Friday, June 30, 2006

Important Announcement

This message is dedicated to Dark Jedi and Sunflower (and all others) who actually suggested that Me and that-ultimate-loser-who-is-fugly-and-stingy-and-is-painfully-annoying-plus-i-hate-him-that-dodo-ass-sibehsian actually made a fantastic couple or that there is romance between us.

If you guys haven't realised, I get my kicks from insulting him and constantly reminding him what a loser he is. Please don't make such suggestions ever again. I had the opportunity to witness my half digested lunch after I read the comments.

Also, if I had to date anyone anyone from the blogosphere, I would gladly pick anyone else (except Barney, cos i hate purple and dinos), even young little Zhebin at the expense of being misunderstood as a pedophile juz so I won't ever have to date SibehSian.

*pukes again*

Thank you very much.

As a reward for not mentioning this again, here is something for u people:

Source :

Enjoy your weekend, folks.

A boring insight into a not-as-boring-as-u-think trade

Everytime I tell people that I'm in the shipping or logistics industry, people would give me an obligatory "Oh" and a couple of nods. The image that this industry has given, is one that is not only boring, but creates jobs undertaken by people who probably took up an engineering degree but didn't pass with a second upper and couldn't secure themselves with a high flier position in a big ass multinational company. Or usually, most workers in shipping don't even require a degree or diploma. After all, it's an ancient industry that exists from many many years ago.

True enough. The shipping industry is old. Very old. In fact, our little island was reformed from a little fishing village to a country that it is now through this trade. While I do not deny that there are certain positions that are extremely boring, like processing of bills and such, there are also interesting aspects of working in one of the world's oldest trade.

In case I have not mentioned this, I am a very lucky person. Or rather, i choose to think that I am very fortunate. I have landed myself in this industry since graduating from poly and had been exposed to the fanciful side of shipping.

1) One of the responsibilities I handled while working for a giant shipping company was to manage the vessel capacity of our local exports heading across the Pacific Ocean to North and South America. Everyday, I would look at our bookings and if we need more space on the vessel due to overwhelming volume, I would refer to the asia regional office and try to con them of sparing us more space.

"Do not give the space to cargo heading for Hong Kong or Taiwan. Our cargo brings in more revenue. "

When the vessel is full and there are urgent cargo, my customer service officers would come to me asking me for help. Sometimes I love being in such a position. Where people have to beg me. Hehe. Even when these booking girls try to intimidate me with their big ass accounts, they had to ask me with a pleading tone.

"Eh, Adrenaline, this cargo belongs to big-ass-account-that-we-cannot-afford-to-lose leh. Can help or not har?"

We had a wonderful system where I could draw reports on the imports and exports into and out of USA. You can tell how well our economy is doing year by year just based on these reports. One reason why I do not believe the newspapers when they indicate that our economy is improving. This is one thing that i love about being in this trade - you know first hand, reasons for prices going up and why we are constantly paying more for our basic needs while our pay remain constant. And you also know the papers are lying.

2) After getting my degree, I landed myself in a smaller shipping organization overlooking regional ports. I got to understand how shipping costs are derived, and was exposed to managing inventory across several ports. I understood why we had to sell at cost or even at a loss. I learnt so much about the dark sides of shipping - the smuggling, the bribery and why Asia is still viewed as a very corrupted continent. Because we really are.

3) When I found my way into a local logistics firm, I got to look at invoices of merchandisers and got to know the kind of profits they are making. I learnt about the reasons for fluctuating prices for FMCG.

So despite what some people think, the shipping industry isn't as boring as it portrays. But guess I won't be talking about it anymore since I'll be leaving this trade soon. Hopefully =)

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

They are lying

I came across some articles on a particular brides magazine and the writer offered some suggestions on spicing up your sexual life. Now, I was kind of bummed, cos i have tried some of these ideas and i know the magazine is lying (to me at least).

Or Mr BF is juz no longer physically attracted to me. Maybe becos i am fat.

Love Notes

Send some erotic sms or give him a sneak preview of the naughty activities you have planned for the night. That way, you get both of you really excited and by the time the night comes, you can't wait to get on with it and the sex would be real good.

The magazine says: After it was tried and tested, it received a four-star rating.

