I came across some articles on a particular brides magazine and the writer offered some suggestions on spicing up your sexual life. Now, I was kind of bummed, cos i have tried some of these ideas and i know the magazine is lying (to me at least).
Or Mr BF is juz no longer physically attracted to me. Maybe becos i am fat.
Love Notes
Send some erotic sms or give him a sneak preview of the naughty activities you have planned for the night. That way, you get both of you really excited and by the time the night comes, you can't wait to get on with it and the sex would be real good.
The magazine says: After it was tried and tested, it received a four-star rating.
Adrenaline says: After once sending an sms telling Mr BF that I was feeling rather erotically charged, he got angry and said I was insulting him. I had absolutely no idea why, but that was it for raunchy smses. No more.
Adrenaline's rating : minus two-star.
Exotic Dance
Unleash your wildest fantasies, get sexy and strip slowly to the rhythm of the music you have chosen. Not only will his foreplay be already taken care of, it will lead to mind-blowing sex.
The magazine says: The guy loved it, although the girl got too tired. But it was still a wonderful experience. Four-star rating.
Adrenaline says: During the times where I get half or stark naked in the room after a shower, Mr BF would rather read the newspapers, watch TV or play with my dog than to even steal a glance at me. Forget exotic dance, he would think I am crazy.
Adrenaline's rating : minus one-star
Games
"Add a little fun to your sexcapades with adult-only board games."
The magazine says : The games led the couple to relax and enjoy each other's company so the sex after that was more tender and loving. Four-star rating.
Adrenaline says : I've got such a game in my cupboard that is decomposing slowly. Enough said.
Adrenaline's rating : No star.
Lunchtime quickie
Meet up during lunchtime and feel the adrenaline rush of racing against the clock. Good excuse for fast and furious sex, without foreplay.
The magazine says : It was a wham-bang session literally and the guy loved it immensely. The urgency made both parties more aroused. Also four-star rating.
Adrenaline says : If you are dating a guy who wouldn't even hold your hand during lunch time for fear of being seen by co-workers, you can forget about having a quickie.
Adrenaline's rating : Not rated, cos not tried and not approved of in the first place.
The moral of the story is: Don't believe everything you read in magazines.
The end.
posted by Adrenaline at 11:39 AM
25 Comments:
...And that is the reason why I do not read women's magazines :)
I have another suggestion: play Chinese Chess together. The tension accumulated from the taking of pieces and check-mating will do wonders for your sex life!
Rating: Not too sure it will work for sex. But after playing the game online, I usually pay a visit to, eh, artistic sites. Heh.
haha..that was funny.. :)
hey! you popped up ur comment box! cool! :)
true! do not read women's magazines. instead, read men's magazines. they teach us men how to score with women.
we need you to read so that you know how to react correctly when we perform the actions taught by the men's magazines.. else we always get the usual tight slap.
it only works if both parties are those 'open minded' and dun take each other granted.
but true la. if u suddenly do all these, i'm sure ur BF will think u're mad/slutty etc. it's so out of the norm, he must be thinking.
anyway funny post.. ahhaha :)
Just be comfortable with who you are, and charm your man through your own ways! If it bothers you too much you can always just talk to him in a non-sexual setting and ask him why he's not being responsive. Most of the time it's work stress and has nothing to do with whether you're fat or not.
Have more confidence in yourself!
mela: oh, u're a very intelligent woman. No wonder Green Ogre is crazy about u. heee ...
sibeh sian: u're sick man.
but erm, i do like chinese chess. With a non-sexual attitude.
ezer: yeap, as requested! =)
dark jedi: hahahah .... point noted. i'll try FHM the next time.
spinee: actually, i didn't juz do these suddenly. I am like that! guess Mr BF is not used to having girls making moves on him...
shelly: yes, i'll attribute it to his work stress, and probably his upbringing. They're not exactly the open kind.
I have confidence in myself; just lesser when im with him, dat's all.
Maybe you might want to lend people (a.k.a me) your board game. It deserves to have a night out. = D
Oh oh oh. I wouldn't exchange my lunchtime with anything else one leh. I can always sneak out during work time (if it happens to me) but never during lunchtime. My mother said 3 meals must eat properly. LOL.
And hor, people's taste can change one mah. Come one day he might be dancing for you, who knows right.
binny: the fact is, the board game is now piled under a whole lot of rubbish and it will take forever for me to scoop it out.
erm ... yeah i know, 3 meals muz eat properly, but erm .... ok, u're the only guy i think would give up sex for food. hehe.
i think i wait until cobwebs all over me also no dancing from him lah. haha ....
NB, I not crazy okay?
And why are you reading such nonsense? My suggestion is to get him to watch porn together with you. Since you seem so game to try stuff out.
Orge:
I am hurt.
:(
ogre: oh oh. ur apple is hurt. Gotta do some damage repair liao. hehe.
i didn't say u're crazy. i juz said u're crazy abt her. Ain't that right?
Mr BF doesn't like porn. And he doesn't like me to watch porn. We sort of had a fight on this before. hee.
Mela: There are other fish in the ocean, u noe. heheh ... ogre's gonna kill me for this!
Chinese Chess rules, Pop-Up Comment Box sucks!
For now, silence is golden...
Grimaces...
Anticipating sex is so much more exciting. ; ) You know like foreplay before the foreplay? But of cos if it leads to nothing then it will be FUCKING SIAN (pardon me Sibei Sian). And of cos I was just kidding about the board game lah. Heehee.
sibeh sian: u sibeh no lifer lah.
green ogre: okie. *silence*
binny: i know wat u mean abt anticpating sex. but i dun like to anticipate too much. cannot concentrate on other things. i bet AKK agrees wif me. hehehe ...
YES! The irritating pop-up is gone. I always knew you loved me, Adrenaline.
Anyway, I am full of life ok? I just checked my pulse this morning.
Unfortunately, i had to finally agree wif u this time that the pop up box does get irritating.
yes, i do love u. i wish i can tear u up into little pieces so that i can eat u and store u in my big fat stomach.
you 2 would make a fantastic couple.. lol!
wow, i think the romance is here.
No wonder sian ask me to join the rehab program! @_@
i agree whole-heartedly that stress is kena big factor. I just wondered if there were men out there who uses sex to de-stress rather than view it as another form of stress? and if i ever tried any of these tricks....A will roll over the floor and laugh non-stop. i do so swear.
Have you tried looking deliciously naked? Put food on yourself!
I bet I will look good with chui kueh all over me :)
0.o
if i'm reading this right, in approximately 12 hours, there has been 23 comments on this post. fwah...
i'm sure you know what turns him on, so you can use those tatics to spice up your sex life, no? failing that, you can always be direct and ask him what turns him on. :p
dark jedi: kill me.
sunflower: again, kill me.
AKK: yes, a lot of men see sex as a form of de-stressing. really.
As much as I would want to disagree, I also think A would roll on the floor laughing.
ogre: do u noe know Mr BF?? u think he is the kind to get turned on wif food on me?? he would pick all the food off me, and ask me to get out.
sibeh sian: can u fucking not spoil the image of chui kueh? u sibeh spoiler leh u.
ensui: thanks, but tried and failed. fullstop.
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