Naughty . by . nature

2011-01-26T01:13:00.002+08:00

Are you ready?

The floods down under have screwed up a lot of people and their homes. And my holiday plans to go visit again this year.

Normally at this time, there would only be bush fires. Summer emits unbearable heat down in Aussie land, and I could never survive a full summer over there. This year, the rains poured down hard on them, immensing their very homes in hordes of water. It is hard to believe, that they actually have a law, where people are not allowed to wash their cars with hoses during summer time, in order to save water. I had a friend who was scolded in the public toilet once, for washing her hands, longer than she rightfullly needed.

Unfortunately, we sometimes need to face events like this, to remind us how lucky we are, to live in a country without natural disasters. We do not need to worry about our houses being lost through earthquakes, rebuilding the homes that have been destroyed by floods, losing our dear ones to tsunamis, etc.

In our country, people worry about the ability to own a car with high COE prices, being able to send their 2-year-old children to classes, when iphones will be in stock again in Singtel...

It is perhaps also this mindset where we would be painfully unprepared should a disaster strike us. A man-made disaster that is. How we would scramble and lose ourselves in panic! We always see the anti-terrorism videos in MRT stations, but how many stopped to watch the video and remind themselves that this could very well happen one day.

I just hope we'll all be ready when disaster strikes.

2010-12-14T00:30:00.002+08:00

Men can be so funny sometimes

I was searching online for a free software to download and this ad popped up and led me to a new website. It's an adult friend finder website. Something caught my eye (a video) so i decided to explore it.

I have to say, the things men say to get attention, can be so hilarious and entertaining.

The ones who can't wait...

"God has sent me baby! Let's Connect."

"Do you want to sex now??????"

Zero points for the English. Although, I know grammar is not what people in the website are looking for.

The ones who tries to hide their intention to have sex only ...

"I am ez going and I am looking for chat, discreet, noti & fun times with like-minded female.
I understand that most ladies require good chemistry so i am not rushing into things.
If a simple meet up for coffee/drinks/meal or movie sounds good to you, then why don't just drop me a line."

"I think my wishes here are the same as any others: to get to know sensible, sane people and chat first, get to know each other as friends/acquaintances, maybe meet up for coffee, etc....and if anything else happens after that, than its a bonus. If not, its OK too....no bad feelings. All done without stress, rush or pushiness."

Yeah right.

The ones with the huge egos ... (but probably without the huge equipment).

"Love doing oral a lot and fuck well in all positions for hours together."

Sounds like an advertisement.

The ones who probably won't get laid ...

"hmmm... don't know what to say. Just want to have some sex."

WTF?? And you seriously expect to get some response from this?

There is another group of people who would put up pictures of their crotch or worse, their nipples to attract the opposite sex. Why in the world would women respond just by seeing this? If you go stark naked, at least some women might appreciate either your openness, your build (or the lack of it) or simply just by the size of your accessory.

Anyway, had a bit of entertainment reading these intros for a while. Need to get to bed. Am falling sick.

2010-10-30T22:14:00.003+08:00

Heartbroken

I got up early this morning to prepare for our big dragon boat race, the Singapore River Regatta. As I was on my way to WY's place to pick him up, I got a call to tell me that my dog has passed away.

When i looked at him before i left my home, he looked so peaceful, as if he was sleeping.

Anyway, I was torn between going to the race and going back home to take one last look at my beloved baby. Being the team manager, i felt that it was important for me to be there, to keep things in order, and not to disrupt the morale of the team. WY made the decision for me, when he started suggesting people who can come down at last minute to take my place. In the end, I went home.

Stroked him, cuddled him, and sent him off to be cremated. You can say I cried buckets.

5 years ago, I lost someone I love. And it has happened again.

I miss my baby already.

2010-10-13T00:02:00.002+08:00

Finding back myself

I was asked to write an article on dragon boating, my feelings and such, for the sport and team for a monthly newsletter that would be sent to a few functions without my class of business.

I came up with something and the person in charge came to me and said my article was boring. He lost interest at the 2nd paragraph and felt the whole article was too corporate. I agreed.

He asked me if I want to redo it which I did, and I put in more personal feelings and what I really wanted to say in the article. I realised I have been corporatised and couldn't write anymore in my own style. This must not go on. I must not lose myself. I must not become what the company wants me to become.

Anyway, below is the article which I did.

=================================

"True enjoyment comes from activity of the mind and exercise of the body; the two are united."

~Alexander von Humboldt

I have always been a restless person and thus always seeking to release the energy through sports. I played squash (and nearly lost a tooth), did kickboxing (and got scratched bad by amateur boxers), picked up roller-blading (which nearly cost me my hip), exhibited clumsy moves in hip hop dance classes, etc. Despite the obstacles that have always stood in my way, engaging in sports is never a chore because I’ve always enjoyed what I was doing and I love the sweat (and endorphins) that come with it. I have never participated much in team sports in school so when the first dragon boat clinic was held, I jumped at the chance. Of course, the rumour of yummy-looking males in the dragon boat arena added to the motivation. I have to say I am somewhat disappointed with the ugly truth (pun unintended), yet even so, I have never once, looked back.

During the initial sessions, I always go home with a very sore body but feeling somewhat satisfied. Secretly, I think many people do enjoy a certain amount of pain, but they just refused to admit it. Anyway, if I say that getting too much sun and potentially ending up with lopsided arm muscles hadn't crossed my mind, I'd be lying. As a female (and one who hides under an umbrella even when walking to purple house for lunch), these are legitimate concerns. But just like the idea of running a full 42km marathon sounds daunting, we know the satisfaction is invaluable.

As time passed, I started to look forward to the training sessions and the anticipation plus adrenaline rush of going to races kept me motivated. I love the competitiveness of the sport and the exhilaration of kicking the butt out of another team (especially other oil majors).

A new dragon boat jersey = $26
A carbon fiber paddle = $300
The expression on your competitor’s faces (when they lost by a mere 0.02 seconds)? Priceless.

Priceless also because we don’t see this often enough.

But our egos do not suffer any damage because we have been conditioned in the exact same manner to not feel badly about losing and there is always a next time. And a next time. And a next time.

We all know exercising brings health benefits. That keeping fit and healthy now is far greater than popping pills when I'm old. One of the big plus of dragon boating is the amount of shouting we have to do during training to breathe properly, release energy and spur each other on. I can’t recall the number of times when I get my team mates to shout out, as a form of venting their exasperation, as if they were shouting at the bosses who breathed down their necks, spouses who refuse to flush the toilet, or the stupid kid who beat you to the last seat on the train. It really is a great way to release the pent-up energy and what better way to do it, than on a Saturday morning, in a boat filled with 9 other people, doing the exact same thing?

Similar to running, dragon boating trains endurance for the body and mind. Pushing myself further than I think I can brings a tremendous sense of accomplishment. Here in the team, I have teammates (actually, just one teammate) who would offer me his S$400 IPPT gold award if I can outrun him. Where else, apart from this team, can I find such supportive teammates?! I almost went to church to thank God for the incredible good fortune bestowed upon me. Just for your info, said teammate completed a 2.4km in 9 minutes and 45 seconds while I am only a mere 7 minutes and 18 seconds behind. Which I believe he knew.

Being part of the dragon boat team has also given me valuable things besides fitness - I have found new friends whose company I totally enjoy and share camaraderie with. We had gotten so close in fact, that it was perfectly natural for the girls to ask the guys about my size for a sports bra which was the present of my recent birthday. Because of our passion for the sport, we spent a lot of time talking about how we can get better at it. It's built a bond for us so strong, that we would want to spend more time with each other, other than just being in the boat. Apart from our usual Saturday breakfasts, we’ve done numerous lunches and dinners, exchanged Christmas presents, shared rooms on a trip, shared gossips, and shared bathtubs. I have to say, finding a new group of good friends with a zest for life and sports from the workplace, is something that I had never quite expected.

I may have made it sound simple to keep up with a sport (or more than one, for that matter) despite being in operations, but it really is not that difficult. Sure, you’d need some re-scheduling around but allocating an hour for sports every other day is still somewhat manageable. The most difficult part is getting started. But once you did, you'd be surprised how easy it actually is. If you're someone who has always thought of exercising but has also been putting the idea off because "things are always coming up at the last minute" or "I can always start next week", do not hesitate anymore. Place a measuring tape on your table to keep track of your expanding waist line or better still, put a weighing machine right by the snack table to remind yourself of the need to start. Alternatively, choose a less cruel method like setting up a workout day with a co-worker who cannot handle rain checks (like me) and rid yourself of the excuses once and for all. Other than getting your work-life balance, picking up a new sport may bring you more satisfaction and fulfillment than you can imagine.

2010-09-01T23:42:00.002+08:00

Bonding

One month ago, I went on a 3 nights trip to Bali with my fellow dragonboat team mates. Few months back, when I wanted to start planning for this trip, I had suggested Australia. It could be due to my previous experience, but I luuvvv Australia. I love the courtesy, the open cafes, the sunshine during winter, the autumn breeze, etc etc. Somehow, it went out of the girls' budget (apparently $2k is too much money to spend on a trip. wtf?!) and they decided that we should go Bali instead.

I have been to Bali, but it wasn't the most pleasant trip then. The person I went with was kind of dissatisfied with just my company and was commenting the whole time, "I wish our friends are here." So you can guess I didn't like Bali very much. I rejected the Bali idea but finally succumbed to their whining and pestering. And I would say, that it was a great decision made.

The Bali trip was supposed to be a trip for 4, stay in a nice villa, where we just lay on the beach chairs by the private pool, get massages, manicures and pedicures, DVD watching, etc. It was meant to be a true R & R trip.

As the news spread, many more got interested in the trip, and we ended up going in a group of 9. It was like back to the good, old school days where life is a lot more carefree. This trip turned out to be one of the best trips I ever had. We had fun from the airport to the plane, joked and laughed our way through Indonesian custom clearance, oohs and aahs at the beautiful villa with 4 bedrooms and a private pool, made fun of the guys who had to share beds with each other, admire the girls' collection of bikinis, soaked in a giant tub together, rafted through a pretty long stretch of treacherous river, surfed till sunburnt with abrasions on the knees (I was the clever one who opted out of surfing =P), got our massages and finally did all kinds of stupid stunts in the pool.

As I get older, a lot of fun that came from friends being all crazy and imaginative, kind of died down. Most people just matured, and didn't talk or behave the way they used to. More than once (I think), i have blogged about how friends seemed to have changed, and the conversational topics just aren't as interesting anymore. It depressed me a little, but i reckoned that had to do with the growing up. It is something I have to accept.

Now, I hang out with a bunch of 20+ to 30 year olds, and they still talked about being attached or single, their passions, their wanting to try many things, financial planning for retirement while also planning the next trip, etc etc. They dont talk so much about children (except other people's children), public vs private housing, CPF, etc etc. They talked about events going around the globe and not just in their homes. They talked about business strategies not restricted by international boundaries. They seemed to have this zest for life, which I so adore.

I had actually found new friends, whom I had gotten pretty close to, from dragon boating. It's something that I had never expected. Because of our passion for the sport, we spent a lot of time talking about how we can get better at it. It's built a bond for us so strong, that I'm pretty certain even if I were to leave the team for whatever reasons, the friendship is here to stay.

=)

2010-05-02T01:59:00.002+08:00

Strange Dream

I had a dream the other night that I was pregnant and was going into labour. But my tummy was still very small and it didn't seem possible that a full-grown baby was inside me. I was already in the hospital then, looking for a nurse and there appeared none in sight.

Suddenly, one nurse approached me and said she would help me deliver and take care of me thereafter, but I must pay her. Somehow in my dreams, I wouldn't usually question strange things, as they appeared to be normal then. I think I hired the said nurse.

But what I remembered most from the dream, were the thoughts that were going through my mind. I was wondering if I had quit smoking at all, and if I hadn't, would my baby turn out to be a freak or born with down syndrome or something. And it really bothered me then. Everytime someone asked me, what I would do if I get pregnant since im a smoker, and i would reply i believe in the greatness of a mother's love. Should I get pregnant, no matter how heavy a smoker I am, I would stop smoking right away, for the baby's sake. Thus, the confusion in my dream.

Then, i went into labour and true enough, a full grown baby came out of me. It was a boy.

I had always hope my first kid would be a boy. So that I can teach him to love his younger siblings and not bully them, the way I was bullied when I was young.

Anyway, just for the record, I'm not pregnant. And won't be for a while.

2010-03-16T23:40:00.002+08:00

I have too many things to do

Our dragon boat Captain decided to pursue his career elsewhere and has tendered his resignation. His duties of "bao sua bao hai" have been passed down to me.

On one hand, I love the challenge of motivating the team and helping to build the strength of the team, numbers wise. On the other hand, I think I will be very, very tired this year. A number of oncoming projects (work wise) are heading my way.

Meanwhile, i am still doing a lot of meddling with people's lives like introducing single girlfriends to single (or divorced) boyfriends, forcing people to lose weight cos they're really fat (and single), telling people they should get insurance in case they get hit by cars driven by mad drivers, etc.

I am also very proud to say, from Nov till now, I have lost 4 kilos, 2 inches and 5% fat percentage.

And I'm going for more =)

Wish me luck!

2010-01-14T23:23:00.002+08:00

Another departure

A team mate announced yesterday that he has tendered his resignation and is now serving his three-months notice.

We are not particularly close, even having been in the same team for a year.

