Fat People can't find Love
Look around and you'll realize that those people who are attached are usually not fat. Particularly girls.
They could be more well-endowed, possess child-bearing hips, or just come with elephant legs. But they do not fall into "FAT" category. They have problem areas but they're not a problem as a whole. "Fat" people are those who are look round, or huge and you can spot their body shape from far.
We have no problems befriending fat people, but we won't consider them as potential partners. Most people would rather date ugly-looking people than to date fat people. That is, if they have a choice.
Unfortunately, because of this, a lot of people are still single; the fat guys are still looking for slim girls and no guys want to pick up the fat girls. And it's harder for the girls, because while the girls don't mind considering fat guys, most guys will not consider fat girls. Never mind the fact that they can possess absolutely wonderful personalities.
I happen to know a number of girls who are still single. Most of them are nice, caring and would make fantastic girlfriends. But they're all single because they belong to the "fat" category. Some are not even fat; they're plump, and they're not less healthy than the average person. I have seen some of my attached girlfriends behaving in the most unreasonable manner and I do sometimes wonder why their boyfriends don't go find another girlfriend. But it's the most demanding slim girls that somehow keep their guy.
It's been a misconception that thin equals beautiful. A guy I used to date once pointed out a girl in public to me that, that was his idea of an ideal figure. She didn't have any curves, possess a washboard chest and chopstick legs. But the fact that she wasn't fat was what he was looking for. Of course, most guys wouldn't mind dating a girl with flesh in the right places (and perhaps a couple of wrong places) but they wouldn't date one with flesh in ALL the places.
Now, I know the superficial people out there would come contesting what I'm saying and blah blah blah. I don't give a shit. You're superficial and you just won't admit it.
But to those guys still single, maybe it's time you look again.There are really still a lot of nice, single girls out there. And before you start criticizing or finding fault with how the "fat" girls look, you'd better take a look of yourself in the mirror first. You may not be fat, but you can still look like shit. However, if you possess a generally pleasant personality, then I guess you would deserve to be with one of those we-may-not-deem-as-slim but are nice and good natured girls.
We have no problems befriending fat people, but we won't consider them as potential partners. Most people would rather date ugly-looking people than to date fat people. That is, if they have a choice.
Unfortunately, because of this, a lot of people are still single; the fat guys are still looking for slim girls and no guys want to pick up the fat girls. And it's harder for the girls, because while the girls don't mind considering fat guys, most guys will not consider fat girls. Never mind the fact that they can possess absolutely wonderful personalities.
I happen to know a number of girls who are still single. Most of them are nice, caring and would make fantastic girlfriends. But they're all single because they belong to the "fat" category. Some are not even fat; they're plump, and they're not less healthy than the average person. I have seen some of my attached girlfriends behaving in the most unreasonable manner and I do sometimes wonder why their boyfriends don't go find another girlfriend. But it's the most demanding slim girls that somehow keep their guy.
It's been a misconception that thin equals beautiful. A guy I used to date once pointed out a girl in public to me that, that was his idea of an ideal figure. She didn't have any curves, possess a washboard chest and chopstick legs. But the fact that she wasn't fat was what he was looking for. Of course, most guys wouldn't mind dating a girl with flesh in the right places (and perhaps a couple of wrong places) but they wouldn't date one with flesh in ALL the places.
Now, I know the superficial people out there would come contesting what I'm saying and blah blah blah. I don't give a shit. You're superficial and you just won't admit it.
But to those guys still single, maybe it's time you look again.There are really still a lot of nice, single girls out there. And before you start criticizing or finding fault with how the "fat" girls look, you'd better take a look of yourself in the mirror first. You may not be fat, but you can still look like shit. However, if you possess a generally pleasant personality, then I guess you would deserve to be with one of those we-may-not-deem-as-slim but are nice and good natured girls.
posted by Adrenaline at 5:12 PM
27 Comments:
:D
No leh, I am sibeh un-fat and I am single too :(
what about the disabled?
Tommy's comments rock. It's funny. And a good hard question.
On being superficial, i guess I would have to be the first to admit to that. But really, people have to ask themselves something. Can you wake up to seeing the person everyday if you're not attracted to them? If you don't like fat, you don't like fat.
There are fat people who are comfortable with themselves. They deserve to be with someone who truly appreciates their other qualities or has some strange fetish.