Adrenaline says: After once sending an sms telling Mr BF that I was feeling rather erotically charged, he got angry and said I was insulting him. I had absolutely no idea why, but that was it for raunchy smses. No more.

Adrenaline's rating : minus two-star.

Exotic Dance

Unleash your wildest fantasies, get sexy and strip slowly to the rhythm of the music you have chosen. Not only will his foreplay be already taken care of, it will lead to mind-blowing sex.

The magazine says: The guy loved it, although the girl got too tired. But it was still a wonderful experience. Four-star rating.

Adrenaline says: During the times where I get half or stark naked in the room after a shower, Mr BF would rather read the newspapers, watch TV or play with my dog than to even steal a glance at me. Forget exotic dance, he would think I am crazy.

Adrenaline's rating : minus one-star


"Add a little fun to your sexcapades with adult-only board games."

The magazine says : The games led the couple to relax and enjoy each other's company so the sex after that was more tender and loving. Four-star rating.

Adrenaline says : I've got such a game in my cupboard that is decomposing slowly. Enough said.

Adrenaline's rating : No star.

Lunchtime quickie

Meet up during lunchtime and feel the adrenaline rush of racing against the clock. Good excuse for fast and furious sex, without foreplay.

The magazine says : It was a wham-bang session literally and the guy loved it immensely. The urgency made both parties more aroused. Also four-star rating.

Adrenaline says : If you are dating a guy who wouldn't even hold your hand during lunch time for fear of being seen by co-workers, you can forget about having a quickie.

Adrenaline's rating : Not rated, cos not tried and not approved of in the first place.

The moral of the story is: Don't believe everything you read in magazines.

The end.

Friday, June 23, 2006

Why I decided to go down this road

In the beginning of courtship, everything is sweeeet. But as time passes by, each party starts showing their true colours and things change.

In the beginning:
Mr BF would hold me in his arms when we sleep.

After a few months:
We sleep on our side of the bed, after our bolster fight.

After a few years:
Mr BF sleeps on his side, holding on to MY bolster, with his back facing me.

In the beginning:
He would participate in the cooking, giving me suggestions on how to cook.

After a few months:
I cook alone in the kitchen while he plays CM4 on his laptop in the room.

After a few years:
He says, "Eh, you go buy supper for me leh."

In the beginning:
He brings me to ice-cream palours for desserts.

After a few months:
We buy ice-cream home and eat while watching TV.

After a few years:
"Ice-cream? Fat leh."

So you see, things change. And the challenge is being able to adapt to the changes. I can't say that I haven't been taking him for granted too. Recently, due to the stress from money and work (or the lack of it), I have been getting into foul moods and Mr BF has been most tolerant with me.

I guess, the positive effect of a relationship that has gone through a number of years is you have reached a most comfortable place with this person, and you can reveal the most ugly side of yourself, both physically and behaviorally. Somehow not being with this person will leave you both empty and restless.

Even with the uncertainty ahead and the lack of lovey-doveyness in our relationship, I am still going to marry Mr BF. Why?

1) We still have our bolster fights. Which induce a lot of laughter and joy.

2) I once hinted to Mr BF that he is getting lazy as he is no longer making the bed. Since then, he has always made the bed. Not once has he forgotten to do so. A characteristic, missing in most males that I know.

3) He loves my dog, who is another love of my life. More so than his own dog.

4) My dog loves him. Little Mimi follows Mr BF around (ignoring me) whenever he comes over, that 吃里爬外的狗.

5) He offers to massage my shoulders now and then (even when I do not complain of aches) because he knows that i suffer from aching shoulders very often.

6) I still look forward to seeing him every single weekend.

7) Although he is usually mature and wise, he does behave like a little boy some times, something that makes me sigh with contentment.

8) He makes me laugh.

9) I just love him.

10) I am still waiting for him to say, "I love you".

I know that after 3 years of courtship, it is strange that I have finally decided to marry a man who, up till now, has not told me he loves me (except during the times when I pinch his sides and force him to do so). Even though it's just words and his actions are loud, we women, need to hear these words. Mr BF said he would tell me That, when we get married. I'm not sure if this is true, so I am taking a chance here. I hope he does it before I get to meet my maker.

