Some years ago, I got to know a guy, L, from the internet (yeap, the IRC thingy). We went on to become good friends who became each other's confidant. He was one of those few that I could hang out with, and feel comfortable even when we were both silent. I was still attached with my then boyfriend, but both L and I knew that there was chemistry between us. We both knew something was going on but refused to say a word about it. We juz acted like it really was juz a platonic relationship and there was nothing else. The only time we had contact was once, we were comparing the size of our hands by placing our palms together and he tried to interlock his fingers with mine. I quickly pulled away.

Some time later, L dropped the bombshell: He had to leave for Aussie to study architecture for 5 years. It hurt very much. Very, very much. I burst out in tears when I pulled myself away from the hug I was giving him at the airport. We promised to keep in touch, but five years is a very long time and altho' i still remember him, I doubt im very much on his mind.

Anyway, the reason why I told the above story is because a friend just confirmed that he would be leaving for a work posting overseas soon. He had accepted the offer and nothing, not even his beloved gf, is gonna stop him from leaving. I don't know why, but I felt the exact same pain like when L said he was leaving. I felt even more pain when i found out that he had done something else that I would not state here.

I am confused and upset. I need an ear, and someone to throw some light on why I'm feeling this way.