Otherwise, they can do something about their unhappy situation by losing weight. Seriously, even models have to work hard at being skinny. i would die if i had to follow the diets and exercise regimes that they discipline themselves to undergo.
Besides, when you're single, you're on the shelf and looking for takers and taking. People don't dress like shit and head to discos or pubs right? (Not if they want to score.) You may look like shit but you're still dressed like gold. So if you want to look pretty and get picked up, you have to do something.
However, for serious relationships to unfold, it may not be just the first impressions. For lasting love, the second, third or umpteenth impression could be the catalyst. I guess that's where the ugly people have a better hand. That's where personality shines through after the initial preoccupation with looks have faded. If you see flowers everyday, you'll also get bored of flowers. It's like how I think gynaes can't even be bothered with porn. It's boring.
Character and personality is not something you get bored of easily. Because personality change, and reacts to you. Engages you mentally and emotionally. It's more interactive than just a body. Which more often than not is just a catalyst for physical interaction.
It would rock to be this slim, pretty thing with a Phd in Molecular Biology, and whi can have a discourse on the founding of Technotitlan (The capital of the Mexica/Aztecs). That would be so perfect. Her problem would be guys would never ever ask her out, figuring that:
A) She must be attached. And attached to some guy who's smarter than Stephen Hawkings, has karates moves that make Steven Seagal loko wimpy and whose smouldering glance makes other girls go weak in the knees. Better to play in your own League. Otherwise, you end up like Crystal Palace playing Liverpool. Sure lose one.
B) If she isn't attached, something must be wrong with her. Maybe she's a psycho or a potential serial killer. She might have artificial legs. Plastic surgery girl. Or maybe she's a transvestite. You never know this days.
C) She's so hot that she must be a receptacle of every STD known to man. (Just an excuse to cover up the man's fear of rejection and failure)
D) She's a lesbian. And we all know how hot those passive lesbians can get.
E) She is just plain too good to be true for me. She will dump me with abroken heart at some point in the future. So I'll save myself the heartbreak.
Each works in its own way.
So the pretty, slim girls are better at chua dai di, where you play with what you're given.
But the ugly ones, they are better with mahjong where you cultivate a winning hand.
Wah, I must say that I damn like that analogy. I shall post it in my blog!
I just hope your friend(s) can find their ru yi lang jun soon, but with no rush at all.
green ogre, you are bloody good man! what you do for a living one sia? Can analyze till so power.
:D
This is related to your previous post on how much do looks matter.
Honestly, i don't mind dating a plump (hokkien equivalent of bak bak >.<) girl. Probably because i perceive myself as plump too. :p
As long as they look healthy, i don't have issues dating them. >.<
but sbs, you have always prefer Nerd. It was your fault that you rejected Nerd so badly (because you werent sure of your feeling) that he turns to KFC girl for solace.
personally, i do confess that i do also have weakness for eye-candies. and boy, are they hot! but ultimately, i really, really need to know the answer for this most important and earth-shattering question:
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can she cook???:)~~~~~~~~~~~
Tommy- I spend the day strutting around, believing that one day I will take over the world, becoming the most powerful person ever in history, and lead humanity to a brighter future. The rest of the time I just do my work and earn a living. :P
I know that doesn't help answer your question.
I basically sell collectible items to a small niche market. :)
HAaha.. i hope the world will be a better place with you in control.
Huat chye to your business!
well, i think even after 2 years of relationship, and i think it's serious, my EX-boyfriend tells me that i should lose some weight when i am thinner than i was when i started dating him, that guys really need to be brain washed properly.
before you pick on others, look at yourself.
I may not have the figure you want, but i have the brains. You can't have everything and God is fair.
sian: becos u are sibeh un-handsome.
ogre: on wat u said in the first paragraph, this is exactly wat im saying. That the most of the male population, whether slim or fat, handsome or ugly, will choose to go for the slimmer one, if they have a choice.
And all those stuff u said abt dressing up no longer count becos like u said, if u dont like fat, u don't like fat. And u have to agree that it's true to certain extent that once u're no longer attracted to that person on first impression, chances are u won't wanna give that person a second chance.
C'mon, you wouldn't be thinking, "She's fat, and although i hate fat people, i think i should give ourselves a chance to know each other better." Yeah right.