I got Da Job. Even though the pay offered is rather low, the overall package is still pretty appealing. Thank you all for your prayers.

Please do not ask me to start treating cos i believe i am poorer than the rest of you. I will treat only after bonus time.

Monday, June 19, 2006

That guy whom I had a crush on

I met Checkers before my first year in poly. He was introduced by Ah Kow. Checkers, was a well-mannered guy who had shoulder length hair. He often wore checkered shirts over his T-shirt, thus this nick. He was usually seen hanging out by himself or in the company of Ah Kow. Next to the latter, Checkers looked so cool and good-looking. Heh. Anyway, I got to see him more often when I got into poly and I would always check out the Travelab (this travel agency in the school for the Tourism students to practice) whenever I walked past, just in case he was inside. He was a third year then. Now and then, I would run into him in the library and we would engage in small talk (He was there to read, while my friends and I were there to nap, in-between lectures). It was always pleasant talking to him. He was always polite and had an incredible smile.

After he graduated, I ran into him a couple of times. Once was at Great World City. I was there for dinner (before heading off to Zouk) and I happened to bump into him.

Checkers : Hi!

Me : Hi! What are you doing here? *trying very heard to conceal my excitement*

Checkers: Nothing. Just checking out some stuff. You?

Me : For dinner. My friends and I are going to Zouk after this.

Checkers: *smiles brilliantly* I see. No wonder you're dressed like that.

Digression: As we all know, girls tend to wear less material when we go clubbing. It's an international fashion code.

Me : *smiles sheepishly* Heh. Yeah.

I guess he was taken aback cos I was normally clad in just T-shirt and jeans in school.

The second time I ran into Checkers was at Bugis Junction. He was in rush when he walked past me and I called out to him. I was pleasantly surprised to run into him but we didn't manage much talk cos he was obviously rushing off. The farnie thing is, after he went up to the second floor, he could actually see me over the railings and he started talking to me from there. Yeah, I was one floor down and we were practically shouting to each other.

Checkers : Hey, so do you still keep in touch with Ah Kow?

Me : Yeah. (In fact, i was seeing him on the side, but never mind). Do you?

Checkers : Oh, that's good. No, we don't keep in touch anymore. You take care.

And he flashed that brilliant smile again. Heh.

Unfortunately, I did not managed to get his number both times we've met. And being an anti-social person, Ah Kow didn't keep in touch with Checkers either and they've lost touch since poly.

Haiz. Never mind.

That girl whom I avoided

KBimbo was this annoying person who, unfortunately, became my poly classmate in Year 2. She was the outcast of the class. Our reasons for banishing her were valid: she squealed instead of talking normally, tried very hard to apple-polish our lecturers to get into their good books, bragged about her ugly & rich boyfriend, tried to speak with a weird accent, dressed like an auntie and she was very ugly.

Okay, I'm kidding. She wasn't ugly. In fact, she was far from ugly. And I must add that she was blessed with a very slim body. Which was why it wasn't hard to understand that a couple of guys in our class once had a crush on her before they got to know her personality. But after a while, they realised that she had no inner beauty, at all. And they had to live in shame for the rest of their poly days cos the rest of us would constantly remind and tease these boys for their foolish choice for a crush.

A typical conversation with her would go like this:

KBimbo : What are you doing after school?

Sunshine Girl : I'm going to my boyfriend's place.

KBimbo : Oh, me too ... going to DD (her boyfriend) 's place after this. Aiyah, I find it so tiring hang out at his place. Gotta climb a lot of steps cos his house is so big, and so many floors ...

Sunshine Girl : .....

Their conversations were usually interrupted by me going up to Sunshine Girl (my buddy) and pulling her away.

KBimbo : Hey, where are you girls going during the 5-hours break later?

Sunshine Girl : Oh, we are going ....

Me : Come, Sunshine Girl, let's go! *pulls her away and led her away from KBimbo*

Yes, I was rude. But I had every reason to be. For one, KBimbo once sold our class out to a particular lecturer.

It was during a particular event management project. The class was divided into two groups and I thanked all the gods in heaven that she wasn't in my group. Her group members, stayed till wee hours in the morning to complete the project and during these times, they would gossip about certain lecturers. One particular lecturer, was on top of the gossip list as his lectures are often cited with examples that involved Sex tourism, Desker Road, and Changi. In fact, during one of our night trips, he altered our itinerary and brought us to Desker Road for an "eye-opener". I didn't care much about this lecturer actually; since I had the habit of filtering out the knowledge he tried to impart us with.

