Oh Big Brother ...

For the benefit of you guys who have no idea what “Big Brother” is, it’s a reality show whereby this so called “Big Brother” guy would select a group of guys and gals in a country, confine them in a villa or bungalow or juz some place, called the “Big Brother’s House”, and the chosen ones would live together for a while. There are cameras all over the place, including the bathrooms, so you would get to see what all of them are doing 24 hours a day. The audience gets to vote out those people that they like least and the final person that gets to stay inside the house wins a huge sum of money.

Now the juicy part of this show is people who bothered to sign up for such a show are either:

1) dying to become famous
2) dying to lay or get laid in front of the national TV
3) juz there for the free sex, lodging and food

So you can imagine the kind of scenes you get on TV. Sometimes, you would see the TV playing “Big Brother – Uncut” and you would get scenes of the gals bathing, how the horny guy snug up to the horny girl’s bed and how they hid under the blanket the whole night. Yes, it sounds like a real entertaining show. And it supposedly is.

In a particular European Country:

There was a guy (let’s call him XXX) who was called up to Big Brother’s room and Big Bro asked him the reason for his sudden outburst at the rest and all. XXX got agitated and started swearing like crazy and even threatened to break down the glass pane that was separating Big Bro and himself.

Big Bro : XXX, why did you try to hit Yy?

XXX : Cos I ain’t no fucking liking him. That lousy shit.

Big Bro : Still, that doesn’t give you the right to beat someone up.

XXX : You shut up the fuck up! You have no fucking right to tell me what the fuck I am supposed and not supposed to fucking do! You want a piece of me? You bring your lousy pussy out of that fucking room and we’ll trash it out!

*XXX attempted to break down the glass panel*

XXX : Come out, you fucking pussy!

Big Bro : *must have been shivering like a little kitten* Calm down, XXX. You gotta calm down. Grab a hold of yourself.

XXX : You’re not the one who has to show your lousy ass to the goddamn camera everyday! You don’t have to bloody show the rest of the world what the fuck you’re eating for lunch, that mole you have on your fuckin’ lousy arse and feeling all the pressure of having fucking audience to vote you out if they don’t fucking like you. Well, fuck you all! Fuck you!

*XXX breaks down, crying*

XXX : I can’t take it anymore …..


Surprisingly, XXX became suddenly very popular after his outburst at Big Bro and he won the show that year.

If I don’t remember wrongly, in Germany, there was a scene where an orgy was going on. It would have been a real turn-on if the people involved were better looking.

Brazil had the best Big Brother. The selected few were kept in a villa and everyday, the gorgeous hunks and the babes would hang out in the pool. The babes were so delicious that I almost drooled. There were lots of hot scenes of flirting in the pool, behind the bush, in the toilets, etc. The most amazing part: There was no sex. Everybody controlled their twitching sex organs and there was no ejaculation whatsoever. Reason being Brazil is a Catholic country and the last thing these people want is to have themselves condemned in their families and churches for having pre-marital sex on national TV. I applaud these people for their amazing ability in keeping their g-strings or thongs on.

Once, a friend was feeling envious that I was living in Australia for a while cos I get to watch “Big Brother” live and not on the internet. For the record, I have to emphasize that Aussie’s “Big Brother” is damn boring. Being a nation of hedonists, they enjoy doing nothing but juz baked themselves dry in the sun while drinking beer and talking the whole damn day. And did I mention that some of the Aussies who went on Big Brother were really fat? I was in Aussie for two seasons of Big Brother, but I managed to catch only a few episodes of it. And those episodes were the uncut versions, which had disappointed me greatly. I had expected more daring and juicy action from them but all I saw was either lots of French kissing only or juz people nestling under the blanket as they rolled over each other. The one scene that grossed me out the most was this particular guy who was soaking himself in the pool with this really huge and fat gal. Fyi, this fat gal looked like she had juz eaten her entire family. Yes, she was that fat.

Skinny but horny guy: *mumbling something*

Fat Gal : *giggles* …..

Horny Guy: *giggles back*

*silence*

Horny Guy : You know, I really like your breasts.

Fuggin’ horny guy was obviously oblivious to the rest of the stuff around the breasts.

Fat Gal : Really? You do? This one? *And she grabbed her right boob*

Ewww …. That was really gross.

Guy : *Getting excited* Yeah … I think you look real sexy.

What the ….?!?!?!?!?

Fat Gal : aw … You’re really sweet, you know that? Well, I feel really sexy too … *And she started to shake her lousy fat butt at the guy*

You fuggin’ disgusting assholes. I’m turning the TV off.

And I did. And that was the last time I watched “Big Brother”.