Friday, November 25, 2005

Past Life (part 2)

I have been rather free in the office these days. Partly because the bulk of our core business is not in yet, so in between each job, I do have some part time to spare (for blogging and reading blogs).

Each blog I go to has its own style and each blogger's writing manner is rather distinctive. I can almost imagine what the bloggers look like. So for this entry, I would like to talk a little abt each blog that I kinda frequent and perhaps their past life.


Barneysaurus
(Barney: U know u'll be the first on my list when I want to shit on someone's head)

Traits : Likes to portray himself as a happy purple dino and aims to entertain little children. But unknown to him, he's positioned himself (to some gals out there) as a S.N.A.G. Readers of his previous blogs all thought of him as such a sensitive, nice guy with a great body since he always attempts to jog. Haiz. I pity all those who were sadly mislead by this evil animal. Often enough, I pity myself for knowing this animal personally. Imagine all the lame jokes and annoying conversations I have to go through.

Past life : Since Barney can't stress enough his colour, I'm guessing he was significantly short-changed of purple in his past life. We know the opposite of purple is green so Barney must been something green and irritating. Therefore, I conclude that Barney was a patch of algae in a very dirty toilet. Ain't algae green, gross and extremely irritating to clean (when they grow in your toilet)? There, you have it.


See? Algae is gross and irritating


Green Ogre

Traits : Sometimes angry, sometimes moody, sometimes melancholic. Gets excited by things that doesn't excite other people. His blog is of a rather different tune compared to conventional blogs and appeals to readers who are possibly as weird as him. But he is straightforward and honest and portrays himself as the bastard that he is. Something that, oddly, earns my respect. If you follow ogre's blog, you would know that he is very sexually driven and more often or not, deprived of sex.

Past life : Given how angry sometimes this ogre can be, I'm guessing he must have been pissed off pretty often. Which is why I think he was a toilet bowl in a male public toilet in China. Imagine getting sat on by the male population and having to face all kinds of shit in life (literally). On good days, the "customers" flush away their by-products. On bad days, the entire bowl is so filled with shit that it becomes almost impossible to flush. (I suspect that it's the ogre's way of rebelling when the flush malfunctioned). So dear all, take pity on him. He's after all, had a bad past life.

(Also, I also suspect that orgre and Barney knew each other in their past lives given where they came from).

Ogre on good days


Kenny Sia

Traits : I have been reading Kenny's blog more often and been visiting his archive. Very humourous and entertaining. His most distinctive feature though, is always taking photos with babes. Many of his blogs feature himself with girls, and more often or not, you'll see his hand over their shoulder(s). *lifts and eyebrow*. But his doing so just made him the public hated person by the male population in general. Also, Kenny features a lot of himself with very funny, odd, geeky and gross pictures.

Past life : Given how Kenny is often surrounded by gorgeous babes, I suspect that he was a gorgeous babe himself. But with the kind of sex drive that he possesses, he's likely to have been a babe with male hormones. So in short, he was a tranvestite.

Beautiful Kenny

The Big Fuck, now known as Rambo Tan

Traits : When he was The Big Fuck, he was constantly angry, often restless and rather sexually driven. But his entries were straightforward, direct and honest. Cos he was always scolding something or someone. Now as Rambo, his entries have somewhat mellowed down and he is not as angry anymore. It's better for his mental health, I guess.

Past Life : If not for the fact that he is no longer as angry, I am tempted to say that he had been a twin brother of green ogre in his past life. But after my analysis, given his excessive need to get into the pants of girls, I conclude that he was a laced panty of some random girl. Yeah, he juz can't get enough.

white undies Rambo


Timsum

Traits : Random ramblings of his life - like a live journal. Timsum depicts himself as a goofy guy and do occassionally, find himself in comical situations. Absolutely crazy about balls (soccer) and utterly lazy (why: because he has not updated for more than a month). Likes to show off his phone by posting a lot of pics taken from his phone and is totally nuts about Fiona Xie.

Past Life : The name for this blog probably drives from a) his lack of dim sum because he came from a poor family (past life), b) he wanted to be a piece of dim sum to be enjoyed by all but he couldn't. So I'm guess Timsum was actually chilli sauce. Yeap, he could only be the side dish and not the main dish.

Tim, the chilli

Actually, I visit a lot more blogs everyday, but due to time constraints, i shall stop here. Will continue next time.

3 Comments:

Blogger Green Ogre said...

Hahaha, my blog didn't exactly earn a rave review. Though it sures stacks up better than Barney's. Grins.

And ogres are supposed to be nasty and angry. What kind of self-respecting ogre isn't easily annoyed? And I am not merely driven by sex! At least not as much as before.

It's also really ironic that I like Andy Lau's MA TONG song. Hahaha.

6:59 PM  
Blogger barneysaurus said...

Here I am trying to make kids around the world happy, and you have to compare me to a piece of algae. Wait I quit showbiz and you all cry then know ah :D!

You left cheeky out from your list sia ;)

7:06 PM  
Blogger Adrenaline said...

ogre: i didnt say u are merely driven by sex. Was very careful abt that.

barney: of cos i will cry when u quit showbiz. From happiness.

wanted to write a lot more but i realised i was doing overtime in office liao. haha ....

10:09 AM  

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