritate the hell outta ya.

3) All of us, except Poi, are usually clueles as to where to eat.

Back to the subject, there were a few events / conversations that I think are worth mentioning here:

i) Loser Poi experienced a big-toe-cramp while waiting for me. Mind you, he was juz standing there, chatting with the guys. Goes to show wat a loser he is. The most suay things will happen to him.

ii) While queueing at BK, Poi and I were talking and he was talking extremely loudly. His laughter, was even louder. Being the nice person that I am, I couldn't bear to tell him that he was embarrassing the babe (me) that he was standing next to cos the guy behind us kept staring at us while Poi laughed.

iii) In the car on our way to Cosy Bay, we saw a group of Ma*ays dressed in leather jackets and god forbid, trying to act all cool and stylish. After a series of "wah lau ehs!", LX proceeded to mimic a possible conversation that was going on between them.

Guy 1 : oink oink
Guy 2 : oink oink oink oiink oinkk
Guy 1 : oink oink! oink oink, oink oink oink.
Guy 3 : oink oink oink

haha ... it really was very farnie.

iv) We went for dessert after dinner (again). We somehow never failed to get desserts. This group of f.r.i.e.n.d.s always give me a big appetite and makes me pig out whenever we're out together. Although the dessert was nice, it was quite expensive. And as usual, we heard the excessive Kao Bei Kao Bu from LX.

v) Yang made a comment about birds not flying about at night. He said birds are usually asleep at night so you will not kena bird shit while walking under trees at night. It's an incredibly dumb thing to say but he claimed that he was quoting another friend, Peter, who happens to be down under right now and can't defend himself.

vi) On the way home, I asked LX if he had watched porn and had sex at the same time. He got wildly agitated, exclaiming that porn and sex is such a common combination that it was stupid that I even asked. Yeah, I should have known. It's LX.

vii) On the same topic as pt iv, I also asked LX if he had tried recording his make-out sessions on video. Again, he got extremely agitated (and excited) and exclaimed loudly, "I DON'T HAVE A VIDEO CAMERA!!" I promised that we would try to get him on for his next birthday, which is due in 4 months.

Sigh. I love my f.r.i.e.n.d.s

Friday, July 22, 2005

An unpleasant incident happened in my office two days ago.

My intention for this post was to describe the happenings and how unjustified I felt. But I decided not to. I would just pen down the things that I have learnt.

1. No matter how nice a person you are, people will talk behind your back.

This need not necessarily stem from their resentment for you for not sharing information (gossips) on the manager's pay or for not wanting to share your milo. They just like to gossip. And they don't need any facts to stir up their mood for gossip. If they don't talk behind your back, their tongues will rot.

Implication : People who gossip out of distorted truths will eventually get their eyes gorged out and burn in hell.

2. Generally, people who like to gossip, do not enjoy being the subject of discussion themselves.

That is, they can talk behind your back, but you can't talk behind their backs. If you do, they will cry, throw files/phone, or ask their father/mother/husband/dog to come to your workplace and try to frighten you by acting all ah beng/ah lian/gangster/rabies-liked.

Implication : People who gossip out of distorted truths will eventually get their eyes gorged out and burn in hell.

3. Your discussions or messages on MSN chat will be recorded in your hard disk. And they will be a source for gossip.

Ok, so you may already know that but i didn't! So you can imagine my shock when certain private conversations were retrieved from other people's PC (bear in mind your PC's hard disk can be shared when you're all connected by a router) and printed out. As if this is isn't bad enough, the print out was used as a source of false accusation. *pui*

Implication : People who gossip out of distorted truths will eventually get their eyes gorged out and burn in hell.

4. If you have noticeable assets, such as big boobs or large balls or fat ass, you will be a source for gossip.

Need I say more?

Implication : People who gossip out of distorted truths or other people's body parts will eventually get their eyes gorged out and burn in hell.

5. No matter how broad-minded, understanding and cool you are, confrontations with unfair accusations will still make you mad.

I learnt that you must never get mad. Always get even.

Implication : People who accused innocent parties with distorted truths will eventually get their eyes gorged out and burn in hell.


Aahh ... I feel better now =)

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

MSN conversation between 2 persons:

Me: Nowadays very few loser blogs from you liao hor

L : Because I ain't no loser wat. I'm not blogging as Eddy Neo anymore. Blogging as myself

Me: But you are eddy neo! Both of you are the same! Both Losers! hahahahha

L : I'm depressed leh, still say such things to me!! :D Barney come hug you then you know :)

Me: I'm depressed too. Why are you depressed?

L : Because I don't have a car :) Muahahah. Why are you depressed? Seriously.

Me : I'm depressed because .... blah blah blah

L : Hey, if you need us, we'll be there k?

Me: Yah, I guess so.

L : I'm depressed too. Can't wait for school to start.

Me: Why are you depressed?

L : My dick is not big enough :)

L : Eh, that was meant to make you laugh lah.

Do I have great friends or wat? Using his own genitals to cheer me up. Although it was kinda lame. But if he had said he has a huge dick, I would have rolled on the floor with laughter.

Juz so you know, L is not his name. L denotes "Loser", which is often the word I use to scorn him with =) *echoes losssseeeer....*

Just visited a friend's blogspot. He has, apparently, made me out to be a very lousy friend. Which I am obviously not. If anything, I think I make a fantastic friend =) okay, I may be stroking my own ego here, but who cares....

