Why I decided to go down this road

In the beginning of courtship, everything is sweeeet. But as time passes by, each party starts showing their true colours and things change.

In the beginning:
Mr BF would hold me in his arms when we sleep.

After a few months:
We sleep on our side of the bed, after our bolster fight.

After a few years:
Mr BF sleeps on his side, holding on to MY bolster, with his back facing me.


In the beginning:
He would participate in the cooking, giving me suggestions on how to cook.

After a few months:
I cook alone in the kitchen while he plays CM4 on his laptop in the room.

After a few years:
He says, "Eh, you go buy supper for me leh."


In the beginning:
He brings me to ice-cream palours for desserts.

After a few months:
We buy ice-cream home and eat while watching TV.

After a few years:
"Ice-cream? Fat leh."


So you see, things change. And the challenge is being able to adapt to the changes. I can't say that I haven't been taking him for granted too. Recently, due to the stress from money and work (or the lack of it), I have been getting into foul moods and Mr BF has been most tolerant with me.

I guess, the positive effect of a relationship that has gone through a number of years is you have reached a most comfortable place with this person, and you can reveal the most ugly side of yourself, both physically and behaviorally. Somehow not being with this person will leave you both empty and restless.

Even with the uncertainty ahead and the lack of lovey-doveyness in our relationship, I am still going to marry Mr BF. Why?

1) We still have our bolster fights. Which induce a lot of laughter and joy.

2) I once hinted to Mr BF that he is getting lazy as he is no longer making the bed. Since then, he has always made the bed. Not once has he forgotten to do so. A characteristic, missing in most males that I know.

3) He loves my dog, who is another love of my life. More so than his own dog.

4) My dog loves him. Little Mimi follows Mr BF around (ignoring me) whenever he comes over, that 吃里爬外的狗.

5) He offers to massage my shoulders now and then (even when I do not complain of aches) because he knows that i suffer from aching shoulders very often.

6) I still look forward to seeing him every single weekend.

7) Although he is usually mature and wise, he does behave like a little boy some times, something that makes me sigh with contentment.

8) He makes me laugh.

9) I just love him.

10) I am still waiting for him to say, "I love you".

I know that after 3 years of courtship, it is strange that I have finally decided to marry a man who, up till now, has not told me he loves me (except during the times when I pinch his sides and force him to do so). Even though it's just words and his actions are loud, we women, need to hear these words. Mr BF said he would tell me That, when we get married. I'm not sure if this is true, so I am taking a chance here. I hope he does it before I get to meet my maker.