But strangely, I invited him to lunch with me and another team team (who is not that close to him as well) today.

Maybe it is knowing that he is leaving, that I'd want to spend more time with him.

Sometimes it's kinda strange that people takes people around them, especially those they see everyday, for granted, that only when someone is about to leave them, that they start to treasure the time they have together.

By people, I mean me, of course.

On another note, the boss seems to suggest that we would not be replacing another headcount. Which means more work for us. So my quiet time would be over in another 3 months time.

I hope I don't become a perpetually angry person again.

2009-12-07T21:59:00.002+08:00

What the fuck

I renewed my season parking late by 4 days this month, and was met with a rude online message, stating the carpark where my car was allocated a lot, is full, and I have to park at the neighbouring carpark. One of the carparks the website suggested was a good two bus stops away.

What the fuck?!

I refused to adhere and was given a parking ticket the next day.

And the next day.

And the next day.

So i sent an appeal online and am now waiting for someone's reply.

Do we really have that many cars around? Are Singaporeans really so affluent these days, that we actually have to fight for carpark space in our own blocks?

One of these days, the HDB will decide they want to privatize the parking facilities and we will end up bidding for a lot.

And that will totally suck. Because we know Singaporeans are rich and crazy, and they will pay a lot of money and do a lot of stupid things for the things they want. Like queueing outside LV.

2009-11-17T00:35:00.002+08:00

Let Go

A dear old friend just returned from down under, and a few of us met up for coffee.

I realised then, that it has been really long, since it was just us. No spouses or partners. Just the gang that used to get together to hang out at void decks, coffeeshops, or over at Ogre's home playing mahjong.

For a while, I have been wondering if there will be times again when us friends just hang out, without the partners. I think the partners are fine; but your friends never behave quite the way they are when their partners are around (no matter how they argued they always behave in the exact same manner even with the spouses around).

With almost all my friends already settled down, I guess there will really come a time when I have to bid goodbye to the once funny acts that never failed to make me laugh.

Maybe I am quite reluctant to let it go, that's why I have been making new, single and young friends from work and DB.

Maybe it's time to move on.

2009-11-05T00:50:00.003+08:00

Mountain out of mole hill

I sent an email to a counterpart in Australia this morning asking for some clarifications and that person forwarded my mail to someone else sitting in my office, 2 aisles from me. If I could get my answer from the someone else, I would just walk over to his table. Why would I bother to send the email to someone who is on a 3-hour time difference, only to have her forward the email to someone whom i can get to within seconds?

Somehow, a clarification that I asked ballooned into something bigger and "someone else" walked over to one of my teammates and began discussing the issue with him. After their discussion, teammate walked over and appeared quite pissed. He told me that if I want any clarification on such matters, I should go to him first.

I had no idea what discussion went on. I asked 2 very simple questions, because Australia wasn't clear in her email.

Teammate is a guy in his fifties, who had just moved from USA. He's the other smoker in this office (yeah, 2 out of 80+ people), and we usually get along just fine. I didn't understand the "confrontation", but thought if I run into him during one of the smoking breaks, I could clarify. Just to be sure, I consulted my team lead on my email and whether it was unclear or could have led to any misunderstanding.

"No, your email is very clear."

So I went down to have my smoke and thought I'll clarify with him after he has cooled down. When I returned, I saw team lead at teammate's table and they were obviously discussing the issue earlier.

Went back to table and continue my work. Team lead then came back to her desk and drop me a message via MSN.

"I'm sorry I went ahead to ask XX about this, but I really cannot tahan not asking him about this."

Thanks, and now, I feel like a baby. Who has to go crying to mother whenever she is bullied because she cannot stand up for herself.

Teammate came over to apologise for snapping at me but he was really pissed that he got thrown a pile of bloody spreadsheet with all the wrong data and just when he's trying to clear things up, people started asking questions on why he is not updating the spreadsheet with accurate information. The truth is, I feel bad for him. It's like he's got this load of shit thrown on him because someone else doesn't want to do this shit and this is not what he signed up for in the first place.

"If i had known I'd be doing this, I wouldn't have taken this job."

And he was right. That spreadsheet is rubbish and because our global leaders had lost the fight against other teams on the accountability of maintaining this spreadsheet, the people at the bottom gotta take the shit.

I figured all this out while I was taking my smoke, and I wasn't sore or anything. And I meant to explain to him that I wasn't questioning the integrity of the data, just wanted some clarification. It was like, "is it 1, or 2?" kind of clarification (which could have been answered by Australia). Yet, my team lead had to beat me to it.

Not the first time I was treated like a baby.

At what point, do I tell said team lead that I can very well stand up for myself?

She's trying very hard to "protect" her team, but in the process of doing so, undermine the fact that we are all adults here and can very well settle our problem.

I wonder if this is because she thinks I can't handle it. But I can. I really can.

Oh well.

2009-09-29T23:30:00.003+08:00

Women!

I am sorry to say this, but women can sometimes, be such bad drivers.

Firstly, there was an auntie who banged my car from the back a few months back. It was along Paya Lebar Road where there is a perpetual jam. The cars were moving oh-so-slowly, and she still found the opportunity to bang me. What the hell. She must lack banging in her life. NB.

Then, there was this woman who doesn't check her rear view mirror before she reversed to park, and nearly hit my car, which was coming from behind. I mean, i saw that she was waiting for a lot. So i swopped beside to pass her, before she started her vertical parking. She didn't bother to check her mirrors and started backing into the lot when I was right beside her. She saw me only when her car was into the lot and she looked shocked. Yeah, you stupid bitch. You should have looked into your mirrors and ensure the path is clear before the reverse. What are you? A retard?

I encountered some stupid questions from my female broker at work today. Why people can ask such damb-ass questions is really beyond me.

I'm sorry, but why do the women I met always appear to be more stupid than the men I've met?

2009-09-29T00:30:00.004+08:00

Updates

On the night before my birthday, I met up with a poly friend for dinner. I have been very busy these days, and rarely find the chance to ask her out for coffee, an activity that we engaged in heavily in the past. She met me at my office lobby, and from the back, I almost couldn't recognised her. She seemed to have lost quite a bit of weight, although she was still kinda chubby. During the dinner, I commented that she seemed to have lost a bit of weight, somewhat excitedly. After all, losing weight has always been a compliment. To which she smiled sadly, and said "Why wouldn't I?"

I found out from her that she had gotten pregnant (I didn't even know she was seeing someone), but she terminated it prematurely. Apparently, she was involved with a guy whom anyone would deem as an asshole. But she chose to be stupid (as she claimed) and still got involved with him anyway. As she had expected, when she smsed him to inform him of her pregnancy, he did not reply. Not at all surprising since he hardly contacted her anyway. But she didn't get the usual morning sickness so by the time she found out, she was already 9 weeks into the pregnancy. She considered a lot of options but decided to terminate the pregnancy finally.

Her news really hit me badly. I was feeling relatively down the next day, especially when I thought how I hadn't been there for her. She said everything happened too quickly, and she didn't have the chance to come to me. Fortunately, she had a friend who stayed with her the whole time.

I really want to spend more time with the people I love. I may not have enough time to ratio it well, but I will try.

=========================

Went zouk for mambo last week. It was a farewell for one of the dragonboaters and for the purpose of bringing another there for the first time. The thing I can't understand is, why do the "mambo zoukers" now all dance with some kind of hand gesture for every single word in every single song? I mean, who the hell did they think they were explaining the song to? And who the fuck gives a damn?

It's still good music though, although I stayed off the long island tea this time (I was knocked out before midnight the last time I went mambo which was last year).

=========================

My best friend finally got married to her boyfriend of 9 years. I was truly happy for her. Tried my best to assist her in anything that she needs help in and was kept busy and running about during the day (and night).

As usual, we had some fun during the gate-crashing in the morning, but her boyfriend (now husband) is really a nice and gentle guy, so we went easy on the challenges. The video highlights did not do justice to the fun we had in the morning though. In a nutshell, the editor had extracted only a very short and mild version of what went on the morning. I had painstakingly printed out pictures and had everything laid out properly so that it's easier for the editor, which was unfortunately, not utilized. I hadn't been trained, although I have done about 5 weddings for my friends. Even I can do a better job.

Oh, and I just want to comment that the Ogres' got a super cute daughter.

===========================

I am up at 1am typing this post because I'm in the midst of reading my work mails and transferring the read mails to the server's folders. Argh. Back to work tomorrow. I enjoy my work, but I'm not sure if this is really what I wanna do.

2009-08-05T23:10:00.004+08:00

What would I do without her?

I remember when I was young, I was a sickly child. One time, I came down with fever and was left at home with my young auntie to take care of me. I remember lying down on a mattress laid on the floor, staring through the door as my mom instructing my auntie on how to take care of me. Then she waved bye bye and left through the main door.

Since young, I have been a somewhat wilful kid. I never like to have my mom take me home from school so whenever school ended, and I don't see my mom at the gate waiting for me, I would feel very happy. I simply loved the idea of walking home by myself and would sulk when I met my mom halfway. Somehow, I just didn't want my mom with me, as I wanted badly to be a grown-up who didn't need to stick to her mother.

However, during the times when I was ill, I would become this little girl who wanted her mommy with her all the time.

So when my mom left for work that day, I started sobbing and kicking up a fuss. My young aunt was helpless and she childed me for being so naughty.

A few days ago, I woke up feeling extremely dizzy. In fact, I couldn't even stand up. So I went back to bed. Then my mom called my mobile to ask about something which I no longer remember now. I only remember mumbling something and told her I was ill. My mom asked me if I wanted her to come over. I said no. After all, I am a big girl now; I can take care of myself.

After a while when I thought I was feeling better, I tried getting up again, and stumbled my way into the toilet to wash up. But I ended up vomiting and somehow found my way back to bed where I fell asleep again.

At the point, I was feeling kinda lost and was wondering if I should call my mom. At that point, my mom called me again and asked me again if I wanted her to come over. She offered to buy some food for me. Food was the last thing on my mind, and I knew even if she was here, there was no way I could make it to the clinic with her because I was simply feeling so dizzy that I could not get out of bed.

But I still wanted her here. I felt like I was back to this little girl, even after 20 years, who wanted her mom with her. Not all the time, but just there and then, I really wanted her by my side.

So my mom showed up (thank god I had give her a duplicate set of keys so I didn't have to get up to open the door) and she served me a plate of chee cheong fun while I ate in bed. I found out later that she was already cooking porridge for me and that chee cheong fun was meant for herself. But she gave me the chee cheong fun because I wanted to eat straight away to prevent the gastric pain from kicking in.

My mom couldn't stop how the dizziness but I did feel better after she arrived. Strangely, I somehow felt better while she was fussing over me.

So I realised no matter who grown-up I am, there would still be days when I wish my mom could be by my side. It doesn't matter what she would be doing, just as long as she is here.

p.s. I am not pregnant.

2009-05-22T00:40:00.002+08:00

http://dailynews.sina.com/gb/news/int/kwongwah/20090518/0347272430.html

Not everyone can manage their studies, regardless of what schools they go to.

Unfortunately, the deceased wasn't very strong in his studies prior to poly, and I guess the pressure of projects and struggling so hard just to pass finally caved in.

It really is a pain to lose him at this age.

To quote my uncle, "I've had this son for twenty years.... and now he's gone, just like that."

Jia Wei and I have almost never spoken to each other so I cannot understand why he did what he did. But I hope he is finally at peace with himself now.

Rest in peace, cousin.

2009-05-05T00:00:00.003+08:00

The Era of the 1980s

I have been wanting to blog about this for quite some time already but never found the time to.

A couple of friends and I met up for dinner and we sat talking about life, people and mostly work. A similarity that we all encounter, is the young people who had just graduated and started work, for the first time, probably. The attitude of these young ones really amazes me.

Like some of the ones that I ran into at work, these young people are idealistic and ambitious. Some, very ambitous. But what I can't get is, how can these people expect to climb up the corporate ladder, earn big fat salaries, when they don't even want to get their hands dirty?

My best friend started out in the audit line at a big audit firm. She worked days and nights at her work. She said, during her first year, she spent the most of her time in front of the photocopy machine. It was the job of the first years, to photocopy the documents and keep the records for the seniors and managers for their use. When she was promoted to senior, she worked non-stop, finishing work only at 11plus at night. Once, she stayed over at her client's place and worked till 7plus in the morning. Such are the harsh conditions she was exposed to, before she can get to where she is today.

I have heard from a number of people, that, when they tell the new joiners to photocopy documents, they would be asked, in a most self-important manner, "Why should I do this?"

There is this other group of 1980s that are overly idealistic.

They breeze through life, going into colleges, hanging out with friends, making enough money to spend for their daily wants, etc. Then, all of a sudden, they decide to do something different, finding a new path of life. They drop whatever they're doing, forfeiting all the money that their parents or family have spent on them, and decide to just pursue their new found direction.

I couldn't understand why these young ones are behaving like that. So different from the way people in my era behaved.

Then my friend brought up, "it's because our families, in one time or another, have been poor. These people born in the 1908s, have parents who are more less enough money to sustain their daily needs and material wants. They can do whatever they want, not needing to make money to support their parents."

And she's right.

Must we all go through poverty before we can realise the value of money?

Must we all go through hardship before we realise that success doesn't come easy?

Must we actually see how our parents slog, before we realise how hard they work, to give us the life that we have?

