What would I do without her?

I remember when I was young, I was a sickly child. One time, I came down with fever and was left at home with my young auntie to take care of me. I remember lying down on a mattress laid on the floor, staring through the door as my mom instructing my auntie on how to take care of me. Then she waved bye bye and left through the main door.

Since young, I have been a somewhat wilful kid. I never like to have my mom take me home from school so whenever school ended, and I don't see my mom at the gate waiting for me, I would feel very happy. I simply loved the idea of walking home by myself and would sulk when I met my mom halfway. Somehow, I just didn't want my mom with me, as I wanted badly to be a grown-up who didn't need to stick to her mother.

However, during the times when I was ill, I would become this little girl who wanted her mommy with her all the time.

So when my mom left for work that day, I started sobbing and kicking up a fuss. My young aunt was helpless and she childed me for being so naughty.

A few days ago, I woke up feeling extremely dizzy. In fact, I couldn't even stand up. So I went back to bed. Then my mom called my mobile to ask about something which I no longer remember now. I only remember mumbling something and told her I was ill. My mom asked me if I wanted her to come over. I said no. After all, I am a big girl now; I can take care of myself.

After a while when I thought I was feeling better, I tried getting up again, and stumbled my way into the toilet to wash up. But I ended up vomiting and somehow found my way back to bed where I fell asleep again.

At the point, I was feeling kinda lost and was wondering if I should call my mom. At that point, my mom called me again and asked me again if I wanted her to come over. She offered to buy some food for me. Food was the last thing on my mind, and I knew even if she was here, there was no way I could make it to the clinic with her because I was simply feeling so dizzy that I could not get out of bed.

But I still wanted her here. I felt like I was back to this little girl, even after 20 years, who wanted her mom with her. Not all the time, but just there and then, I really wanted her by my side.

So my mom showed up (thank god I had give her a duplicate set of keys so I didn't have to get up to open the door) and she served me a plate of chee cheong fun while I ate in bed. I found out later that she was already cooking porridge for me and that chee cheong fun was meant for herself. But she gave me the chee cheong fun because I wanted to eat straight away to prevent the gastric pain from kicking in.

My mom couldn't stop how the dizziness but I did feel better after she arrived. Strangely, I somehow felt better while she was fussing over me.

So I realised no matter who grown-up I am, there would still be days when I wish my mom could be by my side. It doesn't matter what she would be doing, just as long as she is here.


p.s. I am not pregnant.