Specially dedicated to Ah B**n

Just now, a friend was asking me for the address of my blogspot. As much as I wanted to tell him, I didn't dare to cos it meant I could no longer talk bad about him behind his back and it also meant he would know about my relatively dark history.

But being a soft person, i caved. So to make up for saying he's constantly horny and stuff like that, I would like to list down his positive attributes. (Gosh, now i have to rack my brains to turn all his character traits into good ones. This may take all night.)

All about Ah B**n 's good.....

1) He is good looking.

Actually he is juz not too bad looking, but everyone else i know says he is damn handsome, so I will take it that he is good looking. It doesn't matter that I think he looks like an over-baked fish cake.

2) He irks you without you hating him

Not many people can do that. And I muz say he is quite a master at it too. There were a few times when I wanted to give him a black eye from saying I have elephant legs or i'm fat. But I ended up doing nice things for him instead. So actually you can say he is a rather manipulative bitch (or I'm juz super sweet and nice). Oops, sorry, I'm supposed to compliment him. Erm, he is ..... such a nice person that you will luv him no matter how he irks you.

3) He is a gooood listener.

Most of his friends enjoy offloading their burdens, rubbish and shit on him. Because he would listen attentively. And advise. Altho' i suspect he actually enjoys listening to such shitz cos he is a born-gossiper. But hey, he's still a good listener okay?

4) He is a virgin.

I suspect (note: I'm only suspecting) that he's had a seemingly large number of sex partners and collection of blown-up dolls, but since he kept insisting that he has not had sex yet, so I will juz take it that he really is a 27-year-old virgin.

5) He is ... erm, not too tall

That's good cos i will look taller standing beside him.

6) He likes balls.

I meant football. You may ask, "Why is that positive?" To be frank, I don't know. im juz running out of things to say.

7) He is not very horny.

... not very horny as compared to other guys. I mean, he wanks only every other night, ok? erm ... this is supposed to be a secret. but what to do, I juz let the cat out of the bag. What's done cannot be undone.

Okay, since number 7 is his fav number, I shall stop here.

Note to Ah B**n: I've redeemed for my wrongdoings by listing your good traits, okie? Do remember to share your money with me. I'm always poor. And, you are, really a fantastic friend to have. *smiles sweetly*