Anyway, it was this friend who told me to start blogging. He said it would be very fun as I would be able to leave sarcastic remarks on his blog. Let me brief you on his blog. He used to blog as another character who is a total loser, with not much affinity with the opposite sex (or those of the same gender) and is a virgin. I found his blog extremely entertaining as I strive on knowing how screwed up other people's lives can be (which means I dont seem so much like a loser). I think he expects me to blog in similar fashion, ie. the loser thingy, so he would get his revenge on me, by means of the pen or keyboard, for calling him a "loser" to his face on umpteen occassions.

I will not, blog as such a pathetic character. Regardless of whether I am one or not.

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

I spent a lot of time thinking about my dream yesterday. It finally made sense to me.

It muz have been the subconscious missing of my dad that could have sparked off such a dream. Whenever I tried to recall how W told me he had to cross over to the other world, I could feel a squeeze in my heart. It was juz like how I couldn't face up to the fact that my father had passed.

I have always pride myself on being a strong person. But this is really one thing that can get me down. And depressed.

Life can be so hard sometimes.

I had a terrible dream. I dreamt that a good friend of mine, W, died in a car accident. It broke my heart. I could only vaguely remember the proceedings of the wake.

The odd thing was he was actually at the wake. That is, his spirit was there. Sitting at the same table with us friends, like nothing happened. He was still wearing his orange coloured T-shirt, which I often see him wear. For some unknown reason, I started asking our friends if they could see W at the table. Some said yes, but some answered no. I guess not all of us could sense his spirit there. But I was glad I could. At one point, I actually placed my head on his shoulder, something that i couldn't have done in real life.

After some time, W turned to me and said he had to "go". I couldn't control my emotions and started sobbing and grabbing his arm (which was warm, strangely), and asking him not to go. I couldn't deal with a good friend leaving me. Not him. And I had so much more things to tell him. Then he said, "... some things are better left unsaid..."

It cut me when I had to let him go. It cut me, the way it did when my dad left. I cried like there was no tomorrow.

I woke up in the middle of my cries, to realise it was juz a dream. But for some strange reasons, I felt extremely upset and I missed W very much. I sent him an sms to ask him how he was and he was fine, much to my relief. I wanted so much to see him, and make sure he's really fine.

Friday, July 15, 2005

I deleted the previous two posts from this blog. If someone was to find out who I actually am, I could get into quite a fair bit of trouble.

Two days ago, the father of a good friend of mine passed away. I was thrown into depression for a short while cos it reminded me of my own father's passing. Which was only 2 months ago. Although it feels like I was still in the hospital yesterday, keeping him company, as he laid on the bed, unconscious.

For the past few days, I was frequently reminded of my dad. For example, changing the lock. My mom was worried that his mistress might still have the keys to our flat so we decided to change the lock. My mom talked about changing the lock for a very long time. But before his death, her intention came from not letting him back into the house. After all, he walked out on us.

But my dad doted on me when I was young. Rather, he favoured me to my brother. So many things that I want to say, but it's not a good idea to be shedding tears while typing personal blogs on your office computer, during working hours. So i will continue another time.

And unless you've lost a dad or mom by means of death, you will never know how it feels.

It cuts me, just thinking about it.

Saturday, July 09, 2005

In Life, we have only 2 things to worry about:
Whether you're sick or whether you're well
If you're well, then there is nothing to worry about
If you're sick, you have 2 things to worry about:
Whether you're going to get well or you're going to die
If you're going to get well, you have nothing to worry about
If you are going to die, you have 2 things to worry about:
Whether you're going to heaven or you're going to hell
If you're going to heaven, you've got nothing to worry about
If you're going to hell, you'll be so busy shaking hands with friends
that you have no time to worry
So, why worry?

Thursday, July 07, 2005

I was frantically looking around for her. The whole place was crowded with people; all just minding their own business. A white frock emerged from amongst the crowd, heading towards my direction speedily. I turned and starting running. Not towards, but away from her. As much as I tried, I couldn't go any faster, and she was catching up. I turned back as I ran and saw the twelve inches blade she was holding (shiny). Every five seconds, she was two steps closer. Could feel the andrenaline pumping into my blood. Could almost hear the beating of my heart.

I stumbled upon a white car with my friends inside, all waiting for me. I hopped in (actually, i almost literally flew in (think Jackie Chan's movies)) and we drove off. I turned and looked but she was nowhere in sight. To be frank, I have no idea why she was after me. Since she was in white (and im absolutely clueless on her intention for wanting to stab me) I can only conclude that she had just escaped from an asylum. Yes, that would be it. I doubt I am bitchy enough to incur such wrath or resentment from anyone. I sat in the car, quiet with my own thoughts .... when suddenly ...

I woke up.


I tried to recall what had happened and then it dawned on me the woman in white is Fann Wong! haha ... Please don't misunderstand me - I'm no fan of hers. I don't understand why I dreamt of her. Maybe it's the recurring advertisements on tv on the cancer charity show with her appealing to the public for money. I mean donation.

As I laid on my bed recollecting the minor details of my dream, i turned and looked at my alarm clock.