Monday, April 03, 2006

Qing Ming
A story


A year ago ....

After a particularly satisfying supper, N drove me home. We were talking about horror stories on the way back. When he reached my block, I warned him not to go on as my family was away in another country for Qing Ming. Thus, I would be alone at home. Then N commented that he had not seen my home before and maybe he could come up since there was nobody in. I was fine with that, so I invited him up.

While at home, I gave him a brief tour, given that my house is relatively small with nothing much to "wooooh" or "aaahh" about. I expected him to leave after that, but he got himself settled comfortably in my room; he had positioned himself, on the bed leaning against the headboard. Now, I've had friends who ALWAYS made themselves very comfortable once they stepped foot in my room so I didn't mind N lying on the bed. After a while of talking, N said, "Eh, go bathe first leh... we can talk later." I was a little taken aback, yet pleasantly surprised, with what he said, as many thoughts shot through my mind. After all, I thought he had just wanted to see the house, and that was all. But of course, I have always enjoyed his company so I just went ahead with the shower (alone).

After the somewhat prompt shower, I went back into my room to find N lying on my bed, watching TV. I did find it slightly amusing that although this was the first time he was visiting my place, he had found no trouble at all in making himself comfortable. Then we started to chat about life, relationships, work and so on. I moved from the computer chair to the edge of the bed, to the middle of the bed right beside him.

It started to get colder (the air-conditioner was blasting), so I covered myself with the blanket from the waist down. As we continued chatting, I got more comfortable and soon, I found myself lying beside him. Sometimes, we would fidget and encounter a little bit of physical contact, like when our toes accidentally touched each other (under the blanket). Then we talked about the wine in my cupboard and N laughingly suggested opening it up and start drinking, even though the next day was a working day. I thought he was kidding.

We had a most pleasurable, heart-felt conversation. Things that were never discussed in front of others. Time flies when you're having fun, and before we knew it, it was already 4am. N decided that he should head home. So I sent him to the door, almost reluctantly. Even after he went off, we were still messaging each other on our mobiles. He mentioned about the wine again and was disappointed that I didn't open the bottle cos he was dying to drink. Talk about alcoholics. I told him I thought he was just kidding and if he wanted to, he could u-turn back. But by then, he had already reached home.

Me : So how?

N : No choice lor. Wait for next year's Qing Ming lor.

Me : hahah ....

The next day, I told M about what happened.

M : He went up to your place? So what happened?

Me : What do you mean what happened? Nothing happened.

M : Really? Wow, you are so strong. If it was me, I would have pounced on him! He is so yummy ....

Me : Heh. *pause* Maybe it was just well that we didn't drink.

One year has passed and it's Qing Ming again. No wonder I dreamt of him last night. Although there is no way we can ever fulfil what could have happened last year, the last Qing Ming is one I will never forget.

********************

I know it's inappropriate to be telling a story like this for Qing Ming. But this year's Qing Ming is the first time I ever have to visit a grave. So I'd really not talk about anything that reminds me of the life-altering incident last year.

Also, I'm sorry that there is no R-rated elements in this post, just in case some of you were misled in the beginning.

19 Comments:

Blogger Unknown said...

yarh lor. haiz. so disappointing. after all that 'leading-up', it ended normally. hee... :p

in any case, its rare to find good friends of the opposite sex and not have any other relationship involved. :)

Qing Ming is a time where we remember and respect those who have passed on. perhaps looking forward to meeting your relatives might take your mind off depressing thoughts. hope you're coping well. :)

8:24 AM  
Blogger Green Ogre said...

Sometimes, these bittersweet memories are the most poignant.

8:57 AM  
Blogger Adrenaline said...

ensui: if it ended in any way more than normal, you wouldn't be reading about it here. Heh.

i know what u're saying; difficult to find really platonic relationships nowadays.

ogre: bittersweet. a very appropriate word to describe this.

11:06 AM  
Blogger Zhe Bin said...

Ohhhhh. You like people to touch your toes huh. Kk. I see.

Anyway.. I have this really special friendship with this girl friend of mine. It's been.. 8 years already lah. We were once together before, but only lasted a day. Cos we felt that.. the special feeling between us was gone when we sort of 'got together'. It was really different. Then we realised that, we can only, and will only be v.v.v.good friends, like this platonic friendship you're talking about here lor. But we are so happy that nothing has ruined that. And glad that we're mature enough to erm.. control? I mean we don't want a friendship like that to come to an end lor.

