Tuesday, April 29, 2008

More time? Please?

Hi. I am back.

I am down for 2 reasons:

Firstly, my holiday is over. So shitty work life begins again. Hell, everybody has to go through this so even though it sucks big time, i still get on with it.

I would love to blog about my trip, show you all the beautiful pictures of the great ocean road, the melbourne city at night, the amazing great barrier reef .... but im just not in the mood now.

A good friend of mine just confirmed that he has cancer. Brain cancer.

1 month ago, he had undergone an operation to remove a tumour in his head. It was bringing him frequent headaches, and the inability to recognize words. It was only until one day, when the headache caused him to paralyze, that he was taken to the hospital for a brain scan.

They remove the damn thing, about 9cm long and 4cm wide from his head. There were even cysts growing on the tumour.

When I visited him at the hospital, I was teasing him that he might not be able to play mahjong anymore. He and his GF knew that I was going to Australia for a holiday and they both wanted to join. I was more than glad to have their company. They're both great people. Really.

I also observed that he had a ring on his fourth finger, and he admitted and they had gotten registered just a month ago, after Chinese New Year.

"Wah lau! So secretive ah?"

And I was truly happy for them.

These 2 have been one of the most unaffectionate couples I have ever met. But on that day, when I bade them both goodbye at the hospital, I saw them held hands in front of us, for the first time.

I was touched. Really.

A week later, friend told me he wouldn't be able to join in the trip as he had to undergo chemotherapy. The tumour was cancerous.

"But the tumour's removed. So he should be fine, right?" Or so, I thought.

Was on MSN with him, and he told me that he's undergoing chemo and radiation treatment now. I didn't realise the seriousness (probably because I refuse to believe he could be this ill at this age) until he told me, the statistics of similar patients living into the 2nd year after being diagnosed ... is 25%. No one, in Singapore, has lived more than 4 years.

I shed a tear.

I got to know said friend when I first went over to Brisbane to study. He became my housemate. After the other 2 housemates moved out, I stuck with him in the same house and we both sublet the other rooms, making us the main tenants of the nice, old Queenslander.

We had a lot of fun playing mahjong, pool, and I described him to my other friends, as the housemate who eats a mountain of rice. Which he did. But he never gained weight. At that time, friend was already on medication. I didn't know what he was suffering from, juz that, if he didn't take his full medication every day, he would get into fits.

It was also in Aussie land that he met his current wife.

A couple years passed, and even after graduation, we still kept in touch. Mostly for mahjong. He was one of my faithful mahjong khaki. And always will be.

He is coming 29 this year.

I really wish there is something I can do for him.

Thursday, April 10, 2008


Our sex-god finally decided to come back from London for a visit. The meet up was arranged last minute but everyone turned up. Including Sian. Gosh, I thought he had drowned or something.

The thing about this group of friends is the amount of laughter I have whenever I'm out with them. It's like we never graduated from poly. Even though it's been ten years.

As I go through life, I have found many friends (I use "found" because I think you have to go out to find that person and make the effort to keep him/her as your friend). Age changes the way we behave and the topics we talk about whenever we're out together. Many friends change after they get married. Houses, cars, loans, investments and children are the most common topics. These friends no longer value friends the same way. It's not a bad thing; family is, ultimately, one of the most important thing in life. I would say, that almost all my friends are leaning towards such a culture. On certain days, I do feel sad that my friends are no longer they way they were. Some do not even behave the same way because they had to be better behaved when their spouses are around. Many no longer ask me out for late night coffee chats. And when they do, their spouses HAVE to be there.

I guess it's part of the journey of life to go through this. The most fun and playful times of my life may possibly be over. My friends have moved on, and perhaps it's time that I do.

However, meeting up with my poly friends have always been this entertaining and inspiring. They make me feel young and carefree again. Seeing the changes in my other groups of friends, I sometimes get afraid that this particular group of friends will steer towards the same direction as the others. It may happen one of these days ... I'm just hoping it won't be soon.

Meanwhile, I'll just enjoy my times with them ...

Or I'll just go out and find younger friends. Heh.

p.s. Even though I tried to threaten Sian to start blogging again, he indicated that he has been very busy (wanking) and somehow, the inspiration to blog is exiting. I get a feeling he may close down his blog altogether. But don't be sad, because he does have another blog which he may reveal in future. So stay tuned.