And your gambling theories doesn't work in real life. You see 2 girls, one with a very slim body (and chopstick legs, the way you like it), and another who is plump (but categorized as fat in your mind), and you're telling me that you would rather spend effort with the plump one to discover the gold in her than to spend effort on the slim one? Don't kid yourself.
If your wife is 2 times her size when you met her, would you have asked her on a second date?
zhebin: thanks for the well wishes, but very hard lah.
ensui: eh ... i don't know how much i believe you. muahahaha ... kiddin'. i do believe u =)
imnothere: eh! your point is totally out of point here lah.
tommy: u wouldn't want ogre to control the world. really.
jessica: Yeap!! went through the same thing ... so i totally understand how you feel.
I totally agree with what you said. I had this friend who talked behind my back (and I happened to hear what he said) that I can be a good friend but never a good gf cos I'm fat. How hurting =(
It's not a fair world. On the bright side, the poor people and those with countries at war, have got more problems than fat Singaporeans. They wanted to trade places with some Chechnyan Muslim or an Iraqi?
There will be problems with life no matter what. Instead of lamenting how people don't givethem a chance, they could try doing something about it. Like developing a really sparkling personailty. Then people will want to be your friend, eventually they can get to know you better and may even get to love you. If they don't, well you shouldn't have anything to do with them anyway.
And there are those who like fat people, like in the days of the Tang Dyansty. Just less of these people now. Due to popular culture I guess.
I guess I'm one of those arseholes that aren't very sympathetic. The root of all this prejudice could be due to society or culture.
Eventually, the fat people have to live with it, or try to lose weight. It's like racism and elitism. Only I think it's easier to lose weight than for a Negro to pass off as Anglo Saxon. Or for those in poverty to try and compete with those in the Fortune 500.
And I know it's sad. But the stupid and beautiful have an easier time of it when we should really be tough on them too. It's like being born smart. I have to add, however, that with some weight loss, some of these girls turn out to absolute stunners. And guys wil be banging their heads in disbelief or regret.
And so these fat people are disadvantaged. Like the handicapped, amputees, austitics and others on the margins of society.
I'm not trying to be flippant, but why not take up the cudgel for them? I wouldn't hire them but would that make me a bad person?
Someone who doesn't date fat is bad. And so the fat must be good?
Pronouncing a moral judgement on this, is in my opinion, a tricky matter.
These non fat liking people are shallow, I agree with that. They make the fat ones' (love) life harder, since they can reasonably be assumed to constitute a majority. So sue them. Would liking fat people make things right? Then the skinny people, as well as those afflicted with hyperthyroidism can now scream bloody prejudice.
My bastard's view, is like this. Don't like being fat? Not comfortable with it. You cannot accept the disadvantages that come with it? Then do something about it. Arguing genetics, and all that can only make me point to those with far more serious gentic diseases, and ask, "Would you date someone retarded or austistic?"
Everyone carries that self-righteous stick. Whether you want to hit someone over the head with it is up to you. Maybe the fat poeple carry a fat stick as well, so they can hurt the skinny ones more.
I'm already innured to being to called a bastard and an arsehole, so I don't mind so much if people don't like me. I like myself. Those who like me will do so of their own accord. The fat people can also learn to be comfortable with themselves. Because all this finger pointing from them betrays an insecurity. And rather than change themselves, they want others to change.
Trying to change one person is already an herculean task. Trying to change society? Good luck.
Just my silly little thoughts. If reading this makes one unhappy, one should just shut it and forget about it. It really doesn't matter.
True fairness probably might come about only in the Final Reckoning. So one might as well, get on with it and make the best out of whatever they are given.
And yes, I do not like fat girlfriends. But the claim is that they have such warm hearts, awesome personality, et all. Their conversation should sparkle and the goodness pouring out from them should make me want to stay and talk with them. Go out, catch dinner, as friends first. Who knows what could develop later? But the sad truth is that these fat people turn out to be no more great hearted, intellectual or engaging then some of the skinny people I could be going out with. No competitive advantage? It's a hard life folks.
I still hold that the gambling theory works, except that the fat people don't play mahjong very well either. And then they blame the game. Fucked up rules. Biased to the skinny again lah!
It's really quite funny.