Anyway, the group members made fun of this lecturer by discussing about how lecherous he was. Apparently, KBimbo went to said lecturer and passed on this piece of gossip to him. The half of the class received a stern warning from him after that, and many of us didn't do well for his subject that year. The reason why we knew it was her: She was the only one who was apple polishing him and would go to his room as often as possible. After the stern warning, she immediately left the class and went to his room to "chat" with him.

Maybe it wasn't her. But we would like to think that it was.

After this incident (and many others that annoyed us), we tried all means and ways to avoid her. She wasn't part of our clique although she tried very hard to be.

On Mondays, we had a 5-hour lecture break and our usual practice was to hang out at Tampines Mall or at somebody's place near the school. Before the lecture ended, she would be asking Sunshine Girl where we would be going and tried to hint for an invitation. So, this was one time, where we all agreed that we would run out of the lecture theatre immediately after class, and straight to the bus stop. But before we could get to the bus stop, we realised that she was running after us! It was pathetic and hilarious at the same time. We detoured and ran off to hide in some remote stairway just to get out of her sight. After which, we took a cab instead, lest we ran into her at the bus stop. After an hour of exasperation from searching for us, she called my friend and started bawling, asking why we had deserted her. We didn't; she just wasn't part of our group and the rest of the gang knew that I loathed her. Being the more popular one, I obviously had the support from the rest.

There were other instances where she was being humuliated. Like how nobody wanted her in their project groups and we had to draw lots just to see which unlucky group would have to take her in. She was unhappy with this arrangement, as she wanted very much to join my group. One of my group members, feeling sorry for KBimbo, volunteered to drop out of our group just so we could accommodate KBimbo in. I reacted violently.

KC : Okay, in that case, I'll go join S's group and KBimbo can come into our group.

Me : NO!! *grabbed KC's hand* No way I'm letting you out of this group.

KBimbo : ... *pout*

So we had to draw lots all over again and still, she did not manage to get into our group. Heh. Just her luck. I feel sorry for the group who had to take her in though. I got complaints from them for the rest of the year.

It has been quite a few year since graduating from poly. Last week, as fate would have it, I ran into KBimbo at a grocery shop near my home. What the hell was she doing here? She doesn't even live in this area. But i avoided her nonethless, as I cannot imagine having to subject myself to the hypocritical and obligatory small talk with her.

The guy whom I cut out of my life

He was the one who taught me a lot of stuff I didn't know on bed. He was the one who encouraged me to smoke. He was the one who encouraged me to have affairs. He was, the Sex Demon.

I had an affair with Sex Demon that lasted a year. During this time, he was also seeing other girls and as we both agreed that our relationship was not exclusive, I didn't think too much about it. After some time, I got sick of it and ended things with him. But we didn't stop contacting. He was always asking me for favours and I ended up doing the most ridiculous things with/for him. Like how there was once, where I had to accompany him to spy on his ex-girlfriend who was threatening to kill herself after he initiated a break up by sending him her blood. We stood opposite her block for hours just to make sure she didn't try to jump or something. Actually, we couldn't have prevented it if she did try to jump cos we were too far to yell for her to stop. But it didn't cross my mind at that time.

On some nights, he would call me at 3am and asked to be let into my home cos he had forgotten his keys, or had gotten pissed drunk or was avoiding some weird psycho girl who was stalking him. My mom, soon got tired of a guy coming into my room at such times and warned me to stop. It was difficult to say no to him; he was such a sweet-talker with this overwhelming charisma that I couldn't seemed to reject him each time he pleaded to be let into my home. I did stop adhering to his requests eventually though. One time, he begged me to let him use my driver's license for a traffic offence that would cost him 12 points, which he didn't have. I succumbed after much begging. The final straw came, when he once again, pleaded with me to help him out for another traffic offence. I refused, and he had the cheek to tell me that this would be the time to test if I was a good "friend".

