Things i foresee will happen to me

1) Spraining my ankle for the nth time

I've given up keeping count on the number of times i've sprained my left ankle. With the amount of running that I do (e.g. jogging, rapid jay-walking across heavy traffic junctions, running after the bus - yes, I do still take buses, etc), it's most likely this will happen to me again.


2) Falling down the escalator in my office building AND the stairs in my home

I have this intense premonition that it's a matter of time before I forget to hold on to the handrails on the escalator and lose my grip while frantically rummaging through my bag for my employee card. Then, I will fall backwards and tumble down the escalator and I would most likely cut myself and end up with a broken hip.

The stairs in my home formed an L-shaped pattern and is beautifully grilled with wrought iron. However, the non-grilled part faces the wall and given that I've had a few near-missed incidents at losing my balance while climbing the stairs (and I think these are actually warning signs), it's most likely one of these days I'm gonna slip and hit my face on the wall before tumbling down the rest of the steps, breaking my arm during the process. I do hope I break my left arm though, so, even if I can't write, I still have strength in my right arm to hit people.

This also brings to mind an incident last week. I was out with a friend and we were on the escalator at the Lido cineplex, and I asked him if he would hold on to me if i'm gonna slip (which meant, he might tumble down the escalator with me), to which he replied, "Then you don't be clumsy lah! If you choose to be clumsy, how can people help you?!"

My dear friend, clumsiness is not by choice. You can choose to be more careful, but you can't choose not to be clumsy. I'm just born like that, you know?


3) Seeing a shrink

My emotional and mental balance have tilted by quite a fair bit recently. I snapped at little things that are not going my way (which happens almost everyday) and I kept imaginging how it will go when I finally get hold of a gun where I can bring to the office and shoot everyone there. Well, maybe not everyone. There are some nice chaps around. But I would like to shoot my phone first, so it'll stop ringing. haha ... I'm kidding of course. I can't get a gun in Singapore. I'll just use my kitchen knife instead.

I find myself talking a lot more (to myself), and my emotions go up and down like a yo-yo. I frequently tear for no reason during travelling time alone (in the car) and since I don't fancy the idea of sharing all my thoughts to someone else I keep a lot of it in. If I don't see a shrink soon, I might explode, which would be a disgusting sight.


4) Getting fat

What's new? With the amount of work, numerous visits to the hospital and time to catch up with people that matter, I hardly find time to exercise. It's a matter of time before I become a fat, old bitch.


I have quite an uneventful life, eh?