How come PAP say you must struggle, the masses can accept. The Green Ogre say that life's hell and you want, you fight. Show him something better. And now everyone's up in arms and wielding weapons. String up that arsehole ogre!
Aiyah, must be because I don't like fat people. And not because I'm not one of the elites.
By the way, you still haven't answered tommy's question yet. :P
ogre: wah lau .... I don't understand why you have to get so worked up on this. What I was trying to say is simple, that even the fat ones with the sparkling personalities still won't find love. They may not be uncomfortable with themselves; they may be happy the way things are with their bodies. But they will not find love because they're fat.
I wasn't trying to pass any form of judgement on people. Where the hell did you get that? I never said "Someone who doesn't date fat is bad". What I wanted those people to think through is, before you start criticising or finding fault with the appearance of fat people, you'd better take a good look at yourself first. Also, to look beyond the surface. Give those whom you may have never considered a chance.
Haven't you thought before it is because of how superficial people are, that results in one of your good friends (I**) not being attached? Doesn't he have a wonderful personality? As far as I know, he's a very, very nice guy.
But how many girls would want to give him a chance? He may meet one eventually, but how many others out there will be that lucky?
And I didn't answer Tommy's question, because it's totally irrelevant to what this post is about. And fyi, this is not the tommy you're thinking of.
u also didn't answer my question wat =P
Hmm in my opinion, fat is better than ugly. Fat you can exercise (cost free), but ugly you have to go for surgery (fucking expensive).
Ogre, fat people no need to go to the extent of comparing with people in counties at war lah wah piang. A bit cheap shot lor.
Just one thing to consider lah, in your argument that's lacking..
So if you have to choose,
1) Slim ugly girl, with a personality you badly want to change.
2) Fat pretty girl, with a weight you can't stand.
Which one?
But of cos, since you're a bastard (and you're already married haha), you don't have to choose lah.
The problem with being fat is that it gives an outward appearance of having a severe lack of discipline, just as non-smokers will perceive smokers as having a serious lack of judgement.
In the grander scheme of things, we are attracted to people primally (no pun intended) because they give off a healthy glow which means that they have better genes when it comes to bearing offsprings with higher chances of survival. Ultimately, we all just want to ensure survival of our line.
Bearing that in mind, it's not too difficult to figure out why men in general will not go for extremely fat women and that full-figured women are perfectly acceptable. :)
I am against stick thin generic women by the way. I think they are completely unattractive. At the same time, I am also against fat people who whine and whine about not being able to find anyone without asking themselves some serious questions about their lack of discipline.
Adrenaline- Er, I'm not worked up. Seriously. I just think that fat people finding love replacing other similiar politically correct quests for "equality and happiness" to be quite silly.
And I would go out for a second dinner with a fat girl if her conversation impresses me sufficiently. I would.
And to answer your question, I woudl go out with my wife on a seocnd date even if she's two times her size. She showed an great interest in European history and culture. Has travelled can seems to be able to bring some considerable intellectual weight to the things we talk about. Though quite frankly, I probably wouldn't marry her. Though that is because I am a shallow bastard. as you have rightly pointed out.
However, the fact remains that she isn't fat and so she is more desirable to me.
I reaklly wasn't worked up or anything. Juust wanted to explain my stupid two cents and show another side to the coin. I've always believd that soemone should play the devil's advocate. When everyone is saying, "Poor thing". I have to say, "Ho Sei lah!"
The point is that everything only sees one face to many issues. I am an idiotic aresehole and so I admit it. Though I would like to point out that debate and arguments will show other views.
And I do take your points in consideration. My rebutting them does not mean I disagree or make light of them. I was only trying to debate them. I do think you made a good point. And I commented on it because I thought it was interesting and worth discussing. I can stop this if you'd like.
That's why I don't yes, yea, yeah people. They're worth only what your own view is worth.
My friend who may be passed over by many will then belong to somebody who will I know truly deserve to be with him. However, if he doesn't meet someone like that. He's just then unlucky, or a scathing indictment of our shallow superficial culture. In that case, he's batter off alone than with somebody who doesn't deserve to be with him.
Next up, he doesn't really care much about getting hitched. If he did, he would be more concerned and doing something about it. As it is, he is a bit too bochup for even my liking. He's comfortable the way he is. The girls you mentioned are may be not as bochup?
By the way, said friend did stop seeing a rather good looking girl after he decided she was spoilt. So he does get dates.