I can't help but wonder how is the next generation going to turn out. We live in an era of computer games, aircon rooms, Nike shoes, LV bags, etc. The more we want to pamper our children with the finer things of life, the less they'll understand they have to get their hands dirty to achieve success in life. The more we want to satisfy their wants because we want our children happy, the less they'll understand they have to work to fulfil their needs.

Right now, I'm only glad I don't have kids. Because I really have no idea how to bring them up. So i'd better start planning now, just so i'll be ready when the time comes.

2009-03-29T23:11:00.003+08:00

The Bubble Tea

It's that time of the year again, where we would go clean up the tombs of the late loved ones, and bring them lots of food and "money".

The Mandai columbarium was filled with people, joss papers and joss sticks, food, smoke and ashes. I pretty dread going there over the weekends for Qing Ming. You had to queue like an hour plus before you can get your car parked. It's smoky and hot, with little children running about, people talking loudly ... I was thinking if I want to be put in here for some eternal peace and quiet, I certainly wouldn't be getting any for at least a few times of the year.

During such events, it involves quite a fair bit of waiting. During these times, I would roam about the place, looking at the stone tablets of the deceased. It usually captures my attention if I see a particular young picture.

I was reminded of one time, when I was there offering prayers to my father, it was a very quiet day. The niche opposite my dad's was recently "occupied". There were some offerings on the floor, but there wasn't much food. What caught my eye was a plastic cup with a colour straw. It was a cup of bubble tea.

My eyes shifted to the stone tablet to which the offerings were left for. The picture was a young boy, and upon calculation of the date of birth and death, the deceased was a twelve year old. This led to my recollection some time ago when I was there, I saw this pair of young parents, who were looking at the stone tablet sadly. The woman was wiping her tears.

No doubt the parents of the deceased would be heartbroken. But how much do we know about their pain? I kept wondering, did the boy die of a long disease, or was it an accident? No matter what caused the death, this pain would shadow the parents for the rest of their lives.

I have never been a parent. So it really makes me wonder how can the parents of the deceased ever get over the death of their child?

I only hope that, one day, should i have kids of my own, I would pass on before they do.

2009-01-22T16:59:00.002+08:00

Why bother them?

If you have been involved in traditional Chinese funerals (and by traditional, I mean those kinds where it involves some chanting or burning of stuff), you know there are certain procedures to follow.

1) The extended version of chanting by some monks on the last night of the funeral

2) The praying and food offering on the 7th day of the dead

3) The praying and food offering on the 100th day of the dead

I have been involved in a number of funerals these couple of years (evidence that while I hate the fact that I'm aging, many others are dying (so I should be more thankful that I'm still alive)). Somehow these rituals all involved in the shouting of "HUAT AH!!" at the end of the procession.

My question is, why are we shouting for "Big Money!!" when someone has died?

Do we really believe that the ancestors, or the deceased, would bless the remaining (living) family members with "Big Money Luck"?

Why are people still expecting the deceased to do something for them? If they're dead and assuming there is after-life, shouldn't the deceased be, well, enjoying themselves already? Shouldn't death be a form of retirement, for good?

Looking at the way some family members have turned out, I used to tell myself that I have lousy ancestors. They do not bless their descendants to turn out to be good or rich people. But as I get older, I realised:

1) The ancestors are not gods; they can't change human behavior. Hell, perhaps even gods can't do that

2) The ancestors, if they do exist, are not obliged to give their descendants good fortune even if they can (I can imagine if I'm already dead, and my children are asking me to bless them with lady luck for the Toto and 4D, I would be thinking, "Man! I can't catch a break!")

3) Money needs to be earned, in whatever ways you adopt. There shouldn't be any shortcut.

I have been a Buddhist all my life (at least, that's what I think). All these years, whenever I pray, I pray for my family to be safe and studies/work to go on smoothly (except when I was very young, and I lost my wallet once, I prayed for my wallet to be returned to me, and i really got it back =)).

As I get older, praying becomes a form of remembering the deceased. I do not think of my father every day; only occassionally. On the days that praying is involved, I would think more of him. I do not ask for good fortune or money; rather, I would tell him what my life is like now. And I always end off with, "if you're around and listening to this, pls look out for your son, who still needs a lot of guidance in life."

Anyway, to conclude, it just doesn't make sense, to me, to be asking the deceased for more money. You should be shouting "HUAT AH!!" to living people only instead.

Happy CNY, people. And it makes more sense, during this coming festive season, for me to say the following ...

HUAT AH!!!

2008-11-03T23:09:00.003+08:00

Why do Mercedes Benz drivers have to be such ASSHOLES?

Why do they change lanes without signaling?

Why must they flash other drivers on the right lane?

Why do they assume other drivers will give way when they change lane without signaling?

Why must they tailgate every car on the road?

Why do they assume they can behave like complete assholes?

Why are all of them fucking ugly?

Because the men have fucking small dicks, and the women fucking small breasts, so they want to take it out on everyone else.

Because they are members of the Scumbag Club and thus, behave as such.

Because they want attention on their car instead of their fucking ugly faces.

Because they are brought up to be idiots.

Because all of them have gonorrhea.

Because they want to join their friends in hell.

2008-10-11T00:49:00.010+08:00

Life goes on

Sorry for the lack of updates, but I've been real busy.

Anyway, I know the F1 fever is over, but because I want to brag that I was there, FREE OF CHARGE, I'm still gonna post the pictures anyway. There's a limitation to my bragging though, cos I only got the ticket for Saturday. Compliments of Da Company.

Yeap, if you enlarge the picture ... You can see I had gotten a seat at the PIT Grandstand =D

Which also meant, I was opposite the paddock.

Pretty cool, eh?

I managed to snap this pic after it just came out from a corner. Otherwise, it's almost impossible to catch them. They're so damn fast.

See what I meant?

It really was quite an experience, given this was the first time I'm seeing a race live for the first time. The moment you hear the engines, you already start feeling excited, even though you may not see the cars whizzing by yet. The noise was deafening, and ear plugs are an absolute must.

Anyway, I was too excited about being there, and I'd much rather spend more time soaked in the energetic atmosphere than just taking pictures, so that's all the pics that I have.

On a totally different subject, I just want to share the picture of a sunset taken from my hotel room when I went for the company retreat in August in Penang. The view is absolutely mesmerizing.

Must stay at the Shangri-La resort when you visit Penang

Also, I only realised on the trip that Changi Airport now has a sunflower garden =)

Okay. Need to sleep now. Will blog again.

2008-09-10T00:30:00.005+08:00

Another one bites the dust

So another one of us got married. He is the second last of the guys. We're expecting one more next year, and this group would be done getting hitched.

I was asked to do the video for the wedding, and I certainly hope I didn't let them down. Well, even if I did, too bad for them, since they got an amateur to do it. Heh.

I have been helper/sister/videographer for quite a number of weddings. So much that I've lost count. Can no longer remember how many times I have done the 酸甜苦辣 games. Even though this "tradition" is getting really old, it's still pretty fun. I can imagine you guys who are reading this, arguing that it's only fun for the girls, but not the guys.

Come on! In spite of whatever you have to go through, you still had fun, didn't you? How do we find laughter on the video if you guys don't make a fool of yourselves??? =D

I would like to compliment the groom of the latest wedding, for being pretty spontaneous and didn't lose his cool. Although he did try to find excuses to get out of doing tasks that were lined up for him, and failed miserably. Then, an annoying relative of the bride who came late and insisted rather aggressively that she be let into the house immediately, saved the groom from more challenging tasks. Although the groom was actually very eager to perform the task of singing. We almost had to shut him up (which happened during the banquet as well!).

This group of friends is very unique. I hang out more with the guys cos they stay nearer to me and more importantly, they bothered to stay in touch. Some years ago, before they started getting hitched, I thought to myself that I would feel really left out on their wedding days cos unless I'm asked to be one of the sisters by the bride, I wouldn't be invited to join in the day events.

One of the guys broke the tradition last year, and asked me, a female, to join the 兄弟帮. I can't even begin to describe how happy I was. Anyway, I mentioned this to another buddy who thought it was a unique idea and he did the same. This was a really good deal for me since I get to join in the fun but didn't have to eat or drink any weird stuff, or dance around like a monkey. I hid under the cover of being the videographer. Oh, to digress a little, given my extensive experience in weddings, most men can't dance to save their lives. Really.

Anyway, with just one more wedding to go, I certainly hope I'll still be involved. Crossing my fingers.

Will be attending the wedding of another good friend from poly this weekend. Even though we never failed to bicker when we see each other, and I frequently wish to sit on him, he's still a fantastic pal whom I truly respect. Will be just attending as guest for the dinner, although I had offered to be the MC for the night which he forcefully declined for fear of having to make a fool of himself during game time. That wuss. I hope he falls while walking down the aisle.

Heh =p

2008-08-21T00:38:00.004+08:00

Who would you choose?

I posted a question to a male friend the other day, and he took a real long time to finally give me an answer. Reason being, he, like many other males out there, would like to have his cake and eat it (although I know I've heard a saying which goes, "what's the point of the having the cake if you can't eat it?!").

Question (for those with dicks only):

If you have, if you really have to, would you rather pick a girl who is super hot (like Jessica Alba hot) but doesn't really give a good blowjob, or you pick a girl who is only so-so looking (like Renee Zellweger, as opposed to Jessica Alba) but gives the best blowjob in the world?

Who would you choose??

Now, I don't want to hear (read) rubbish stuff like how you can "train" the hot looking one (I mean you, ogre) or make the so-so looking one go for some cosmetic surgery or something ... You can only pick one, and pretend it's a for life kind of thing.

So, would it be

sexy Jessica?

or

Renee?

p.s. I think Jessica Alba looks so hot in that picture. heh.

2008-07-30T00:36:00.005+08:00

What the fuck!

My company wants to promote me but doesn't want to give me the rightful compensation.

Fuck them!!

They intend to give me a double promotion but is offering only a single pay upgrade. I hate all those dumb shit they say about some stupid formula calculation. Should I give a fuck about how you actually want to exploit your employees? You should draw the cost of paying some assholes sitting in the office, doing nothing, gossiping or just trying to act busy, and pass their pay to me. I do their shit. What the hell.

Good workers don't get paid well. Which is why, im fucking lowly paid. I wish I am an asshole who only sucks up to the big boss (no pun intended) and get recognised for buying her coffee and running her stupid errands. But I can't, because I am not an asshole. I have one, but I am not one. And I fucking have pride, unlike the dumbasses in the company.

Push my button and I'm gonna just dump all these shit on you, you stupid pricks. I'll reject your promotion, show you my middle finger, and just drop the godamn letter on your super clean table (becos you have no shit to pick off).

And becos I know im a fantastic worker, I have no problem finding another job out there.

So give me my rightful dues, you jackasses.

2008-07-07T23:31:00.002+08:00

Super Mom

I was at my mom's place for dinner the other day. We were standing, and chatting halfway, but out of the blue, my mom blurted out, "These damn cockroaches!"

With that, she stamped her bare foot onto the nasty creature crawling across the floor.

I don't fear cockroaches, but no way will I allow skin contact with those filthy crawlies.

I look at my mom in a different light now =)

2008-07-03T23:31:00.002+08:00

My Time

Usually, mornings are the time that I have entirely to myself. If i drive to work, I'll blast the music and sing out loud to wake myself up. Or, i'll just put on the radio and think about things that I don't tell others about.

If I take the train, it's about the only time I have to read. I never read much during my growing days, and I do wish to make up for lost time. I'll put on my earplugs, listen to selected MP3s and catch up on the books that I don't get to read very often. When I'm at home, there is always housework to do. So much that I don't get to sit down quietly and just read the books that I bought. In this manner, I do quite enjoy taking public transport.

However, there have been times when I ran into people that I know on the train or on the bus. It's fine if it's a fellow colleague or a friend whom I'm pretty close to. We would end up chatting (or gossiping) on the way to work.

I do feel quite annoyed though, when I meet people whom i'm not particularly close to, or interested in. There is this obligatory small talk that you have to make, and frequently, there is always this silence in between that makes the situation awkward. If it's someone that I just nod to, that's fine. I'm talking about those whom you've seen walking around in the office, those you meet in the toilets, and the people whom you make small talk with at the office gantry (where you wish the coffee machine would work faster so you could just get out of that area).

I don't enjoy small talks with people that I have no dealings or interest in. Especially so when they're management staff. I just want to get back to my MP3 and my book. It would, however, seem rude if I just mutter a "hi" and turn back into my book. Somehow, people I ran into would go more than just a "good morning" or "hi, I didn't know you take this train". They would start engaging in small talk, which seemed like the only polite thing to do.

I do wonder though, during the midst of the obligatory chatting, if they feel the same way that I do.

"Why don't she just get back to her book, and we can stop chatting?"

"Gosh, I wish the bus would come so that we don't need to have this obligatory chat."

Would it seem weird, if I were to ask these people, "would you rather I get back to my book?"?

Somehow, my colleagues are all custom-made with small talk abilities or they're just born talkative. They always seemed only too glad to have someone to talk to while on their way to work. Maybe because I don't wish to be misunderstood as being rude, so I may have portrayed the same form of enthusiasm?

On days like this, I wish I drive. In my little world, where I can sing out loud, sneak a little "nap" at traffic junctions, cry when I think of things that pained me, or laugh as I reminisced through happy events. The only drawback is, of course, I'll never get to finish that book.

2008-06-12T00:34:00.002+08:00

Things that pay off

Tips for the guys

1) Always kiss the ears and neck gently.

