The One About Skirmish

Warning: Revolting pics enclosed.

A few years back, I was introduced to the wonderful activity of “Paintball” where it was held at Orchid Country Club (OCC). If you’ve played before, you would know that:

1) Paintball can be extremely fun
2) It can also be extremely painful
3) It creates splendid opportunities for you to get back at the asshole that has been ogling at your girlfriend’s breasts.
4) It’s a very dirty game where you may end up covered in mud or swallowing part of the paint even with the smelly mask on
5) For the girls, this may be the only time when you will experience what running with a gun is like

Now, the rule of the game is to attack only the opposite team and you’re not allowed to shoot at your own team members. But of course, accidents do happen. Anyway, in OCC, a barrier consisting of 2 ropes is put up in the middle of the field and both teams are not allowed to cross the barrier. Which means that the closest you can get to is at least 7 metres to your enemy.

Even at this range, when hit by a “bullet” (the paintball), the pain can be excruciating. You will, without a doubt, end up with marble-sized bruises even in the most protected area of your body.

So the first time I played, a friend of mine lent me his “Army Number 4” uniform to minimize my chances of being bruised. Obviously, it helped but not much. I went home with bruises on my thighs, arms and butt.

But I decided to play a second time as I felt that I was more ready this time and would be a much better position to bruise other people who hadn’t played before. *Evil Grin* For all you smart alecks out there who thought that I would go home with more bruises this time, you are wrong. I went home with no injury whatsoever even though I had a pretty ungraceful fall during the game. But, I had no bruises on me. HEH HEH. Ain’t I brilliant?

Which is why, I was ecstatic and overly excited the third time I was to play Paintball. This time, it was in Australia. Instead of Paintball, they call it Skirmish. As I was already suffering from insomnia then, I couldn’t sleep the night before and ended up looking like a zombie drug addict when we got to the playing field. But it was not like the game at home:

1) Instead of a single field, there were 7 fields to play in. And all 7 were made up of different terrains
2) There was no barrier separating the teams and you could shoot your enemy (or teammate) right in his face (or his groin). The administrator warned that if a bullet hit you within 5 metres, your skin would tear immediately. What better way to do damage to that bitch you’ve always hated?
3) They offered army-liked uniforms for all participants to change into. The girls got an extra chest plate (It’s like an extra shield to protect the oh-so-tender breasts). But I was unlucky enough not to get one cos I was the last on the queue (due to a bad bladder situation) and they had run out of chest plates. Fug.
4) You could even purchase grenades made up of paint and such to attack your enemies. But those were way too expensive and being students, we couldn’t afford it.

The only thing that was similar to the game played at home (apart from the gun and bullets) was you can still surrender by placing your gun above your head. Which of course, it would still be up to your enemy to decide if they want to shoot you in your face.

The two teams involved happened to be us Singaporeans vs The Malaysians. Now, having gone through army and stuff like that, our dear Singaporean boys were naturally more conceited and arrogant. But I don’t blame them for their bigheadedness cos we won all the games in all the fields and I do enjoy being part of a winning team. *proud grin*

The only unfortunate event that happened was me being shot.

I was hiding behind a big tree with Mr Boyfriend (who took up a fair bit of the space) while firing at the enemy. One of our enemies snug up on us and even though I fired right at him, he didn’t back off. As he came closer by the second, I panicked and tried to flee while attempting to raise my gun (Yes, I was a wuss and I still feel bad about it). But, the enemy appeared not to have seen my gesture for surrender and fired a shot right at me after he came round the tree.

All of a sudden, I couldn’t think and could only clutch my left arm tightly. At the same time, all sorts of vulgarities just came spouting out of my mouth even without me knowing (Okay, maybe I knew but I juz needed to show how pissed I was). I was exploding like a suppressed maniac who had not been allowed to swear for decades. Then, I heard a voice in my head.

“ …. Remember, if you’re hit within 5 metres, your skin will tear immediately….”

So what happens when you’re hit juz 1 metre away?

You end up with :

1) A pingpong sized bruise on the first day
2) That is blue, green, maroon and yellow in colour and it’s a little bloody
3) A purplish bruise that stretches from the shoulder to the elbow for the next 3 days
4) A scar that stays with you for at least 2 years.

It looked something like that except my bruise was more colourful

Anyway, the guy who shot me felt really bad about what he did that he kept apologizing even though I was swearing at him. As the game was still going on (thus, bullets flying everywhere), he (the enemy) tried to prevent me from getting more shots by using his body to shield me from the bullets.

Aww … that was so sweet. I almost felt bad then, for swearing at him.

Just for your info, Mr Boyfriend had no idea who happened because he was juz so engrossed in the game. Damn.

Despite being injured, I persevered and continued to battle until we had covered all the fields. That was about a good 4 to 5 hours later. By then, I was utterly worn out. And hungry.

Still, that really was an amazing experience and the most enjoyable game I had ever played.

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After the game, my friends who knew I didn’t sleep the night before, insisted on keeping me awake with mahjong as they felt that sleeping in the afternoon would only worsen my insomnia. I think that was juz an excuse for them to come over to my home for mahjong since my home was the only place where a mahjong set and table were available. I was kept awake until 11pm that night. Which meant that I had not slept for 40 hours. Looking back, I still don’t know how I managed to survive.