Conned by TV

I think I had my most absurd meal ever.

Upon recommendation by a particular celebrity on TV, Mr BF decided to take me to this cafe, (believed to be newly opened) last Friday for dinner.

You know how you always see celebrities on TV, and they go "wooooo!" or "woooooow!!" or "MMMmmmmmm....." when they're promoting some cuisines, local or otherwise.

Don't ever believe that. No matter how good it looks on TV.

The ordeal we went through:

1. Ordering

We sat in the open area for five minutes before I took the initiative to pick up the menu from the hostess stand. A waitress came to clear up our table and took our order upon our request.

2. Waiting

We were told, after ordering, that there would be a waiting time of half hour to 45 min. Despite being absolutely hungry, we decided to wait and give this cafe a chance.

3. Being served

Our drinks - The waitress promised to serve us our drinks as soon as possible. Obviously we believe her as we didn't think it was hard to prepare an iced peach and iced lemon tea. She even promised that I can knock her on the head if she forgets about our orders.

After ten minutes or so, we still didn't have our drinks. We had to ask another server, a guy this time, to serve us the drinks. He did that promptly but the drinks that he brought to us, was completely bland. If not for the colouring, I would really think I was drinking stale water from the tap.

After a good 20 minutes, a waitress came along and informed us that they had ran out of pasta for my oven-baked pasta. She asked if we would like to change it to oven-baked rice instead, which is already READY. You don't need an IQ of 200 to realise there was a slip-up on our order and they're trying to persuade us to eat their error.

"Fine." Since we were really hungry.

Oddly, our main course, the oven-baked rice, came before the Caesar Salad, the appetizer.

The next dish served was the order of "Nuggets with Potato Wedges". Except that it wasn't potato wedges that was served. It was juz some good, old fries, fried with very dirty oil.

Grrrr. Never mind.

Before we could get a start on our food, my dessert consisting of a brownie and ice-cream was served. I had asked for the dessert to be served last. So I had to, once again, call the waitress over, and have her to take it away.

By then, we are starting to feel a little irritated, although, I did find it strangely amusing at the same time.

Our appetizer came after that. But it wasn't the Caesar salad that we ordered. The waiter placed the plate on our table. "Your Chef salad".

Now, I usually don't order salad when I eat out because I don't like the taste of too much Thousand Island on my vegetables. But Caesar salads are different. Which is why, i ONLY order Caesar Salads when I'm out.

"We didn't order a chef salad. We ordered a Caesar Salad."

The waiter took the plate back to the kitchen. I was a little annoyed but continued eating nonetheless.

After a while, a waitress brought out the same plate of salad and served it on our table. "Your Chef salad."

"I already told your colleague juz now that we ordered a Caesar Salad. NOT a Chef Salad. This is, NOT a Caesar Salad."

The waitress apologised and took the plate back to the kitchen. She came back a while later, with the exact same plate.

"This is a Caesar Salad. They ran out of chicken so they replaced it with ham."

!!!!

Firstly, if you've made a mistake with the order, admit it.

Secondly, even if what they said is the truth, shouldn't they seek the guest's opinion before replacing any ingredient?

Thirdly, if this is indeed a Caesar Salad, where the hell are the bread crumbs and bacon bits?!

Lastly, it's NOT A BLOODY CAESAR SALAD!!!

"Never mind. Leave it. I'll speak to your boss later."

We continued eating. Just wanted to quickly finish the meal and get the hell out of there.

The waiter who served us the salad the first time came over to our table.

"Eh, they still serve you the salad ah?"

"Yeah. We told them this is not a Caesar salad but they insist this is. There are no bacon bits or bread crumbs on this salad."

"You want bread crumbs on the salad? I think I saw some on the counter. Maybe the staff inside overlooked it. You want it? I can get it for you."

Thank you for that offer. But it no longer matters now.

The only dish that was served correctly was the honey-grilled chicken wings.

After the not-so-satisfying-nor-is-it-delicious meal, I asked for the dessert to be served. Which took another 10 minutes.

Mind you, it wasn't a most busy time for them.

The dessert looked quite appetizing, although the brownie seemed to be able to fill just two mouthfuls.

Our brownie, when served

After we started digging into the brownie, Mr BF decided to ask for a knife. We found it impossible to eat the hard-as-a-rock brownie with conventional spoons. But by then, I was already so fed-up with the dining experience that I decided not to call anyone over anymore as I know it's impossible for them to adhere our request. Not in the right manner at least.

The leftover brownie - Hard as a rock

In the end, I spent a good 30 bucks on a most unsatisfying meal. I would have banged some tables and kicked some chairs, if not for the very eager waiter and waitresses that kept apologising. When I was making payment, I realised that the entire cafe was ran by students, not older than 20.