I think I can be a fantastic friend. But this guy, whom I no longer want to claim as a friend, is not worth my help. I made a conscious note to cut him entirely out of my life. I still keep his number on my mobile though, so I would know the calls to avoid.

The girl who ripped my faith in her

During his temporary job after graduating from poly, Ed met this girl, Cancer, whom he started dating. We hung out a lot together - having coffee, prawn-fishing and most of all clubbing. Cancer soon became very close to me and we continued to hang out after Ed was enlisted into the army. We would party almost every weekend and as Cancer was an extremely heavy smoker, I started smoking a lot.

After some time, things started to get a little weird as Cancer wanted to stick to me wherever I go. She met up with some of my friends for a couple of times, and she instantly wanted an invitation if I was hanging out with them. Everytime I received an sms, she would pop her head over and read my sms with me. She was invading into my privacy. Still, I let it go as there were times where she was a very good and loyal friend. Once, I got pissed drunk at a club and I couldn't even stand properly, let alone walk. This was this particularly guy (who was interested in me then) who offered to carry me to the cab. In order to stop this guy from getting fresh, she tried to piggy-back me even though she was skinny like a stick and probably was only half of my weight.

Nevertheless, I couldn't tolerate anyone who went around divulging my secrets. I had gotten myself into some shit which I wasn't proud of. She got to know about it and I had asked her to keep it to herself. This was not something that I wanted the guys to know about. (By then, she was joining us for almost every group meet ups.) But she told them anyway and I was very, very mad. I gave her a very stern warning that anything regarding this issue was not to be shared with anyone else. I told her cos I trusted her. She promised that she would never say anything to the guys again.

But she didn't keep her promise. In fact, she was openly "discussing" my problem with the guys. One of the guys called me, out of concern, on what was happening to me. Apparently, he had gotten to know about this from another guy, and this guy had gotten to know about this, from Cancer during a group meeting when I was absent. While I appreciate the concern from my friends who wanted to make sure I was all right, I was furious with Cancer. She should know better than to be sharing my very personal issues with everybody. She wasn't looking for an option for me; she was gossiping.

On the day that I got to know this, I had just gotten a permanent job and wanted to buy her a nice watch for her birthday. I was glad I didn't. Anyway, I called her up, yelled at her over the phone, and told her never to call me again. She tried to get away with it by blaming it on the guys, saying they were interested to know about it. But my bond with the guys was way stronger than she thought. They knew when to respect my privacy and wouldn't pry on my secrets.

As such, I stopped all contacts with her. Even though she called me up a few months later, things were no longer the same. I juz couldn't befriend someone that had let me down before.


And that sums up my life of 过路人.

Friday, June 16, 2006

HUMmm ...

Hum Ji


Literal Translation : Absence of balls or shrunken balls.

Meaning : To describe a cowardly person who has no guts to even stand up for himself. Generally used on males.

An Example :
"Things came to a head when I caught them sneaking away with another two pens while I was returning from the loo. That was the last straw on this camel’s back, and I knew Something has to be done. .....

Me: . . . . Eh. . . . .

Ang Mo: Hi! How may I help you?

Me: Oh, eh. . . . Lunch was very delicious!

Ang Mo: Oh yeah, very delicious indeed!

Me: Haha, very, very delicious! *Retreats back to the comfort of my booth*

I have the backbone of a jellyfish."

Source :

Here, Mr Sian has demonstrated the true qualities of being a Hum Ji person.

Hum Sup


Literal Translation : "Suck", "Wet"

Meaning : To describe a lecherous person. Often used on males.

An Example :

"Damn. If I had cute tutors like her back in my uni days, I’m sure I would have got a 1st Class instead of my mediocre Pass, because I would have faithfully attended all my tutorials."

Source :

Once again, Mr Sian has desmonstrated fulfilment of the term, Hum Sup.

Hum Chee Beng


Literal Translation : Salty Biscuit (Bun) with sesame seeds

Usage : Usually eaten. However, can be used as a nickname to spite other people during arguements.

Example :

A hum-chee-beng lookalike

Okay, I added the "sesame seeds" on this pic but it does look something like this.

or this word can also be used like this:

"President? President? Oy! What u doin’?! Unhand me this instant! You guys are making a big mistake! It’s a conspiracy! I dun want to go toilet break! I hear u, Hum-Chee-Peng!"