2) Run your fingers through her hair. Smell her hair.

3) Wet her lips with your tongue.

4) Massage her.

5) Stroke her inner thighs.

6) Squeeze her butt.

7) Put her middle finger into your mouth and twirl your tongue around it. The feeling is damn hard to describe, but it's goooood.

8) You know, after sex, when lying next to each other, you should run your fingers along her body. It feels damn good, like a post play. Not just arousing good, but just comfy good. Works as foreplay as well.

2008-05-26T23:59:00.020+08:00

Picture Time!

Decided to share some pics from my earlier trip. A little late but better than never ..

This is a picture of the Oaks Lagoon we stayed in. It's damn nice and relaxing .... and it looks exactly like what I saw on their website.

The rainforest habitat ... This pic doesn't do justice to the actual environment they have created for the animals ...

Check out the baby in the mommy's pouch!

Sleeping Koala ... what's new? They sleep the whole damn day. And I thought this Koala looks pretty ugly actually. Shouldn't the nose be black colour???

A blown-up of a small part of the Great Barrier Reef ...

It's fascinating to have the fish swim around you while you're snorkelling ... I didn't do scuba diving cos it was too freaking expensive!!

I love this pic! This was taken from our hotel ... The shadow at the corner is due to the flash on the glass pane, not some supernatural being ... I think my camera is fantastic. Heh.

I couldn't get a good pic of the apostles cos it was really foggy that day ... at least, I get to see for myself part of the (12) Apostles before they erode completely ...

Lord Arch Gorge along the Great Ocean Road. The view is absolutely mesmerizing!!

another one ....

and another one ... beautiful, isn't it?

After watching "Finding Nemo", I became most amused by seagulls (rather than crown fish). So much that I decided to take pictures of them just standing around on the roads (as if they own it).

Back to the city .... this is a picture of the court house located in Melbourne city.

This is LaTrobe University located in the city. Super cool to study inside such a beautiful building located right in the heart of the city man ...

Spencer Street station at night ... Yarra River is located right behind this station.

A cathedral

I think Melbourne is such a fantastic place. They have so many things located right in the city. Man, I would give anything to live there ...

Can't wait to go back to Aussie again!!

2008-04-29T22:52:00.003+08:00

More time? Please?

Hi. I am back.

I am down for 2 reasons:

Firstly, my holiday is over. So shitty work life begins again. Hell, everybody has to go through this so even though it sucks big time, i still get on with it.

I would love to blog about my trip, show you all the beautiful pictures of the great ocean road, the melbourne city at night, the amazing great barrier reef .... but im just not in the mood now.

A good friend of mine just confirmed that he has cancer. Brain cancer.

1 month ago, he had undergone an operation to remove a tumour in his head. It was bringing him frequent headaches, and the inability to recognize words. It was only until one day, when the headache caused him to paralyze, that he was taken to the hospital for a brain scan.

They remove the damn thing, about 9cm long and 4cm wide from his head. There were even cysts growing on the tumour.

When I visited him at the hospital, I was teasing him that he might not be able to play mahjong anymore. He and his GF knew that I was going to Australia for a holiday and they both wanted to join. I was more than glad to have their company. They're both great people. Really.

I also observed that he had a ring on his fourth finger, and he admitted and they had gotten registered just a month ago, after Chinese New Year.

"Wah lau! So secretive ah?"

And I was truly happy for them.

These 2 have been one of the most unaffectionate couples I have ever met. But on that day, when I bade them both goodbye at the hospital, I saw them held hands in front of us, for the first time.

I was touched. Really.

A week later, friend told me he wouldn't be able to join in the trip as he had to undergo chemotherapy. The tumour was cancerous.

"But the tumour's removed. So he should be fine, right?" Or so, I thought.

Was on MSN with him, and he told me that he's undergoing chemo and radiation treatment now. I didn't realise the seriousness (probably because I refuse to believe he could be this ill at this age) until he told me, the statistics of similar patients living into the 2nd year after being diagnosed ... is 25%. No one, in Singapore, has lived more than 4 years.

I shed a tear.

I got to know said friend when I first went over to Brisbane to study. He became my housemate. After the other 2 housemates moved out, I stuck with him in the same house and we both sublet the other rooms, making us the main tenants of the nice, old Queenslander.

We had a lot of fun playing mahjong, pool, and I described him to my other friends, as the housemate who eats a mountain of rice. Which he did. But he never gained weight. At that time, friend was already on medication. I didn't know what he was suffering from, juz that, if he didn't take his full medication every day, he would get into fits.

It was also in Aussie land that he met his current wife.

A couple years passed, and even after graduation, we still kept in touch. Mostly for mahjong. He was one of my faithful mahjong khaki. And always will be.

He is coming 29 this year.

I really wish there is something I can do for him.

2008-04-10T00:44:00.004+08:00

Time

Our sex-god finally decided to come back from London for a visit. The meet up was arranged last minute but everyone turned up. Including Sian. Gosh, I thought he had drowned or something.

The thing about this group of friends is the amount of laughter I have whenever I'm out with them. It's like we never graduated from poly. Even though it's been ten years.

As I go through life, I have found many friends (I use "found" because I think you have to go out to find that person and make the effort to keep him/her as your friend). Age changes the way we behave and the topics we talk about whenever we're out together. Many friends change after they get married. Houses, cars, loans, investments and children are the most common topics. These friends no longer value friends the same way. It's not a bad thing; family is, ultimately, one of the most important thing in life. I would say, that almost all my friends are leaning towards such a culture. On certain days, I do feel sad that my friends are no longer they way they were. Some do not even behave the same way because they had to be better behaved when their spouses are around. Many no longer ask me out for late night coffee chats. And when they do, their spouses HAVE to be there.

I guess it's part of the journey of life to go through this. The most fun and playful times of my life may possibly be over. My friends have moved on, and perhaps it's time that I do.

However, meeting up with my poly friends have always been this entertaining and inspiring. They make me feel young and carefree again. Seeing the changes in my other groups of friends, I sometimes get afraid that this particular group of friends will steer towards the same direction as the others. It may happen one of these days ... I'm just hoping it won't be soon.

Meanwhile, I'll just enjoy my times with them ...

Or I'll just go out and find younger friends. Heh.

p.s. Even though I tried to threaten Sian to start blogging again, he indicated that he has been very busy (wanking) and somehow, the inspiration to blog is exiting. I get a feeling he may close down his blog altogether. But don't be sad, because he does have another blog which he may reveal in future. So stay tuned.

2008-03-31T23:15:00.005+08:00

tHE pERFORMANCE rEVIEW

Every year there is the performance appraisal that people dread ... or love.

It's the time when you bullshit your boss with all your "triumphs" and turn your weaknesses into strengths. I quite enjoy this actually, cos I love making myself look damn good in my job. Heh. Not that I am not, but i welcome praises and compliments anytime. Fyi, I have always been getting good reviews with all my bosses so far and I plan to stay this way.

Problem-solving and decision making

Oh, I am fantastic at this. To resolve the problem of being stuck in traffic jams every morning for 40 min, I made the conscious decision of sleeping in till 8am, then getting out of the house only at 8.50am. Instead of spending 50min per trip, I now spend only 35min getting to the office. Which means, I save 15min everyday. Never mind the fact that i am late for work by 1hr 45min.

Understanding Business

I understand that our business is doing so well ... that almost everyone in the office (globally) got an iPod Touch or iPod Nano ... except me and the rest dealing with this particular group of products that we deal with. Reason being, the money should be put to better use like investing in the opening of a new plant thus generating more jobs for us so that we'll become so important that we're irreplaceable to Da Company.

Coaching and Development

I tried to develop my colleague's social skills by bringing them to Zouk, getting high and playing guessing games. Not that I succeeded, but I've tried nonetheless.

Openness to Change

Instead of ordering the usual lunch box for lunch meetings, I ordered Subway instead.

Interpersonal sensitivity

I don't make fun of fat or ugly people in my team. Only the fat and ugly ones.

=D

2008-03-15T01:13:00.003+08:00

A present for me

Despite several hints that I've dropped on my blog, there has been no generous friends who are willing to sponsor me a digital cam. You stingy asses.

Haiz.

People really gotta depend on themselves for the things that they want.

Fortunately for me, I won a little something at the lucky draw during the Dinner & Dance last week. No, I didn't win the camera, but I got a wine cellar which I managed to exchange for a digital camera. Of course, I top up with another 120 bucks which is still a pretty good deal.

So I got myself a handy little Pentax. I know Pentax is like some old brand,but the difference between the pics taken by the Pentax and the Casio or the Canon, for that matter, is really great. Oh, I forgot to mention my motivation for the digital cam is my upcoming trip to the land down under.

This trip will take place in April and I'll be sharing lotsa pics of Cairns and Melbourne on this blog after my trip. I shall secretly try to take some pics of babes that I see on the beaches, so stay tuned.

And to tommy, I dunno what is up with Sibeh Sian. He has MIA for a long time. Maybe finally trampled to death by people he has irritated. Heh.

2008-02-28T00:35:00.003+08:00

ZZZzzz....

Every once a month, I have to go down to our plant for a meeting. The attendees consist of twenty (or more) other men, and usually I am the only female present (there is this other female whom the males pay no attention to).

The meeting usually starts after lunch and can be unbelievably boring sometimes ... In times like this, it's really hard to keep my eyes opened.

Therefore, to keep myself awake, I allow my mind to wander aimlessly ... Well, not aimlessly. Frequently, I think of sex ... I know it doesn't make me sound good (which I am), but really, thinking of sex can keep you awake. Of course, it can make you incredibly horny as well but given I don't have body parts that reflect my emotion, i guess it's not that bad for me.

Heh.

2008-02-06T23:14:00.000+08:00

Random and Horoscopes

(Updated: Addition of Rabbit)

I meant to put up a post about the fantastic concert I went to (refer to previous post), but decided against it. Most people I know who reads this blog don't really care much about Jay Chou. Too bad for them.

There has been nothing interesting to blog about in my recent life. It has been most routine. I don't know how much more I can put up with this.

On the good side, I may be flying to the land down under in March, although i heard that Queensland is now 2/3 flooded during to the heavy rains.

It's crazy, you know? It's freaking summer in Aussie land now .... supposed to be about 40 degrees during the day, and dry like the desert but instead it's heavy rains and thunderstorms. The world is so changing.

I wonder if we'll ever get snow here.

Meanwhile, have a wonderful Chinese New Year.

===================================

I decided to add another topic to this post on horoscopes, given that it's the New Year and most people check their animal horoscope in one way or another. Here goes:

Rat
Life will be good for you. Rats are sneaky and disgusting and if you're as disgusting, you'll probably make it good. Make full use of this year for all your evil deeds because next year, you'll be trampled by the ox.

Ox
You have to slog and slog. What to do? You're born to labour all your life. On the plus side, you may die this year, bringing you the sweet release of death.

Tiger
Not a good year for the tiger because the cats and rats can't stand each other. This year, the rat will get its revenge on you and make you suffer good. Be afraid and paranoid most of the times, because, those freaky things that you imagine will happen to you, WILL happen to you.

Dragon
No change as compared to last year. The dragon doesn't care about rats and vice versa. Life will be as usual. That is, if it's good, then it'll remain good and vice versa.

Rabbit
If you realise, the rabbit and the rat look similar, except the tail. Due to this reason, it'll be a bad year for the rabbits, because of the increase in demand for rabbit stew. Which mean, most of the time, you'll get yourself in hot soup which you can't get out of. Better stay at home all the time.

Snake
Excellent year for the snakes. Snakes love eating rats and this year, you'll do much better than the rats. So find the chance to sabotage a rat now and you'll earn that promotion that you've always wanted.

Horse
The rats are not too happy at being trampled by these animals often. Better watch out. It's the year for freak accidents.

Goat
Generally, the rats and the goats have nothing in common, but goats are meant to be slaughtered so that we can have lamb chops, so you will continue to be bullied in all aspects of your life.

Dog
Those born in the year of dogs will do good this year. Because just like the rats, you don't really like the cats and that makes you allies with the rats. So learn to be more scheming and you will excel.

Chicken
Chickens and rats tend to fight in the barnyard for grains (because rats eat everything) and being an enemy of the rats mean your life will be hell. Be more paranoid and superstitious; it'll help.

Pig
Doesn't matter as pigs never do well. They are only good for pork chops.

2008-01-13T01:54:00.000+08:00

YES!!! (Updated)

After a long period of bidding on yahoo and ebay auctions, I finally got hold of a pair of Jay Chou's concert tickets. But surprisingly, I did not get them through the auctions.

I just happened to stumble (again) into the sistic website and it turned out that there were available tickets on certain categories. And they were pretty good seats. Think someone up there likes me, and is so touched by my determination and sincerity. Heh. I know; I am damn lucky =)

And to you people who bought the concert tickets through sistic for the sake of auctioning them off, shame on you. Those tickets are meant for people who are really interested in going for the concert, not for your bloody profiteering.

I hope your finger nails rot and drop off, from spending the money you profited through the auctions, you greedy sons of bitches.

Updated:

I sold off my original pair of tickets at the cost price cos I got my hands on another pair which offers better seats, albeit more expensive. I'll be 2 rows from the stage!! =D

2007-12-31T17:54:00.000+08:00

BET WITH ME

Almost every new year, I tell myself that I want to quit smoking. But many years have passed, and I am still smoking.

I think the real motivation to quit smoking is to be able to get some material benefits out from it.