Besides from the right attitude, they really gotta work on everything else, including serving the right food. Literally.

Needless to say, I won't be going back there. But then again, I might return to claim back the knocks on the head that the waitress owes me =)

The Tammy Scandal

I'm sure by now, almost everybody knows about this scandal. The NYP girl who videocam herself having sex with her bf. While there are many who judged and ridicule the girl, there are also many others who sympathise with her. And they should:

1) Legal issue - Unless the action took place in a public place, she is not committing any offence. It's just for her (and her bf's) own enjoyment.

2) Legal issue - The clip was not distributed by her. Her phone was deliberately stolen, and it's not her fault that thieves are everywhere.

3) Moral Issue - Unless she is a Christian or Catholic, no one can't judge and say she is doing something morally wrong by having pre-marital sex. Many girls I know lose their virginity by 16, or before 16. Not me, though.

A particular blog I came across said she shouldn't have video-cam herself in the first place. I personally feel there is nothing wrong with doing that. Just that she should have saved the clip in something else other than her phone.

Don't all of us have some kind of sexual fantasy? Some people like to make out in public toilets, some like to play with blown-up dolls, some like to ass-fuck .... So what the hell is wrong that this girl wanting to video-cam herself? Hell ... it might not even be her idea in the first place.

The only person to be blamed is the one who put up the clip for the world to see. Now, Tammy might have been a bitch, but to subject her to such humuliation is taking it too far.

I hope the person gets his/her fingers clipped off, so that he/she will not be able to click on the mouse again.

My Life as 007

Having some time, I searched through Blogger looking for some interesting blogs to read. Then I noticed a lot of bloggers enjoy blogging about their life. Their daily life, that is. The thing is, unless you are Tom Cruise in MI or Batman, your daily life is just plain boring. I mean, most readers are not interested in how your breath smells or how many abdominal crunches you do a day. Unless you post nude pics of yourself while exercising so that we can ridicule you.

Don't get me wrong. My life is just as boring. I don't get up from my bed in the morning to save the world from destruction or to take down the villain that is creating this virus that will kill half the people on this globe.

The villain

Which is why I'm sick of having nothing interesting in my life to blog about. Sometimes I wish I am 007 or something so that I can blog about what a fantastic life I have.

Make-believe Diary of a phony 007

9.30am
Woke up with a brunette on my arm. What's new? I wake up with gals on my arms every single freaking day. Because i am damn gorgeous and fucking rich. Glad I picked a brunette last night, and not a blonde. Blondes give better heads but brunettes have bigger breasts. Yeah, I like my hands full.

10.00am
Went for brunch at the cafe. Did I mention that I'm staying in the presidential suite in a 9-star hotel? Yes, I stay there everyday. It's my home. Why? Because I'm 007 and fucking rich and goddamn good-looking.

11.00am
Went to see the president of Lulu Island. Drove there in my brand new BMW. Just in case you don't realise, 007 gets all the gorgeous babes and the fancy cars. I didn't have to stop as I pass through the gate as I have a device in my car that will transmit all the details of myself and my passengers to the car room. I designed this device myself. I know, i am just brilliant.

The president told me that a baddie had stolen the ring which his mama gave him. It was a family heirloom and is worth millions of dollars in the black market. He could trust no one, but me, to retrieve the ring for him. I stroke the remaining hair on his balding head and gave him my assurance that i would bring the ring back. By now, of course, I already have my super dynamic gun in my car boot. And of course, my computer in the car has ready all the information including the location, race, foot size and natural colour of the hair of the baddie.

12.30pm
I'm at your average five-star hotel. The kind that doesn't even have sauna facilities in your own suite. Disgusting.

An Asian girl walked past me and fainted. It must be my natural scent. I smell damn good becos' I am 007. Mind you, I don't even use cologne. I juz don't bathe for 3 days.

The baddie's girlfriend is staying in one of the rooms on the 5th floor. If you have to stay on the lower floors of a five-star hotel, you're obviously poor. I mean, I stay on a floor so high that I can get a good view of the Pacific Ocean. Then again, I'm 007 and most people can't compare themselves to me.

Door opened. Wow, she looks good.

Are you trying to seduce me?

The device in my watch started scanning the girl giving me full details of her race, cup size, eating habits, primary school, her college results, favourite position on bed, etc. I stepped into the room, but before I can open my mouth, she started kissing me. Being irresistible - I'm used to it.

After a good romping in the balcony, on the dresser, in the bath tub and a quickie along the corridor, girl told me the whereabouts of baddie. She couldn't bear for me to leave cos I am so amazing on bed but I told her I had serious matters to attend to. I thought of going back for her tonight but I'm a little concerned about the lump in her throat. It makes her look a little weird.