Although the odds are bad for him, because he's bochup, choosy and fat. The big pluses are he's kind, a good man, smart, rich, drives a nice sports car, got career, well read, man of many hobbies, and got many other funny cool friends.
If he doesn't meet anyone then too bad lor. Life sucks what. He could kill himself if he can't take it.
Still it doesn't change the fact that being fat is a disadvantage. I admit that. What I question is, "is it an irreversible and totally damnable disadvantage?" Can the fat do something about their poor fat situation, bereft of love?
Zhebin- And saying that fat people cannot find love because males in society are all shallow superficial bastards isn't a cheap generalisation?
I guess I simply threw peanuts at a monkey. Which I shouldn't. Our laws prohibit feeding monkeys. And I am law abiding.
Your question is good. I'd pick No.2.
I would rather a fat pretty girl, because we can exercise together. It's really hard to change an ugly personality or add personality into someone without a personality. The fat girl has better chance of getting closer to someone I want to be with.
Adrenaline- Er, if you would prefer me not to be so controversial on yourblog, let me know.
Oei, I really really not worked up. Maybe the words seem strong, but I'm just in argumentative mode. Argument for the sake of prolonging argument. My twisted idea of a good time.
I can stop doing it on your blog. Sorry if it pissed you off. :P
: )
as my fren said,
"all gals are pretty,
just that some are more pretty."
which of us dun prefer an attractive mate with a great personality? all of us do. a person without either of the fore-mentioned quality, may be hard pressed to find a mate.
are all of us superficial? u bet. the fact that we label ppl as ugly or attractive proves that we are already superficial.
ogre: Yeah, i was a little pissed cos i just don't understand why u cant see what I was trying to say. Not that you're wrong; u're entitled to your opinions. but i was just going for something simple .. u know, juz give somebody a chance, that's all. And this doesn't apply to you, since you're already married. im fine now by the way.
how come everybody is focused on talking abt why fat people are not desirable and so on? aiyo .... i was merely hoping that some of the people out there can give other people a chance, that's all.
It's like, someone tells me he/she is hungry, and i say, "well, maybe you want to consider eating chicken rice?" and he/she starts saying why he/she is not interested in chicken rice and how chicken rice pales out in comparison to the other kinds of food in terms of nutrition value, cholesterol and calories ... blah blah blah ... hahahah ... the more i think about it, the funnier it seems to me. i mean, hey, you don't have to eat the chicken rice. You can eat other things too. But if you are lacking in choices, then maybe chicken rice is not as bad as you think.
Haiz ....
That's all lah.
mela: err ... i don't quite agree. i don't think offsprings would be one of the first few things people think of when they meet other people. i mean, it's really quite weird to see a gorgeous guy and go, "wow, i think we would be able to make very beautiful and healthy kids."
i wonder, though, how often people do think of such things even when they're about to get married. Nobody I know has actually told me this. Though this was something I thought of, but only after i've decided to get married =P heh ...
It's true that those fat, whiny people do not deserve our sympathy. I get frustrated by such people too. When I get too much of their whining, I just get them to shut up. But this post was written with "somewhat-fat-but-are-not-whinyfriends" on my mind.
thesinfulangel: well, as I have explained to Ogre, this post isn't about how superficial people are.
I'd like to think that most people do not label other people as ugly. And even if we do, that's not being superficial. I mean, you can say this guy or gal is ugly, and you can still want to date him/her.
I see the point about the seeming deprivation of even opportunity.
The flip side is that these shallow superficial fucks can continued to be tortured by their evil stick thing girlfriends.
And those who can keep an open mind will get to enjoy the wider variety and choice that comes with it.
For those who can only choose chicken rice. It's better than starving to death. If they woudl rather starve. Then we have less idiot taking up resources.
My ex-girlfriend is slightly plump, but i loved and even now, still love her. :)
But i'm no angel either. Like i said, i don't mind dating plump girls as long as they look healthy. Fat girls don't look healthy to me. >.<
Since the topic is about fat people. Interesting article to read http://freakonomics.blogs.nytimes.com/2007/11/27/the-wage-effect-of-fat/
basically you are in love with sibeh sian
Bob: Shhhh... that's supposed to be a secret :D!!!!
Adrenaline: Don't worry girl, I love you even though you are fat :)
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