So this year, I'm gonna bet that I can quit smoking, and you guys are going to bet that I can't.

Those of you who like to take this bet, it's SGD50 per bet, odds are 1 to 1. Hee.

Come on, give me a bit of monetary motivation to help me quit.

And don't give me those bullshit about "your real motivation should be your health, family ..... blah blah blah".

Just tell me whether you're in or out.

Oh, and I seriously will track you down to get the monies from you if I win. And of course, you can do the same if you do.

2007-12-21T22:43:00.000+08:00

Dino Shit on My Head

I had a really tough week. It's been my worst days since I joined Da Company.

At some point, I couldn't decide to laugh or cry at my bad luck.

Sigh.

=========================================

What I want for Christmas:

1) Own a gun so that I can shoot my mobile so that it would not ring at the same time when I'm on the office phone.

2) Own a gun so that I can shoot my office phone so that it would stop ringing.

3) Own a gun so that I can shoot the supply bitch.

4) Beat the crap outta the supply guy with my golf club so that he could wake up his fucking idea and stop giving me problems.

5) Crap on my boss's chair so he would understand what it feels like to have to clean off other people's shit.

6) Crap on my boss's boss's table so she would know what it feels like to have shit in front of you and feel fucked up.

7) Stuff a ton of mint leaves into that colleague's mouth so that she knows she has bad breath (and that she should come so close when speaking to me).

8) Head slam the marine girl because she is a bitch with no class.

9) Slap the colleague who comes whining to me about how bad a day she had because she had to face ONE fucking problem.

10) Burn the building with everyone inside except me so that I don't have to work but still get paid.

So, who's ready to make my dreams come true?

2007-12-04T22:46:00.000+08:00

Correlation

Because my friends around me are mainly guys, I get to hear a lot about things they like about women and sex. And I realised the parts of a woman that they like tend to reflect their favourite position on bed.

Boobs

Okay, almost the favourite part of most men. If you're very into boobs, you would prefer missionary position. Just so you can watch and caress the flesh while you're going at it.

Ass

Guys who love grabbing ass would love humping, doggy-styled. Just so you can keep spanking while doing it.

Face

Ah-ha! Being able to watch a woman enjoy her part of the action turns you on a great deal. Visuals are important. So you'd most likely enjoy making out in front of a mirror.

Legs

69. No better way to feel the legs while getting some action.

Okay, I may be wrong but there really seems some truth in this. Heh. Let me know.

2007-11-19T17:12:00.000+08:00

Fat People can't find Love

Look around and you'll realize that those people who are attached are usually not fat. Particularly girls.

They could be more well-endowed, possess child-bearing hips, or just come with elephant legs. But they do not fall into "FAT" category. They have problem areas but they're not a problem as a whole. "Fat" people are those who are look round, or huge and you can spot their body shape from far.

We have no problems befriending fat people, but we won't consider them as potential partners. Most people would rather date ugly-looking people than to date fat people. That is, if they have a choice.

Unfortunately, because of this, a lot of people are still single; the fat guys are still looking for slim girls and no guys want to pick up the fat girls. And it's harder for the girls, because while the girls don't mind considering fat guys, most guys will not consider fat girls. Never mind the fact that they can possess absolutely wonderful personalities.

I happen to know a number of girls who are still single. Most of them are nice, caring and would make fantastic girlfriends. But they're all single because they belong to the "fat" category. Some are not even fat; they're plump, and they're not less healthy than the average person. I have seen some of my attached girlfriends behaving in the most unreasonable manner and I do sometimes wonder why their boyfriends don't go find another girlfriend. But it's the most demanding slim girls that somehow keep their guy.

It's been a misconception that thin equals beautiful. A guy I used to date once pointed out a girl in public to me that, that was his idea of an ideal figure. She didn't have any curves, possess a washboard chest and chopstick legs. But the fact that she wasn't fat was what he was looking for. Of course, most guys wouldn't mind dating a girl with flesh in the right places (and perhaps a couple of wrong places) but they wouldn't date one with flesh in ALL the places.

Now, I know the superficial people out there would come contesting what I'm saying and blah blah blah. I don't give a shit. You're superficial and you just won't admit it.

But to those guys still single, maybe it's time you look again.There are really still a lot of nice, single girls out there. And before you start criticizing or finding fault with how the "fat" girls look, you'd better take a look of yourself in the mirror first. You may not be fat, but you can still look like shit. However, if you possess a generally pleasant personality, then I guess you would deserve to be with one of those we-may-not-deem-as-slim but are nice and good natured girls.

2007-10-28T23:48:00.000+08:00

Just a thought

For so many years, I have encountered different types of rude, arrogant, inconsiderate Singaporeans. Sometimes, you'd think that there is really no way in Singapore becoming a more gracious society. But, I encountered some nice people recently that shed a little hope that maybe things aren't as bad as I thought.

The thoughtful Uncle

There is this weird middle-aged guy that lives in my block. He would spend his time taking the lift, just going up and down. Often, he would be spotted looking very stoned as he made his way slowly to the lift. He's obviously a nutcase and his presence always brings about a lot discomfort to the residents. Many girls and women in this block are quite freaked out by his behavior and refused to take the lift with him. I have also had a rather bad experience with him (he had once tried to follow me while I was walking my dog but he couldn't keep up). But so far, I think there hasn't been any complaints about him; most people think he's harmless (except my one neighbour who told me his mother-in-law was once kicked by him while she was on the way out of the lift).

Anyway, I was going home this one evening, and I saw him again the lift. The door opened, and he refused to get out. So i stood there, refusing to get in. Then, there was an uncle who made his way to the lift and he noticed that I was scared. He stood at the lift door, smiled at me and said, "It's okay; come on in."

So I got in. Fortunately for me, the nice uncle lives on the 10th floor and I live on the 6th, which means I don't have to share the lift alone with the creepy guy (something I hadn't thought of when I made my way in). When the lift door was about to open, the nice uncle moved a little; to come in between myself and the creepy guy so that I could sort of be "protected" (and possibly not be kicked as I made my way out of the lift. heh.).

It was a very simple gesture, but it was really very thoughtful of that nice uncle.

The courteous bus driver

Those who drive will tell you that taxi and bus drivers are the worst lot. They do not signal when they cut lanes, and when they do, the signal blinks for one second and suddenly they're right in front of you.

This morning, when I was driving to work, there was this bus that was trying to cut into my lane. I usually give way when they signal. The bus driver, noticed that I gave way, gave a very long wave that symbolised a thank you. I thought it was actually a very polite thing to do.

How often have we forgotten to thank the vehicle behind for giving way?

The helpful lady

I was approaching this building near my office and had my hands full; groceries on one hand and my briefcase on the other. In the opposite direction, I noticed a lady walking towards me as she pushed through the glass door. I was still a distance from the door and was wondering how I could push my way through the door. The lady, noticing that I was approaching, held the door for me even though I wasn't exactly near it. I took a few quick steps and muttered a soft "Thank you" as I went passed her.

I thought that was a very nice gesture.

Sometimes you don't know how your little act of kindness or consideration can have a positive impact on other people. Even people you don't know. So, why wait to do something nice?

2007-10-03T23:44:00.000+08:00

I have decided to ....

take things easy

worry less

not flare up easily

do less work

not work at home unless absolutely necessary

eat more chocolates

leave work on time

not be affected by what others say

consider job options outside Da Company

learn how to invest my money

smile more

frown less

go for holidays

shop more

be a happier person

I think this will help shave the 3 years that I have aged during my one year service with Da Company.

2007-09-13T23:48:00.000+08:00

????

Why do all guys like to think their dicks are long?

It's so pitiful to live in self-denial, isn't it?

2007-09-07T23:46:00.000+08:00

Change

Before I joined Da Company ....

After I joined Da Company ...

Before living together ....

After living together ....

When I was living in a nice 4-room flat ...

Now living in an exec. mansionette ...

A year ago ....

Now ....

Before marriage ...

After marriage ...

Over the course of one year, my life has changed a great deal.

I looked back sometimes, and wondered if I would have done certain things differently. I knew there were other options, but I chose to go down certain paths because at that point in time, it was the most appropriate way out. Not the best, but the most appropriate.

So if you ask me if I regret it ... No, I don't. I only did what I had to do.

I only hope now that I can find the strength to change the present and the future. Maybe not the present, but the future.

2007-08-20T23:16:00.000+08:00

Horror Movies

I'm sick and tired of those Korean horror movies.

Ever since The Ring, the only ghost that appear in Japanese and Korean horror movies are Sadako-lookalikes. What happened to those good, old pontianaks that fly from trees, or the vampires that can climb on walls like bats??

Anyway, in conjunction with the Lunar Seventh month, I would to talk about horror movies.

Let's start with the scariest horror movie I watched when I was young. And that is, without a doubt, The Exorcist.

Scary girl with white face, long hair and a man's voice were certainly enough to scare the wits out of me then. But it was made a little less scary because my father was telling me about how horrible that movie was and how much it had frightened him when he took my mom to watch (when they were dating). So I was more or less prepared.

Then, there was this scary show named Evil Dead or something like that. Apparently, that story's about some supernatural thing that lurks in the basement. Which constantly reminds me, that I will never get myself a place with a basement. That is, if im moving to one of those countries with big houses and basements.

So I grew up watching horror movies (thanks to mommy who's favourite family activity was going to the movies; so my bro and I had to watch all the movies that our parents watched). And I sort of don't get scared of such movies easily. In fact, I do enjoy them. I get scared while watching (but of course!) but after that, I'll laugh at how silly I was.

There is this one movie, that has frightened me in recent years. That is, Dawn of the Dead. Not sure if this movie's about the supernatural, but flesh eating zombies are my least favourite of the supernaturals. I mean, vampires are pretty cool, you know, except, they can't go sun-tanning. Ghosts are just energy while witches can be pretty cool as well. But zombies just do not fit into the cool category. And zombies that can run faster than I do certainly freak the hell out of me.

The horror movies that I hate most are those stupid Korean or Japanese ones with Sadako's hair and nails. I mean, can the props supervisor or make-up artist do something different? Somehow, in all these Korean movies, someone must wear white (and maybe look bloody), and start crawling on the floor onto a very frightened victim or that white body would start scratching her nails on the floor. They really gotta stop ruining the floor tiles.

Anyway, the reason why I started talking about Korean movies is because I was on my way home from Malaysia (from our company retreat in KL), and we get to watch these movies on the bus, and they were showing this movie titled "Ghost Train". i slept through half the show, but I believed that i didn't miss much. Cos in the end, there was no proper ending and you're sort of left to guess who was the dead and who was still alive.

Some movies that I thought were scary and had every reason to include Silent Hill, Ghost Camp, Tale of Two Sisters and some others. At least the story lines' pretty original.

If I were to write a script, I'd like to write something to do with children playing hide-and-seek and finding themselves being hidden with something (someone) else in the closet, or people at a wedding banquet when half the room suddenly turned into werewolves and start feasting on all others, or the local S-11 coffeeshop that the supernaturals visit after midnight.

What would your scary movie be like?

2007-08-05T16:53:00.000+08:00

News

There is this new project at work recently where we have to come up with little skits and video-cam ourselves. (By the way, if someone tells me he or she has to video-cam himself or herself, i would think of low budget porn straightaway. Dunno why. I think becos i have trash friends who had been injecting dirty stuff into my head from more than a decade ago, that's why.)

Being a perfectionist, I have many ideas on how we can film ourselves and the angles to take so that it's not so boring, and it'll look very much like how it does on TV. So for our first shots, I wasn't too pleased and wanted to re-take the whole thing, despite 374,638 NGs.

However, before I can suggest a re-take, a team-mate expressed that this is not her real work and she wanted to get her priorities right. That is, this project is not worth taking up so much of her time. She is not wrong. But am i obsessive with getting everything done with my best put in?

I don't know.

Anyway, I just want to say, it's damn tough being both an actor and a director. When I play director, I have to explain and get the team to understand how the angles should be taken, and the "steps" they gotta take in order to achieve the required results. Somehow, words are interpreted differently and eventually, the angles for most scenes are just not what I had initially wanted. But this is teamwork, so if the rest of the team think it's fine, then so be it. After all, being one of the actors, the re-takes and NGs had really worn me out.

***************************************

On other news, a friend just had a little baby girl and I went to the baby shower alone yesterday. Some friends came and left, while the others weren't there yet. I was left alone among hordes of people for quite a while. Despite the mommy trying to find time to talk to me, she was most busy and I couldn't keep her to myself for long.

It is during times like this that I would think: Thank goodness I smoke.

Congratulations to Cheryl and Wee Yong on the arrival of little Megan. Despite her size, Megan has really beautiful eyes.

2007-07-22T09:41:00.000+08:00

Routine

Sunday morning.

Instead of sleeping in, I have to get up early because today is the 49th day of Mr BF's mom's passing. So we gotta bring "her" back from the temple. And of course, cook some delicious home-cooked food so that she wouldn't go hungry when she "comes home".

Anyway, I didn't follow the rest to the temple cos I wanted to see if help was needed with the cooking. And obviously, the maid had done everything (which is why i'm on blogger now).

Anyway, I was eating my breakfast halfway and watching a HK TV serial on cable vision when suddenly Mr BF's dad decided to listen to music instead. He switched off the TV and turn on the stereo and started playing some CDs. The music was relatively loud and it filled the whole house.

That was when I started feeling nostalgic.