3.30pm
I left the hotel hurridly. Must catch baddie soon so that I won't miss The Simpsons at 6'o clock.

4.30pm
Arrived at a construction site. Went up to the 10th floor and saw baddie taking his afternoon nap. I shouted at him to wake him up. Didn't want to sneak up on him because being sneaky makes me nervous and when i'm nervous, i fart uncontrollably. Although my fart is not as stinky as normal people (because I'm 007 and it's awesome) I still do not enjoy farting in public.

We exchanged blows and I gave him a hard punch on his face which broke his lower jaw. After which, I delivered a shadowless flying kick and sent him flying out of the window. Having a license to kill, I'm not worried at all about baddie dying (after all, they always die at the end of the movie) but the ring that was still in his pocket. As I am, in nature, brave and heroic, I jumped right after him, caught hold of baddie, took the ring out of his pocket and put it in my pocket while we're falling down.

Now, don't worry, because I am 007 and I will never die. Somehow, I managed to catch hold of a pole stick out of the building while the baddie plunged to his death. I climbed in and realised that my long lost godsister, Michelle, had followed me to the construction site (cos' she was bleedin' in luv with me and was stalking me all this time) and had saved my life.

I gave Michelle a big hug and kissed her on the lips. We proceeded to make out on the dirty floor.

6.00pm
Home, in time for Simpsons. Bart Simpson is so farnie. Haha.

7.00pm
Had dinner with Michelle in my fabulous presidential suite.

9.00pm
We had sex everywhere. I am a sex-god because I am 007, which is also witty, sexy and bloody good-looking.

11.00pm
Knock on the door. It was baddie's girl. She wanted me so badly. Why wouldn't she? I'm strikingly handsome. So we had a three-some.

12.30am
Went to bed. Life is damn bloody good.

The end.

Has you seen the ad for mobtv?

If you haven't, let me help you visualize what it's like:

A girl in school uniform, looks very sad.

A stack of papers on the table shows that she has flunked her test: 49/100

She sits on a stool with a frown, either smsing or plucking out the petals of a flower (which goes to show she's having some BGR problems)

Then she sits in front of a monitor and starts smiling.

"Depressed?" "Now there is a reason to cheer up .... with mobtv, you can view any MediaCorp's TV programs for the past 14 days on your PC!" "MediaCorp Online Broadband Television"

Note: Those are not the exact words, but it's pretty much the gist.

Now, this implication of this ad is very subjective. It could mean:

1) You're depressed because you've flunked a test and got ditched, BUT since you can watch TV programmes on your PC, you should be happy!

2) You're depressed because you've flunked a test and got ditched, all BECAUSE you missed a particular episode of Star Idol. But now that you can watch TV programs that you have missed for the last 14 days, there is no reason to flunk your test and you can get hooked up anytime! So cheer up!

3) You're depressed because you've flunked a test and got ditched. Now, cheer up because life is not just about test failures and failed relationships. It's also about .... (get this) "watching TV programes you have missed for the last 14 days on YOUR PC!! HOW GREAT IS THAT?!"

****************

I don't know about you guys, but this ad sure stirred up a lot of enthusiasm in me.

Firstly, if I have flunked a test, the first thing that I want to do is to watch TV, which could be one of the reasons why I flunked in the first place. That's right, I want to re-watch all the exciting episodes of Campus SuperStar and Love Concierge (which is no longer showing by the way). Yeah right.

Secondly, if I've been ditched, being able to watch TV on my PC will most DEFINITELY cheer me up. Yes, my guy might have ditched me, but my PC hasn't! My PC (and MediaCorp) will stand by me throughout the years to come! How 'bout that?

Thirdly, thank you for an additional feature to advance my current myopia situation. Yes, I understand I am not spending enough time facing the dear monitor everyday. Instead of resting my eyes while I lay on a couch, I had better be on the edge of my computer chair watching TV programes on my PC. And get this, I get to watch the TV programes over the last 14 days!

If I'm a parent, I would be so excited by mobtv that whenever someone mentions mobtv in front of me, i would jump up from my seat yelling "Hooray!!"

Sure, I want my kid to flunk his/her test because of too much TV.

Sure, I want my kid to spend more time in front of the computer.

Sure, I want my kid to spend more of my money so that he/she can watch more TV programes.

Sure, I want my kid to spend more time in his/her own room so that I need not get to see his/her face when I come home from work.

Sure, I want my kid to watch more TV than he/she already does.

Sure, I want TV to be the source of happiness of my kid's life.

***********************************

Am I the only one who find the advertisement ridiculous???!!!!

What would you do?

This happened to a friend of mine. (seriously, it didn't happen to me, but to a friend).