Source :

Actually, I wasn't sure if Miss (Mrs) Kueh was calling someone else names, or there was just this pitiful person whose parents decided to crack a joke with him when he was born.

Humming Bird


Literal Translation : A bird named for the characteristic hum made by their wings

Meaning : A type of bird, considered as small birds in the family of Trochilidae.

Example :


Languages and dialects can be quite interesting, no?

Thursday, June 15, 2006


Okay, latest updates. My boss wants to shut down our office by the end of this month. Which is perfectly fine, if he had not tried to argue his way out of paying me the "one-month's notice" with the lame excuse that his company is that of a traditional Chinese company where they need to give only two week's notice to their staff.

He gotta be fucking kidding me.

Not only am I entitled to my one month's salary, I have to be compensated in terms of my Annual Leave's Balance.

After realising that he couldn't get away with just two week's notice, he decided to issue a letter stating our rightful compensation. But our company will not operate beyond June.

Which means, that I will be getting two to three weeks of paid rest.


This is my current look

As if this piece of news is not good enough, I now bear good news about Da Job at Da Company. As it is not 100% confirmed yet, I shall refrain from blogging about it until I am informed of my remuneration package next week.

Stay tuned!

*hops away happily*

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Upcoming Trend?

While nursing my ailing body in bed this morning, I received an SMS from Free Willy. He asked if I was able to attend his wedding dinner which is brought forward from December this year. Reason being, his wife is now pregnant.

Just last week, I attended a wedding which was arranged within two and a half months. The girl, also got pregnant apparently and they had very little time to get prepared. But their situation is pretty rough, as the girl had just graduated from poly and just started work. She left her job immediately upon confirmation of her pregnancy. I guess she didn’t want to deal with the office gossips that would most likely take place with the bulging of her tummy.

Last November, a cousin of mine, got married rather abruptly. She is 3 years younger than me and while we are on good terms, I have not heard her mentioned her marriage prior to this. After all, her husband was still schooling. My mom kept hinting that I should go ask her about it which I of course, refused to. If she had wanted me to know, she would have told me without my asking. Anyway, I told my mom that we would know the truth sooner or later. And six months later, we received news of the birth of her baby boy.

Shot-gun marriages now seem to be an upcoming trend. Or has it always been there?

I believe from young, we have been instilled into our minds the consequences of unprotected sex. Apart from stern warnings from parents, the drama serials shown on Channel 8 also act as reminders:

1) Girl meets Boy. They had sex. Girl gets pregnant. Boy dumps girl. Girl turns suicidal.

2) Girl meets Boy. They had unprotected sex. Girl gets pregnant and Boy makes her go for abortion. After which, Girl will go into a depression and kill herself.

3) Girl meets Boy. They had unprotected sex and Girl gets pregnant. They decided to get married but met with a lot of financial and emotional huddles. Eventually they broke up and the children were left with a broken family.

Despite the constant reminders from our environment, we often still see our friends getting themselves into such sticky situations. Even for Free Willy, a man whom I felt was not only cautious, but also sensible enough not to get himself into unplanned situations such as these. Just last week, I was still asking him about parenthood and he said it wouldn’t happen soon. But sometimes, things change just with the blinking of an eye. I wouldn’t worry about him though, since he is financially stable and they had already gone through ROM last year.

Shot-gun marriages needn’t necessarily mean it wouldn’t work nor it is definitely a bad thing. It’s just, in my opinion, such events are better when prepared.

These incidents also made me realize that no matter how mentally strong you are, you will yield to temptations, when it comes to sex. I know some of you out there enjoy having unprotected sex. While I hope you have enjoyed yourselves, I also wish that you will be ready to face the music in time to come. Something that I constantly remind myself about.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Stupid Blo*ger

I wanted to respond to a particular request on blogging about the preps for the big, wild party at the end of the year. I was already done with the entire post, attached with pictures and all, and blogger decided to hang at this time.


Yes, it was Blogger, not IE. Cos my other opened IE windows were still working fine.

After the massive swearing, I decided not to replicate the same entry. Rather, I'd just update you guys on my job search.