When I was young, my dad would play music on the stereo on every Sunday morning rather loudly. I would wake up, always to the music of cha-cha or the music of his time. I don't hate them, in fact, I grew to like them. It became a weekly routine; waking up to the loud music and opening my room door to find my father practising his dance steps in a very clumsy manner. Sometimes my mom would be practising with him. Either that, or she would be in the kitchen preparing lunch (yeah, i usually slept till noon).

So, I grew up knowing the lyrics to the cheesy songs and actually being able to sing them.

Gosh.

I really, really miss my father. Very, very much.

2007-07-11T23:23:00.000+08:00

How much do looks matter?

I remember once reading an article in a fashion magazine where this photographer was being envied by many for his frequent contacts with models. But he claimed that it was a much tougher job than what many others thought cos the photos in the magazines have been heavily edited. The fact, most of the models aren't as perfect as they appear to be, and they do have little tummies, fats, or cellulite on their legs.

Then on Monday night, I was watching the Victoria Secrets fashion show(s) on TV and my god, those models looked gorgeous.

Not all of them were pretty, but all of them had fantastic bodies. These models are different from those that you see on magazines. To be able to walk down a runway, you must have that perfect body; that is, no inch of fat (except those on your chest) can exist on your body.

Then I was thinking, "Am I really ever gonna never look like that, not even once, in my life?"

I know, I know. Looks are only secondary and it's your personality that matters ... blah blah blah ... but i admit im vain, ok. And I want to look good, just like every other woman out there.

Now, I know what these models have to go through. They exercise like everyday, and eat only carrots and celery (and sometimes do drugs). And I also know, even if I run everyday, and survive on minimal food, i won't be able to look like that. Cos the fact is, I'm normal, and I can't just eat only carrots and tomatoes or spend my entire day in the gym.

Anyway, I have digressed and the whole point of this post is actually on the emphasis that people have placed on looks. We know that in the entire globe, there are only like 10% of people who look like those in the pictures up there and most of us are blessed with the luxury of eating pizzas, cookies and cream ice-cream, char kway teow, chocolate pudding, etc. But these models have became the benchmark of beauty and unfortunately, you're gorgeous only if you look like that.

Some time ago, I was watching some TV show with some friends, and one of the guys commented this when he saw a gorgeous model.

"哇! 如果我有一个这样女朋友, 我一定会好好做人."

Translation: "Wow! If I have a girlfriend who looks like that, I'll definitely be a good man."

Now that is ridiculous. So you'll learn to be a better man only if you have a girlfriend who looks like a model? And if your girlfriend is ordinary-looking just like everyone else, you'll be a jerk or an asshole and treats her like shit?

Shouldn't it be the case of 情人眼里出西施? (Translation: Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder)

While I still bear the secret fantasy of having a body like those on the runway, I like to think that im beautiful enough for those who love me to appreciate me. Despite us women always finding fault with our bodies, we love compliments from you. Heh.

So men, if you really love her, remember to kiss her on her forehead tonight and tell her she is beautiful. And mean it.

2007-07-06T10:25:00.000+08:00

It's a beautiful day

I woke up with a terrible cold this morning. Decided against going to work. So i washed up and took a cab down to the clinic. There is actually a clinic right below at my block but I had to get to a company appointed clinic so that i don't have to work out $$ from my own pocket for the consultation fees.

After seeing the doctor, the nurse informed me that Da Company has changed their panel of doctors where this clinic is no longer in the panel. Fuck. I had spent 37 bugs for the medical consultation and 4 bugs for the cab fare.

So I decided that i would just buy some food there and take a cab home to rest. Got my noodles and was waiting by the road side for an empty cab which seemed like an impossible thing to happen. Then, out of nowhere, i felt rain drops.

Perfect.

It wasn't heavy rain then, so I continued waiting hoping that some cab would just pass by and save my day. But it wasn't a great day to start with, so naturally nothing good would happen. After a couple of minutes, it started to pour. I had to run to a coffeeshop to get shelter while waiting for the rain to stop.

Fuck it. May as well eat my noodles here.

And so I did.

After a while, the rain had somewhat subsided though it was still drizzling. Finished my noodles so I took a smoke when I saw a number of empty cabs passing by.

Great. It should be easier to get a cab now.

How wrong was I! The minute I stepped by the roadside trying to flag one down, all the cabs just disappeared. To top it up, there were like a dozen people all waiting for cabs. Argh.

Despite everything, I managed to get home in one piece, albeit a little damp and more sick than ever.

I was told by my doctor that I had contracted viral flu. It seems like everything is related to virus nowadays. Why does flu comes with a virus? Why can't it just be normal flu?

Anyway, take care, y'all. Will update again.

2007-07-03T23:24:00.000+08:00

Being well-endowed ....

The pain that most people wouldn't understand:

1) Spending $$$$$ on bras

Cos u gotta get a good one so that they won't become saggy when they're still in their prime.

2) Getting stared at

Cos big ones are not seen very often.

3) Extra weight when running

It's an excuse to slow jogging, but yeah, it never gets old.

4) Looking fat

Yeah, your assets makes you look bigger than you actually are. Which really sucks.

5) Wearing auntie bras

The stupid nice-looking bras in the stores are only meant for A cups and B cups. They dont cater to anything bigger. So you're stuck with wearing auntie bras if you want the support. It's so freaking unfair.

6) Cannot wear tube tops

Cos these tops really accentuates the already big size.

7) Risk becoming saggy

:_(

Just like Zhebin once said, it's damn sad to be called saggy.

2007-06-18T22:17:00.000+08:00

PUMP

ok, the sore parts:

- my left butt cheek

- my right shoulder

- my left arm

- actually both my butts

- my thighs

I hadn't had it so rough for such a long time.

No matter how tired I was, I kept going on. Not just me, the rest of us. All of us got wet and sweaty during the whole process, but it didn't deter us from carrying on. It was exhausting, yet it felt good at the same time.

And when it ended, we just sat there, totally washed out.

But the experience was amazing. And I'm gonna do it again =)

Dragon-boating ....... is sooooo cooool.

2007-06-10T22:54:00.000+08:00

One Wedding and a Funeral

It was a crazy week.

On saturday the 2nd, I had to wake up at 5am after only an hour of sleep. That's because, for the first time, instead of being a 姐妹 at weddings, I was part of the 兄弟 gang and also, the videographer.
I was informed earlier that I had to arrive at the groom's place by 6am, which I did, only to find the groom still in his T-shirt and an underwear. Although, I wished that I had not witnessed that.

Anyway, we proceeded to the groom's mama's place (cos according to traditions, he had to set off from his parents' home) and while the boys got ready, I went to buy coffee and bread for them.

It was a most pathetic sight. We were at the carpark, trying to find a most "glam" manner to eat our breakfast, without much success. So some of us were squatting around and holding up a cup of coffee on one hand with a cigarette in the other while the rest were munching on the pitiful bread. As one of the guys put it, "this is the loser gang ...."

Anyway, we made to the bride's home on time, only to be kept waiting for about half hour. Upon reaching the flat, the boys almost, almost, succeeded in barging into the flat without the use of any angbaos (by use of the little boy who opened the car door as a pawn) although their ploy was ultimately thwarted by the bit of a sister on the hand of one of our brothers. Also, I was being attacked by the brothers during the negotiation of the ang baos because of some "Traitorous" (as the groom put it) comments I made. Well, I was just trying to spice things up; I thought the groom had it pretty easy.

The rest of the day went well, and the weather was fine and we ended the day event at around 1 plus.

As I was seriously exhausted, I was hoping to catch forty winks before making my way down to the dinner. I thought it would be nice to include the bride with her make-up and getting ready in the video. However, after 45 min of nap, I was awakened by Mr BF to make my way down to the hospital. His mom was very ill.

By the time I got to the hospital, Mr BF's mom was already delirious. She couldn't make out who each of us was and seemed to be hallucinating. For the benefit of those who didn't catch my post a few months back, Mr BF's mom was diagnosed with lung cancer (terminal stage) back in late January. She had not been able to go for chemotherapy due to her poor health.

Anyway, I stayed for a while and Mr BF asked me to go ahead to dinner while his sister and him would stay behind. I battled between staying behind and going for dinner. Both are once-in-a-lifetime events. Ultimately, I went for the dinner cos I felt there was nothing I could do for his mom even if I was there. But i could do something for my buddy's wedding.

The dinner went on well; the food was great and despite some hiccups, everything ran smoothly. We went up to the bridal room after that and viewed the video of the morning event. The night ended up with lots of laughs.

On Sunday, after enough rest, Mr BF and I made my way down to the hospital to visit his mom. Her conditioned had worsened overnight. In fact, she was in so much pain that she bit her own tongue. Although we could no longer understand what she was saying, we could tell she was in great pain and to make her condition worse, the doctor had given instructions not to allow any water. This was because there was a high chance the water could seep into her lungs which would be fatal. In between her murmuring, I could make out her asking for water. As if that wasn't bad enough, we had to tie her hands to the bed because she had been struggling to push the oxygen mask out of her face. It really saddened me that there was nothing I could do to alleviate her pain.

We left the hospital at 9 plus that night. I made a mental note to finish up all my week's work in one day and to take leave from Tuesday onwards, so that at least one of us could be with her all the time.

But she couldn't wait.

Mr Bf's mom passed away the next morning at 10.47am.

It was most heart-breaking. As the rest of the family members were too distraught to do anything, I headstart in the funeral arrangements, from finding the undertaker (i went back to the same undertaker who took care of my father's funeral) to packing up all her stuff and food and such. It was most tiring. I almost didn't have the time to feel sad. Except when I was packing her clothes.

So the whole of last week was spent at the funeral, and the after-funeral arrangements.

My energy has been totally sapped by the end of the week.

But in a way, we have finally found closure. I hope.

2007-05-28T22:46:00.000+08:00

Payback

Okay, folk, I think this post will be relatively longer than my usual posts these days ...

This incident happened last week in the office:

I came into office earlier, hoping to ease a bit of my work in the morning. Cos there was this meeting which was supposed to take place at 10.30am. It was usually a very casual weekly meeting with just 2 other colleagues to talk about forecast and demand for the week. But this time, 2 more persons were invited to sit in, as we were hoping for more contribution.

So I rushed a couple of reports, hoping that the information would be useful during the discussion, thereby pushing away a number of other duties. Then, at 10.45am, noticing that I had not been asked to meet up, I went over to the organiser's table to ask him about it.

She: Hey, aren't we supposed to have the meeting now?

He: *very surprised look* Oh! We already had it! At 10am just now! And we forgot about you! *Turning to his partner* Eh, QS, WE forgot about her!

She: *expressionless*

He: .... er er, because AP and RM had to meet up with a customer later, so we had to push the meeting earlier. Sorry sorry ....

She: *pause*

She: ok.

So I walked back calmly to my table and just sat down on my chair. I swear I almost smelt something burning.

Sure, we have the meeting only once a week, so it's not hard to forget about my part in this meeting.

Fuming, but I continued my work as usual. I was supposed to have another discussion with said people the next day and with more people involved, so I'll bring this up then.

And becos I was mad at this particular guy, when I got wind of some very important and urgent news, I chose to email him instead of calling him which I usually do.

In the afternoon, there was an uproar in the office.

Apparently, some of our products got loaded onto a certain vessel when they weren't supposed to. A very anxious colleague came to me asking if I knew about the situation, and I said I did. I also sent out the email earlier in the morning informing all concerned parties on this issue. The product was NOT supposed to be loaded.

"Then, who is the person who is supposed to inform our plant not to load??"

I smiled.

***************

ring ....

She : Hello.

He: Eh! The XXX is not supposed to be loaded onto XX Vessel, is it?!

She: Yah.

He: But nobody told me!

She: *in the most nonchalant attitude* I already sent out the email in the morning. Didn't you get it??

Of course you didn't, you idiot! You are always not reading my emails, because im not a manager, or some big shot whom you want to suck up to.

She: Besides, you've also asked me last Friday if XX can be loaded. And I already told you "no". If you didn't get any update from me since then, my last instruction still stands."

He: *silent*

That's right, you fucked up.

Gosh, that felt good.

Said guy was recently rotated to his currently job 3 months ago. Since then, he's pissed a number of my team mates off becos of his attitude; acting all high and mighty, forgetting how he had once worked in the same team.

Quite a number of people just couldn't wait to watch him fall.

Anyway, I don't think I want to continue the rest of the story cos it doesn't matter now. All I want to say is, all humans make mistake(s). It's really your attitude after the mistake that decides if you should be forgiven. Unfortunately, said guy wasn't apologetic and he was desperately looking for loopholes to cover his ass with.

Some people just don't deserve to be forgiven.

2007-05-16T12:41:00.000+08:00

Things i foresee will happen to me

1) Spraining my ankle for the nth time

I've given up keeping count on the number of times i've sprained my left ankle. With the amount of running that I do (e.g. jogging, rapid jay-walking across heavy traffic junctions, running after the bus - yes, I do still take buses, etc), it's most likely this will happen to me again.

2) Falling down the escalator in my office building AND the stairs in my home

I have this intense premonition that it's a matter of time before I forget to hold on to the handrails on the escalator and lose my grip while frantically rummaging through my bag for my employee card. Then, I will fall backwards and tumble down the escalator and I would most likely cut myself and end up with a broken hip.