My friend had a girlfriend whom he loved (pretty much, I think). But things ended somehow and he kept this teddy bear that she once gave to him. You know, for remembrance's sake. A year later, he started dating this other girl. As time passed by, she got increasingly psychotic and possessive and many a times, insanely and easily jealous of all girls he came into contact with. She was particularly upset with this friend of mine still keeping in touch with his ex, ignoring the fact that these two people had been buddies for a decade. One time, during one of her fits, she made him throw away the teddy bear that his ex gave him. He promised to throw it away but didn't. After all, it was a gift.

Some time passed, and during one unfortunate incident where this psychotic girl decided to go through my friend's stuff, found the teddy that my friend thought he had hidden well. Apparently, he wasn't good at hiding things. Anyway, she went into one of her fits again and started bawling and insisted that he threw the teddy bear down the rubbish chute. Right in front of her eyes.

As unreasonable as it seemed then, my friend did throw the bear away. Obviously, he was mad but he was at a loss upon seeing the tears flowing freely out of her burning eyes.

Now, I felt that he shouldn't have given in because:

1) She was being unreasonable
2) She would only make such irrational demands again
3) There was nothing going on between him and his ex anymore, and the gift just served as a momento
4) His ex, who was also his good friend, would be disappointed that her buddy had thrown away a gift from her

Had it been me, I would have slapped her right across the cheek and ..."SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!" But then again, I don't encourage the male species hitting girls, under any circumstances.

Just wanna share this story.

Now tell me, dear readers, what would you have done?

To the said friend: I'm not trying to make you feel bad. I'm juz looking for more options just in case such a situation ever comes up again. You know, for my other friends.

Don't be a thief

I never saw plagiarism as a big deal. When i was in poly, we never had to quote any source for the information we used (until the final year, when one of our lecturers made us do it). Information was free and we could use it in any way we want.

When I was went to Uni in aussie land, we were told on the first day that plagiarism is a very serious offence. You can get your ass seriously kicked. And by that, I mean you can get kicked out of your school. Now, I was thinking ... "What is the fucking big deal? It's not like my paper is ever gonna make it to the Australian Times or something." But I did my references properly anyway cos I really don't have that much of an ass for the kicking.

In my second semester, I did a paper on marketing for one of my electives. I spent days and nights (stopping only to bathe, pee, smoke, eat and sleep) to complete that paper. At the end of it, I was so proud of the finished product that I actually sent my paper for a review to my tutor. She confirmed that I was most likely to ace that paper. Which I did. In fact, I scored a whopping 95 out of 100, ranking 2nd in the entire cohort. Man, was i proud!

Anyway, after that, a schoolmate wanted to borrow my paper for reference when she had to take the same subject the next semester. I hesitated. I didn't know if this particular schoolmate would put her own effort into the paper or just steal all the goddamn brilliant ideas from mine. Which made me realised that plagiarism is not just something that is against the school rules. It's morally and ethically wrong to steal somebody's ideas and pass it off as yours. It's something equal to stealing. It's even worse when you score well or make shitloads of money from someone else's ideas.

One of my housemates actually almost got into knee-length shit one time because the school accused him of plagiarising. He didn't plagiarise but a fellow schoolmate had borrowed his assignment and ended up submitting a copy exactly like his own. Therefore, the school had no idea who the originator of the paper was. He and the other guy were let off with a warning and both of them had to re-do the paper.

Although the schoolmate was such a jerk, it was silly of my housemate to trust that guy who wasn't even a close friend, but just a fellow Singaporean.

What I'm saying is, don't steal other people's ideas, but likewise, don't allow other people to steal yours.

Oh, I did eventually lend my paper to my schoolmate but she didn't get to use it as a reference cos' her assignment topics were different from mine. Thank god.

Picture Purrfect

Many years ago, the Malaysian government banned the use of fireworks for any occassion. But it was still manufactured and sold (though on a low profile) for Chinese New Year. Using the cam from my V3 phone, I managed to take some pics for you people who have no idea what it's like to have fireworks soaring from your own garden.

Digression: I'm still waiting for someone to give me my digital cam leh! Otherwise, I would have been able to take better pics!

This is what fireworks look like when they're still lying down in your living room

This is what fireworks look like when they're fired up.

(okay, this is not a good pic. So gimme my digital cam, goddamnit)

Now, this is a slightly better pic

(And it's still not purrfect. Where is my digital cam?)

A close up

For those of you who are too dense to understand my subtle hints, this post is really about giving me a digital camera. So give me Give me a digital camera. Thanks very much in advance.

Note: If you would like to see nicer and personal pics of fireworks for CNY, pls refer to Kenny Sia's post.