Very hard to describe one right this type of feeling. It's like she can know all about me, my flaws etc. and me about her, but it is impossible for us to have romance. It is like, wah lao bo ko leng one lah. No sparks can come out of anything. Purely friendship. And we can be sososo open about anything.

However, good things don't last lah. We haven't been in much contact ever since sec sch ended. Actually it's kinda surprising that the few times we've met up and catch up, we've been like never been apart like that. Strange lah somethings.

I remember that my then gf and her then bf wouldn't know stuffs that I may know about her, or her about me. Knn like adultery like that but everything's just so natural lor. Hahaha. Er. Sorry for taking up so much space. I shall end my blabber. = D

10:58 PM  
Blogger Green Ogre said...

Zhebin- really interesting point. I can sort understand where you're coming from. Heh.

11:49 AM  
Blogger Adrenaline said...

bin: yah lor, very difficult to explain. And it's stupid, cos like u said, it feels like adultery but you know there is nothing going on.

but we need people like that in our lives. sometimes, their existence make life a little easier.

1:15 PM  
Blogger barneysaurus said...

You know, I was expecting a ghost story, like how he got possessed or something, keke....

Maybe your 'lost dog' will come looking for you this year, keke :)

4:59 PM  
Blogger Adrenaline said...

barney: please lah, u think 7th month issit? kaoz .... if my lost dog is indeed dead, and if he does come back looking for me, u can be sure i will bring him to you.

he is an extremely loyal, but not a very nice dog. ask ogre; he bit ogre before.

5:04 PM  
Blogger Zhe Bin said...

Did ogre touch your toes before?

11:34 PM  
Blogger Adrenaline said...

zhe bin: what a question! hahaha .... erm, i don't think so ... wat makes u ask that?

fyi, it's not that i like people to touch my toes lah. in this post, i was trying to illustrate the little bit of physical contact that we had. and it was that little.

10:13 AM  
Blogger Green Ogre said...

Bin- I touched the toes of her dog instead and that's why it bit me. It's a homicidal homophobic brown piece of moving carpet that grabbed my socks when I was visiting and refused to return it until I touched it's toes. Then it had to bite me and naturally dropped the sock! I quite smart right? This is ku rou ji!

10:51 AM  
Blogger Adrenaline said...

ogre: hahaha!! oh please!! My then dog bit u becos u were sitting on top of the carpet where he had hidden a piece of biscuit. By growling, he was actually warning you but you dum-dum thot he looked so cute growling under the table and u tried to stroke his head. hahahah .... i still can't believe u didn't see the signs. hahah ...

and he got bite ur socks meh?? haha ... but then, he used to bite all our socks so i was kinda used to it.

5:19 PM  
Blogger Zhe Bin said...

Haha of cos I know you don't particularly like people to touch your toes or what. I just want to make it up. ; D

Ogre, then did you want to drink the wine in her cupboard? ^^

Anyway that dog went missing?

11:28 AM  
Blogger Adrenaline said...

zhebin: dunno im lost or u lost.

The time when ogre got bitten, i still hadn't gotten the wine in my cupboard yet. so that means i wasn't referring to ogre as N in this post.

Yes, that dog went missing after that. and now i've got another one who has a complete opposite personality of the last one.

1:15 PM  
Blogger Zhe Bin said...

Hahaha nonono nobody's lost, man. I am just conjuring up stories. Hahaha. Eh then what about the missing dog? How did he go missing?

2:39 AM  
Blogger Green Ogre said...

Haha Zhebin is really good at being annoying. I am so loving it. Yes, do go on Adrenaline, tell us how your dog went missing. Oh, you might as well add how you got your new dog as well. Did he touch your toes? :P

9:43 AM  
Blogger Zhe Bin said...

Oh keep going greenie! = D

11:47 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ooohhhh...... So Ogre's the guy?? Hahahahaha.... I like this Zhe Bin guy, or gal. Haha.. Interesting pple we have here. Nice reading Adrenaline. Keep it up. Can u use signs like !@##@!$ instead of alphabets?

@!#$%#@

5:40 AM  
Blogger Adrenaline said...

anonymous: Nope, it wasn't ogre. it was someone else.

symbols remind me of vulgarities or strong emotions, so nope, will stick to alphabet for the time being.

3:28 PM  

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