The stairs in my home formed an L-shaped pattern and is beautifully grilled with wrought iron. However, the non-grilled part faces the wall and given that I've had a few near-missed incidents at losing my balance while climbing the stairs (and I think these are actually warning signs), it's most likely one of these days I'm gonna slip and hit my face on the wall before tumbling down the rest of the steps, breaking my arm during the process. I do hope I break my left arm though, so, even if I can't write, I still have strength in my right arm to hit people.

This also brings to mind an incident last week. I was out with a friend and we were on the escalator at the Lido cineplex, and I asked him if he would hold on to me if i'm gonna slip (which meant, he might tumble down the escalator with me), to which he replied, "Then you don't be clumsy lah! If you choose to be clumsy, how can people help you?!"

My dear friend, clumsiness is not by choice. You can choose to be more careful, but you can't choose not to be clumsy. I'm just born like that, you know?

3) Seeing a shrink

My emotional and mental balance have tilted by quite a fair bit recently. I snapped at little things that are not going my way (which happens almost everyday) and I kept imaginging how it will go when I finally get hold of a gun where I can bring to the office and shoot everyone there. Well, maybe not everyone. There are some nice chaps around. But I would like to shoot my phone first, so it'll stop ringing. haha ... I'm kidding of course. I can't get a gun in Singapore. I'll just use my kitchen knife instead.

I find myself talking a lot more (to myself), and my emotions go up and down like a yo-yo. I frequently tear for no reason during travelling time alone (in the car) and since I don't fancy the idea of sharing all my thoughts to someone else I keep a lot of it in. If I don't see a shrink soon, I might explode, which would be a disgusting sight.

4) Getting fat

What's new? With the amount of work, numerous visits to the hospital and time to catch up with people that matter, I hardly find time to exercise. It's a matter of time before I become a fat, old bitch.

I have quite an uneventful life, eh?

2007-05-09T23:05:00.000+08:00

REVIEW

I'm on course these few days and today is the first day.

Even though it's a relatively short insight into the chemicals industry, it has been very interesting. We learnt the uses of chemicals and how it's being produced.

Then I remembered some big shot ever mentioning during some awareness session that the chemicals companies are always being criticized for damage to environment and the community and emptying the earth's resources (oil) and so on.

The thing is, I wonder if the critics know the kind of materials that are being produced from chemicals, and if they do, then they would realise that it's impossible to do without chemicals in our lives.

Some examples of products that are being produced from chemicals include:

- The foam in the mattress you lie on
- The dashboard in your car
- The nice-smelling shampoo you use on your head
- The panadol you consume when you experience headaches
- The polyester used in fabrics (including swim suits)
- car tyres
- the plastic plate that your children are using

and almost a lot of many other things you find in your home. Basically, anything remotely related to plastics.

If the critics are unhappy about pollution to the environment, then I've nothing to say. Although I want to mention that many chemical companies actually do take a lot of extra care to make sure they minimize such damage. However, if these so-called critics are concerned about using up the earth's resources, then they'd better not be using any of the products that are being produced from chemicals. Which means, they gotta be using:

- wooden utensils
- banana leaves as clothes
- paper cups
- wooden chairs
- stones as toys for their children
- no TV or audio systems at all

and they had better not paint their homes cos paints are made from chemicals as well.

Also, if they're indeed using things made of wood, they should be criticized too, from cutting down too many trees.

I hope someone can provide some insight on what critics do for a living. Do they just criticise and get paid? Does anyone criticise their criticisms? Who gave them the right to criticise anything they don't see eye-to-eye to? I always get a feeling that critics are sad, lonely (and sexless) people so they want to take it out on everyone else. Unless you're a food critic.

Oh by the way, I still gotta work from home every night after the whole-day course in the day. I need some good massages.

Get the hint?

2007-04-30T00:43:00.000+08:00

Meet your Maker

At any point in life, anyone that I've come across would tell me that the best way to die, or rather the way they prefer to die, is to die in their sleep. Yes, that would, indeed be the most painless way to go. But what if you don't earn enough good kharma points for that to happen?

So if you have to, IF you have to, which way of dying would you choose?

1) Drowning

Either in your own bath tub or in a swimming pool. You'll struggle for a few minutes before you'll lose consciousness.

2) Dying of cancer

It's painful and long, but knowing that you'll gonna die, chances are you'll have enough time to finish your unfulfilled wishes and spend as much time as possible with your loved ones.

3) Freak accident

It would happen so fast that you wouldn't know it's happening. If you die on the spot, it'll be pretty painless I guess.

4) Jumping off your flat

This would classify as suicide, cos otherwise, it would be classed as freak accident. Takes a hell lot of courage though. But you make the choice, and it'll be quick, though, it might be painful for a few seconds before u die.

5) Striked by lightning

Although such things only happen to people who's been evil to their parents or something. Or to people who are very suay, e.g. Sian.

6) Stabbed by a robber

Very painful and dulan. Doubt anyone will choose this method.

hehe .... the things I think of and blog about when i'm bored =p Please bear with me.

2007-04-18T23:58:00.000+08:00

RAGE

The bedsheet that I hung outside the window was stained with some stale or rotten curry/chilli. Apparently, some bastard who lived upstairs conveniently threw some bloody leftovers or rotten food out of the window and one of my favourite bedsheets was unfortunate enough to be tarnished by this thoughtless act.

I soaked it in detergent, hoping it would be easier to clean off. Not only are the stains difficult to be cleaned off, it smells damn bad. Even after two days, it still smells like i've dumped the entire pot of rotten food in my toilet. FUCK.

For the first time in my blog, i just wanna say...

NABEH CHEEBYE

I hope that inconsiderate prick get his face scalded by his next pot of stinking curry.

2007-04-13T00:11:00.000+08:00

Mmmm .....

When I was young and enjoyed reading fashion magazines, I would always wonder what it means to have an orgasm whenever I came across this word. You read about it so much in magazines or through online means, but how many has actually experienced it? What does multiple orgasms mean? How does it happen?

Now that I am grown up and more experienced (ahem!), I would like to share my knowledge with everyone else (well, not everyone else but you people who read this blog).

The behaviour:

1) Panting (taking very short breaths) or holding your breath

2) Grabbing (anything around you)

3) Noise (which will in turn bring you to point no. 2 when you are not in an environment where you can make a lot of noise)

The physical:

1) Body-bending (not the kind you do in gymnastics)

2) Lip-biting

3) Shutting of eyes or opening your eyes widely

4) Tilting of pelvis

The emotions:

1) You feel such an overwhelming high that you know you'll never need drugs. Ever.

2) You forget where you are

3) Those who ring your mobile at this time automatically goes into your hate-list.

4) You feel closer emotionally to the other party

The after-effects:

1) Giddiness

2) Relaxed and Drowsiness

3) Thirst (from the panting)

Of course, the above just applies to me. Needn't necessary be the same for every girl.

Just imagine going through the above over and over and over again ......

Multiple orgasms. One of the natural wonders of the world.

Oh, I do feel sorry for the opposite sex who gets to experience only once at a time. But God is fair, you know? This brings me to a joke that I read quite a long time ago:

So, God had created Adam and Eve and he was rummaging through his bag to see if he had missed out anything to give to both of them.

Then he held out a piece of flesh, approximately 3 inches long, wondering who he should give this to. Then Adam cried out, "Oh God! Please give this to me! It would look so good on my body and make me so much more manly and different from Eve. Please God! Please!"

Eve, being a woman (and thus, having a more giving nature), said "Please, God. Since Adam wants it so much, please give it to him."

And so, God gave Adam the piece of flesh which he attached on the lower half of his body. But God thought, "But it would be unfair to Eve if I don't give her something additional."

So God began rummaging through his bag .... "Ok, let's see what do I have here..... Hmm .... Multiple orgasms...."

I just love this joke =)

*********

By the way, I would love it if some guys can share with me what their orgasms feel like.

And I don't mean you, Sian. Eating KFC is not equivalent to getting orgasms.

2007-04-03T23:25:00.000+08:00

What you ought to know

(Do not continue reading if you're below 18 and that means you, Yiks)

Dear Aunt Agony

My parents just told me they're getting a divorce. But I don't want them to be separated. What can I do?

Sad Boy

Dear Sad Boy

When parents get divorced, the one thing they're afraid of (apart from unfair allocation of assets and money) is their child getting hurt through this process. Because of this, they will shower more love and concern on you. Which means that you will be getting the right to asking for more allowances to make up for the trauma ==> richer

The halving of parental control also mean that you will be getting more freedom. Which means that you will get to hang out a lot more at malls or arcades after school, and maybe even playing traunt. If your parents scold you, you can turn the tables back on them saying they did this to you ==> justification of becoming a brat.

You should be getting ready to enjoy your life =)

Dear Aunt Agony

My boyfriend asked me to give him a blow job, but I refused. I'm afraid he would leave me. What should I do?

Non-blower

Dear Non-blower

If your reason for not wanting to give him a blow job, is because you think it's too dirty, juz go give it a wash. After that, you can take this chance to brush up on what I consider to be one of the most important skills in life.

I have no advice for moral-related reasons.

Dear Aunt Agony

I love playing with my girlfriend's tits. Wy do i love her tits so much?

Tits-lover

Dear Tits Lover

Because they're soft and squeezable, and becos you don't have them.

Dear Aunt Agony

How can I make my dick longer?

Short Dick

Dear Short Dick

You're getting it wrong. A long dick doesn't make any difference. A thick dick does.

From my experience, hornier guys have bigger dicks. So make yourself more horny and wank everyday. The movements will help you with size without incurring extra costs.

Dear Aunt Agony

I have exceptionally small breasts, but my boyfriend said size doesn't matter. Is that true?

Confused

Dear Confused

Of course not. He said that only to get you into bed. I bet he's sleeping with another girl now.

Dear Aunt Agony

My teacher is a very nice man. But he likes to touch me on my shoulders or my inner thighs, or accidentally slides his hand over my behind when he talks to me. Yesterday, he asked me to go over to his home so that he can give me more personalised tuition in a much more comfortable environment. What should I do?

Adrian

Dear Adrian

Congratulations. You now have a higher chance of scoring better in school and having your G-spot (situated inside your anus) stimulated. Most guys I know don't get such an opportunity. Go ahead to get that personalised tuition.

Dear Aunt Agony

Recently, a friend of mine was invited to watch a very expensive musical by a gorgeous babe. He is much uglier than me, while I also have a much bigger dick. Why do I not get such offers from gorgeous girls?

Pissed

Dear Pissed

You may have a bigger dick, but are you a dick in person? Remember that the bad guys get all the girls. Learn to be more stingy, inconsiderate, and mould yourself into an asshole (not literally). That way, you'll get all the girls no matter how you look.

Dear Aunt Agony

I've been feeling very miserable ever since I broke up with my boyfriend. I'm so hurt that I feel like dying. What should I do?

Depressed

Dear Depressed

Well, there are a lot of cures for this. Ecstasy pills or marijuana can help you. If you don't have the cash, try taking a lot of cough syrup.

Dear Aunt Agony

My mommy said that pre-marital sex will send me straight to hell. Is this true?

Choo Choo

Dear Choo Choo

If this is true, I would have gained permanent residency in hell. But I'm still here, ain't I?

By the way, you have an ugly name.

Aunt Agony runs the Q&A column in Pre-teens magazine.

2007-03-20T21:08:00.000+08:00

Building castles ...

I had this dream that I was offered a job at our competitor with a huge pay raise and good bonus. Then when I started work, the office was really quiet and everyone was totally engrossed in their work.

It turned out that everyone was playing games on their PC.

wah.

I so wish I didn't have to wake up.

2007-03-15T00:01:00.000+08:00

It's a crazy world

Just the other day, I was walking my dog around the neighbourhood. We were at the park, when out of nowhere, I saw a black rabbit hopping around.

I tried to chase after it, but fatigue got the better of me (and my baby), so i gave up after a while.

weird, eh? We see stray dogs, stray cats, and now, we have stray rabbits.

============================

I managed to catch a little bit of TV last weekend, and there was this program on odd things happening around the world. Apparently, there is a calf in some country that, instead of eating grass alone, eats live chicks.

They played a video where the calf was gently chewing on the grass and when some chicks walk into the patch of grass he was chewing on, he engulfed the chick into his mouth and started chewing. Which was why the chicks have been going missing in the farm.

What the hell? I thought cows are vegetarians.

=============================================

There is this shitzu that lives on what i reckoned is the second level of my block. He comes down every night to walk about and pee and takes the stairs back home after that. I never saw his owner.

So today, I saw him again with my dog and thought they could be friends. But said shitzu always runs away when he sees my dog and he did the same this time. I chased after him (actually my dog chased after him; i was pulled along by his leash) and said shitzu ran up the fleet of stairs and stopped to look back at us when he reached the top. I managed to get a hold of my dog when he was halfway on the stairs.

When i looked up at the shitzu's face, it suddenly gave me the creeps.

He looked so human.

To the extent that I thought he's a human trapped in a dog's body. Which is why he always runs away when he sees other dogs (contrary to normal dog's behavior) to avoid getting humped by them.

Is the world crazy, or am i crazy?

2007-03-01T23:54:00.000+08:00

Relatives that will kill you

Slightly more than a month ago, Mr BF's mom was diagnosed with stage 4 of lung cancer. The doctor said she doesn't have much time left, as in, with therapy, her life can be prolonged by a year and a half.

Since then, we've been doing all kinds of research on the types of food she should be taking, the kind of stuff she should abstain from and so on. Which also meant that we had to do a lot more grocery shopping for healthier foods and suddenly I was going to the hospital very often. Although, she did finally get discharged and could rest at home.