With regards to The Interview, I am still waiting for an answer. I was informed that should I be selected, I would get a reply within two weeks. It has been only a week but I have a really strong hunch that I wouldn't get it. Even though the interview went on quite well. Reason being I had certain dates keyed in wrongly in my resume and the interviewers spotted it during the interview itself. Fuck.

I am getting a second interview for another position that my agent sent my application to. It appears that this Japanese firm is rather keen on hiring me. They've also sent me good vibes during the interview. The only drawback is, I would have to settle on a lower pay. I have already taken a pay cut, gave up a pay increment to take up my current position. I can't imagine how survival is possible when I have to go for a further pay cut. Moi pay would then fall under the same pay category for fresh grads. To be frank, i no longer feel fresh. So neither should my salary be.

I just went for an interview with a German firm and the position appears to be challenging and promising. It's something I want to land myself into. The pay is within my expectation and the location is fine. Let's hope there would be news for a second interview.

But I am still waiting for that call from that company. Don't ask me why I am so insistent; i just like their company's logo, k?

Pray for me .................

Monday, June 05, 2006

Poisonous Friends

At one point or another during the course of life, we will chance upon people whom I call poisonous friends. These "friends", as the word poisonous suggests, not only harm your emotional well-being, they do damage to your mental health as well.

Characteristics of Poisonous Friends:

1) He/She, through painfully thought-out comments, suggests that you have very low moral standards. At least, compared to him/her.

E.g. You broke up with a guy who broke your heart and started seeing another guy a few months later. The first thing a poisonous friend says to you, "Wah! You change very fast hor?!"

2) He/she insults your integrity.

E.g. By suggesting that you were cheating at Mahjong with your partner. Which was not only untrue, and that he or she should know better when you have been friends for more than a decade and have played countless times at mahjong.

3) He/She passes thoughtless comments just to hurt you.

E.g. After a tiresome meal that you have whipped up for your friends, insteading of showing appreciation, a poisonous friend will tell you that your cooking is not as comparable as XXX, another friend.

4) He/She pass mean remarks behind your back.

E.g. After a meal that your friends have whipped up for everybody, the poisonous friend takes you to the back and tell you that their cooking is not comparable as yours. Not that it hurts you, but I find it loathsome of someone to pass such remarks after other people have painstakingly made the effort to fill your stomach.

5) He/She claimed you as their friend/sister/brother, when he/she needs help, but does the deeds as stated above when he/she does not.

6) He/She suddenly become the most understanding people on earth when it comes to the people who are still single and unattached. But to a friend of many years, he/she does not apply the same supportive attitude.

7) He/She tried to be a good friend by keeping you company during your breakups but all he/she could talk about were their previous breakups.

8) He/She doesn't dare to poke fun at those friends who are more eloquent than him/her. He/She only poke fun at you because you are kind enough not to humuliate him/her publicly or in front of his/her partners.

There are of course a lot more characteristics of a poisonous friend. The question is, should we still keep such people as friends?

I've been in dilemma for a long time about this. The said friend is someone I've known for more than a decade. Not only was he nice, he was an incredibly humble and loyal friend. But he has since, changed over the years (I blame his job for this) and while a few of us have hinted/told him straight in the face about this, he persisted that there is nothing wrong with him. He is fine and alright to have around at times. But whenever he says something just to irk me, it immediately bursts a blood vessel of mine.

Some of my friends do not understand my resentment towards said friend. That is because they do not experience when I am being made to go through. I swear none of you will be as tolerant as me, when you have to undergo the same kind of insulting and hurtful remarks.

I do not understand why he picks me for such abuse. Is it because he secretly hates me? The abuse that I suffered has accumulated into a lot of built-in resentment over the years. As such, I am no longer polite with my rebuttals. Some friends have told me that I am biased against said poisonous friend. But you guys do not understand that this is a result of cause-and-effect. If he had not attacked my dignity and integrity on several occassions, I wouldn't have to bear such prejudice against him. I am not an unreasonable person. I'm sure you guys know that.

To tell the truth, I am more hurt, than I am angry. It's almost impossible to forgo all contacts with this person as we share a common group of friends.

Apart from not meeting up with my friends when he is also present (the last option I would like to adopt), is there something else I can do about this?

Barney - just in case you're wondering, I'm not talking about you, okay? even though you try to irk me all the time =)