Origin of the Chinese Horoscope

I came across this story when I was very young and gullible. But it makes a little bit of sense if you think about it.

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Long long time ago, there was a Cat and a Rat who were great friends. They would go camping and travel around the country together. They shared food and saw each other everyday. Those were the days when there was only one of each animal.

One day, the animal God called for an animal conference.

"I have decided to hold a cross country race. (Because I am very bored with chasing butterflies all day). You will all have to run along the tracks as indicated and will have to cross a river (whereby you may drown in the event of doing so) to reach the final destination. The first twelve animals that reaches the finishing point will have a year alloted to their kind."

Now, all the animals were very excited. Including the Dragon. In fact, the Dragon was so excited that he couldn't control the flames coming out of his mouth and he had accidentally (as what he called it) lit the Lion's mane on fire. Cat and Rat were ecstatic at this event of the year.

Note: Although these animals and gods had lived in a perfect world then, bear in mind that a world without vice is very boring. Which was the reason why they were thrilled about the race.

On the day of the race, the excitement was hard to conceal. Mr Ox had been practising by working in the fields before day break. Miss Monkey ate too many bananas and had to swing from tree to tree looking for new places to clean her bowels. The Donkey, who travelled all the way from the other end of the earth to reach here, was utterly exhausted. He could have hitched a ride from the Dragon, who was gay and interested in him, but refused as he had "dignity" (yeah, right). On the way, he even tripped over some rocks and fell into a muddy pond. What ass luck. In fact, he was so muddy that he was initially being mistaken as the Pig.

The Lion was missing though. His mane was still badly damaged by the burn from the Dragon and being very, very vain, he refused to be seen in public with damaged mane.

Cat and Rat were well prepared for the race. They watched their diet, jogged two hours everyday, and slept early. And with Lion out of the race, they were both confident that they can win the race.

The horn sounded. All animals rushed forward.

Initially, all animals were very fast and it was unable to determine who would be the first to finish.

Then, there was a bolt of lightning from the sky.

"DRRRAAAGGGGOOOONNNN!!!! What the hell are you doing here?! Northeast needs water! You must go and give rain now!!!!!"

Note: Long time ago, before evaporation and condensation was termed, it was believed that dragons give rain to the world.

Reluctant, yet tied down by his sense of responsibility, the Dragon turned back and went off to complete his mission.

Before half the journey, the Donkey decided to give up. He was too tired.

The Bear saw a beehive along the way, and was distracted. He decided that honey was more important.

The Pig was missing. Being very smart, he had actually found another way to the final point, without crossing the river. He deviated from the original route to continue the race from the shortcut.

The Tiger lost concentration and went to catch butterflies instead. And in the process, trampled the Lizard to death. Which was fine, since everybody hates lizards.

The Rooster flapped its wings and managed to outrun some of the animals. Which made him really cocky.

The Horse and the Goat were happily chatting along the way. They had no desire to make it as the first twelve and joined the race for the sake of the free gift and buffet dinner at the end of the race.

The Deer was shot by a hunter on the way. Too bad.

When the animals came to the river, they all stopped. The river was filthy and covered with the trash from last week's party. Furthermore, it was freezing cold (as warned by the Fish, who couldn't take part in the race).

The Snake, paused for a while, and just slided into the river. As we all know, snakes are cold-blooded and they can always shed their skin to get rid of the dirt.

The Ox, not intending to lose out, jumped into the river, right after the snake.

Now, the Cat and the Rat were very smart too. They jumped onto the back of the Ox, which was the only part above the river.

The Hare, had built a little boat for himself, and was happily crossing the river slowly, while reading Playboy (okay, so they had ONE vice).

The Dog wanted to share the boat (and the Playboy) but was rejected by the Hare. So he had no choice but to swim.

Now, the Monkey and the Rooster can't swim, so they bribed the Horse and the Goat (with their share of the free gift) into helping them to cross the river. Everybody loves free gifts, so the Horse and the Goat obliged.

As the Ox was very well-trained and had a lot more stamina than the rest, he was right ahead. Now, the Rat was thinking ...

"Once we get to the other side, Cat will definitely beat me to it. He is taller and bigger, and can run much faster than me. I want to win. And the only way that can happen is if Cat is not in this race."

Very scheming indeed.

The Cat was thinking .....

"Yaaay ... fooooood ......."

A huge splash followed, and the Rat had pushed his best friend, Cat, into the river. Now, cats can't swim, and not surprisingly, he drowned.

This is why, cats hate rats. Now, they catch rats and mice for the sake of killing them, but not for food.

Back to the race, the Ox reached the edge of the river and the Rat jumped over the Ox's head and touched down first. The Rat had won. He was the first animal in the Chinese Zodiac. Followed closely by the Ox.

The Tiger, who could swim very well, caught up with the rest and came in third.

The Hare, whose nice little boat, did not capsize, came in after the Tiger. The Tiger, who was, by then, very hungry, wanted to eat the Hare. But the Hare offered his Playboy in return for his life.

The Dragon, was supposed to miss the race. But dragons can fly! So he flew to give rain, and flew back. And because he didn't have to swim, he touched down after the Hare. Though he was pissed that he did not beat the Tiger to the Playboy.

The Snake should have been in real quick but the cold was making him lethargic. The cold river reminded him of winter and he almost dozed off a couple of times while making his way across the river. But with perseverance and determination, he managed to make it across the river. He came in sixth.

Next came the Horse, who galloped his way through the river. (Don't ask me how he did that; he just did). The Goat made it right after the Horse.

When they reached the finishing point, the Monkey jumped off the Horse's back immediately. He had came in nineth. The Rooster, who wanted a graceful descend, was flapping his wings gently as he jumped off the Goat's back. Alas! He slipped when he landed and had to nurse a broken wing. The fall resulted in a permanent damage where he could no longer fly high or too long a distance.

The Bear actually caught up with the rest. But once again, he was distracted. This time, by the fish in the river. And he went diving deep in to get the juicest fish.

The Dog came in only an hour after the rest. Dogs are diligent, but the "doggie-paddle" was way too slow to catch up with the rest.

Now, we expected the Pig to come in first, as he had a shortcut. But being very lazy, he had taken a nap along the way, missed all the mud fun, and came in last. But he was glad that the buffet was refillable.

Once the Pig arrived, the award ceremony took place. The Rat, being the champion, was asked to give a speech. So he went on to give a speech about thanking his best friend, who had encouraged him not to give up when he was exhausted, and how his friend had unfortunately perished in the race.

How deceitful.
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Thank you for reading up till this point. Of course, I spiced up the story a little, but the story of the Cat and Rat is supposedly true according to the book I read).

But I guess the reason why the Lion didn't participate was not because of the burnt mane, but due to the fact that he couldn't swim.