On Monday, we received a call late at night saying that his mom was feeling very unwell and needed to go to the hospital immediately. We rushed down only to find the flat crowded with people, all fussing over his mom. In fact, they had called for an ambulance, which I thought was a wiser choice since the medics that come along would know how to handle the situation better than us.

When the medics came, they said that they would send her to Changi Hospital since it was the nearest hospital. Protests came immediately from the hordes of relatives saying that she had been going to SGH and that they would have her records and such. They argued loudly for quite a long while with the paramedics. The medics explained that:

1) The ambulance should always take the patients to the nearest hospitals cos any further delays can cause more damage or pain to the patients

and

2) 995 is not a service only meant for your family. There are others who need this service and each patient they service had to be send to the nearest hospital to cut short the time needed to spend on each patient.

Both are extremely reasonable explanations which I agreed with totally.

But said relatives were unconvinced asking "why it was so difficult for them to send her to SGH". They insisted that if they weren't taking her to SGH, they would send her to the hospital themselves.

I got so pissed and had I not been an outsider, I would have told them to juz get the fuck out of the house.

If this had been a critical situation, were they going to be fucking responsible if something was to happen along the way to the hospital?

But for the sake of Mr BF's mom, Mr BF stopped the arguing and just told the paramedics that we would send her to the hospital ourselves. The medics, even though exasperated with the relatives, still were very patient with his mom and reminded her that if the pain was unbearable, she would have to get to the hospital by an ambulance.

Then 2 days later, we ran into same relatives in the hospital. One of them, which I shall call, Bitch Aunt, took Mr BF aside and starting interogating him. Asking him if he had questioned the doctor on what she was suffering from and such. Mr BF had explained before that she was suffering from cancer, and there was a tumour in her lung and had spread to the bone blah blah blah. But Bitch Aunt refused to accept this and started questioning him like he was responsible for what had happened. I tried to cut in, explaining the situation cos I was fucking pissed with her fucking attitude, but she kept ignoring me.

The final straw came when she asked if the doctors had planned any medical program for his mom and what the chances are and so on. Mind you, she spoke as if the hospital is the one responsible for his mom's condition and we all owe her a living or something. Mr BF only remained quiet which added to my frustration. I cut in finally, getting her eye contact, and told her that the hospital already didn't think she could be cured. In the words of the doctor, "I can prolong her life with chemotherapy, but I can't cure her. Cancer is incurable."

Having said that, Bitch Aunt fell silent. It had finally get into her head.

But not for long, cos she started questioning us on her food intake, on why his mom was not eating meat and not eating well when she needs lotsa nourishment. We had done our research and while the hospital wouldn't stop you from eating whatever you want to eat (cos they think u're gonna die sooner or later, so may as well feed you whatever you want), meat will actually feed the cancer cells which may worsen her condition. We fight, with the belief that she would recover eventually. It has happened for other cancer patients; so there is a chance that it would happen to her as well.

Bitch Aunt, realising that she was not able to win this argument, backed off. I swear I would have slapped her right there and then if she had continued. Of course, my temper had been fueled by my lack of sleep these days.

Other than Bitch Aunt, there were other stupid relatives who advised Mr BF's mom not to undergo radiotherapy becos they said it would kill her straight away. I do not deny there are side-effects of going for such therapies but it was necessary becos the tumour was bleeding and if the bleeding is not stopped, it could lead to sudden death. The relatives didn't know what they were talking about, given that they do not know the actual situation. As if things aren't bad enough, Mr BF's mom doesn't have much will power and would listen to anyone. She started questioning the radio therapy, saying why would her family want to make her go through that when she didn't have to.

Oh, and Bitch Aunt brought Mr BF's mom to some Taoist priest who made her drink some water with some leaves inside, saying it would cure her cos apparently, she didn't get cancer, she was just suffering from disturbance from some bad spirits. What the fuck?!

And she actually believed the priest cos she was still hoping that the hospital had made a wrong diagnosis and that it was just a lung infection and nothing else.

It was bloody frustrating.

Argh.

There were a lot of incidents and ill advise that I would want to rant about, but given that I'm getting more and more pissed off while typing this post, I shall stop here.

And i just wanna say, you motherfuckers who don't fucking know a single fucking thing, just fucking shut up. You are not fucking doctors who don't know the entire picture so just shut your trap. Your so-called advise, which is just a lot of bullshit, will only do more harm than good.

p.s. I would like to apologise to my friends whom I have not been contacting lately. As you would know from this post, I have been extremely busy and tired. Will try to do coffee when I can.

2007-02-24T00:35:00.000+08:00

Slog

You know, Asia is a terrible place to work in.

The Asians are well-known for doing a lot of dirty work for very little money. It’s only in Asia that you get people working almost every day of the week, forfeiting time with family, sleep and any recreational activities for the sake earning a miserable pay just to put food on the table. Okay, maybe in other continents, they do that too, but somehow, Asia is a well-known place for exploiting human beings.

And it’s not just in third world countries; even in developed countries, such things happen.

So I was at work today, and as it’s still CNY, many people are on still on leave, enjoying the full mood of this festive season. (And to show my team spirit, I decided not to take any leave so that those with children can have a longer period to rest). Big-Ass customer (BAC) called up to arrange for some deliveries tomorrow but I told them we’re unable to deliver as per usual, early in the morning, because our logistic provider (LP) is facing a shortage of drivers. Apparently, some of the drivers are still on leave and LP has to manage with a smaller pool of drivers.

BAC was not ready to back down and insisted they must have all their deliveries within the same hour. Of course, I communicated the same to our LP. LP said if that’s the case, he would have to recall the driver back, thus eliminating his leave. The leave that his company had promised him.

It made me so sad to hear this.

I was brought back memories of those times when I was working with an LP myself, and my ops manager would tell me how little the drivers earn. Each container that they send to port would earn them only 4 bucks per trip. That’s soooo fucking miserable. When they ferry a different type of container, they get a bit more, but that’s still so little. Their company, on the other hand, is charging customer between 80 to 120 bucks per trip.

Most of them would get to rest only during CNY, and some of them don’t even do that, because vessels call our dear port every freaking day, and people are needed to send the containers to port.

But I know that in giant-sized companies, they don’t care about such things.

“You’ve signed a contract with us; so you have to deliver. We don’t fucking care if your people are not resting enough or don’t have enough time for their families. We want to earn our millions or billions of dollars, so we do not give a damn about your workers’ welfare.”

It is times like this, that make me feel that sometimes, being in a small company is better. Generally, in small organizations, the bosses tend to be closer to their employees and are more concerned about their well-being. Of course, not all bosses are like that. But I have been really fortunate to have been in small companies where the bosses are concerned enough when you don’t look well and seem troubled.

But, this is still Asia. My sources and my experience tell me that in US, Europe or in Australia, anytime you mention you have family trouble, you will be released from work. Cos nothing else comes first. And nothing else should.

So I guess unless I decide to move overseas, I have to be working my ass off every day. This really sucks.

2007-02-15T18:07:00.000+08:00

I guess that pretty much sums up my Valentine's Day.

UPDATED:

My dog was found the next day. Apparently, the poster worked, and someone informed us that he had sighted our dog at his neighbour's house.

My baby was picked up that very hour that I received the phone call.

2007-02-06T23:41:00.000+08:00

Life is ...

... not just the number of friends' shoulders whom you cry on, but also the number of friends who cry on your shoulder.

... not juz being there for your family when they need you, but also the times when they want you there.

... not the number of lips you've kissed, but the kisses that take your breath away.

... doing your best not juz in jobs that you like, but also jobs that you hate.

... not the number of movies you've watched, but the movies that teared or stirred you emotionally.

... not juz having someone to hold when you're down, but someone to hug when you're watching TV.

... not the number of books you've read, but the amount of knowledge that you share.

... laughing not only because of hilarious jokes, but also because you're truly happy.

... not the number of kids you've had, but the number you've nurtured.

... not about the people that you loved, but the ways you've displayed your love.

... not about having a big house, but having a home.

... not about playing mahjong on Friday nights, but having the company of 3 others who share a similar interest.

... not about the number of people you've slept with, but the amount of orgasms you've had.

... not juz bringing joy to people whom you love, but also those who need them.

... not about looking youthful, but being young spiritually.

Lastly, life is not about the number of people who would be attending your funeral, but those, whose lives you had played a part in shaping.

2007-01-31T18:53:00.000+08:00

Right/Wrong Questions/Answers

Sian posted an entry about the right answers to the wrong questions, but I think he didn't elaborate enough. Well, i'm not surprised, given that brain of his. So being a very good friend, I 'll add on to his pathetic entry with illustrations of the kind of shit you'll be facing with your "wrong" answers.

Difficult Question #01: Am I fat?

While the correct answer is No, I must add that guys must answer this question like it's a reflex (such as blinking your eyes when dust gets in) ==> +5 points

Or another way to score, is to look into her eyes for 1.2 seconds, frown a little and say, "NO. Why would you ever think that?" ==> +10 points.

If you hesitate before you answer, and you answer NO ==> -15 points (becos you hesitated, so it means you're lying)

If you look her up and down before you answer, and you answer NO ==> -5 points (becos you're supposed to know her body so well that you should know whether she is fat or not when she asks you)

Difficult Question #02: That girl is very pretty right?

Note that this question is the same as, "Is your Ex pretty?"

"Nay, not really." ==> no extra points (it is expected of you to answer like this)

"Compared to you? No way." ==> either +10 points (cos she will think that you really feel that she is much more prettier than That Girl) or -10 points (cos she will think that you really feel that girl is really pretty, juz not prettier than her). Well, there are all sorts of risks in life.

*Look at her in a puzzled manner* "What girl??" ==> +30 points. For obvious reasons.

On the other hand, if you say:

"Ok lah." ==> -10 points (cos you think she is pretty but don't wanna admit it)

"Yeah." ==> -105 points (and she will sulk for the rest of the night)

"Are you kidding? She's gorgeous." ==> -800 points (and you need to spend the next one year pacifying her).

Difficult Question #03: If me and your mum fall into the ocean, who will you rescue huh?

Personally, i hate this question and i don't think any self-respecting girl should ever ask your guy that.

"You" ==> +5 points

"You, of course" or "You, without a doubt" ==> +20 points

"My mom" ==> -30 points

"My mom, of course" ==> -150 points

Oh, and just so you know, when such questions are asked, girls expect to be answered in very serious manner cos these are supposed to be serious questions.

If you answer with a laugh saying she must be joking and such, ==> - 80 points (cos you dont take her seriously.)

Yeah, it's tough being a guy. But it's no piece of cake being a woman either. More of that next time.

2007-01-19T18:05:00.000+08:00

Shiok

My company launched a particular exercise today where everyone on my floor all has to work from home.

This is just so in the event that our office gets bombed by terrorists, business can still proceed as usual.

So i stayed up late last nite playing games, and slept until 8.45am this morning. Woke up to log on and went back to bed till 11 plus. There was a pile work to be done by then, but i managed to finish all while also doing the laundry, housework and buying groceries.

It was a day very much made good use of. If only we can work from home perpetually.

Somtimes I secretly wish somebody would just bomb my entire office building.

2007-01-15T20:25:00.000+08:00

Insanity on its way

You know, crazy people, or rather, people who are not very sane tend to laugh to themselves.

I always wonder what is so funny?

And I got my answer today.

*********

The morning started with mad rush, as usual, and when I thought it was going to be a fine day ahead (despite the crazy amount of work cos I felt I've gone accustomed to it), I got a phone call from a giant-ass customer today asking me why they've not received their orders. This customer, is in the drug industry and their orders are a huge deal and each delivery must arrive at their premises at 9.30am in the morning each time. It was already 10.20am when they phoned me up.

So I told then I'll check of course, although I already sensed that bad news was coming up.

Before I decided to yell at our vendor, I went into my company's big-ass complicated system and realised that their order had been blocked when they placed it on Friday, and I, had overloooked on unblocking it.

Which means, our vendor did not receive the order, and therefore no delivery.

Suddenly, my hands went cold, thinking of what would happen from here.

You see, had it been any other customer (except for those in the drug industry of course), it would have been fine. We'll just try to see if we could get our other vendors to make a last minute delivery.

But this vendor is particularly fussy and would only accept cargo that had been delivered by this particular transport company becos of ISO thingy, and blah blah blah bullshit. And i know it's nearly impossible to ask this vendor to do a last minute delivery cos a) it's a Monday which means it's mad rush to stock up at every other giant-ass company and vendor's schedule would be packed, and b) their equipment would have been used up.

In addition, becos this customer is so big-fat-ass (i can't stress that enough), they need to run production everyday and our inability to deliver as ordered could very well result in a shut-down in their production lines. Which means my overlook on my job can cause my customer a lot of money.

Thankfully, I have always restrained myself from yelling at said vendor even when they screw up because i know one of these days, i would need favours from them.

So I spoke to vendor coordinater and asked for afternoon deliveries to giant-ass customer and he tried (i'm giving him the benefit of doubt here, cos I really dont know if he really tried) to schedule an afternoon delivery for one load of order. My customer ordered 2 loads but coordinater insisted there was no way they would schedule another delivery. I had to phone up vendor's director and explained my situation to him and get him to help.

He managed to schedule one more load of delivery for me but all the deliveries will come in the late afternoon. My customer insisted that all deliveries must arrive latest by 4pm, but it looked like the second delivery wasn't gonna make it.

So my whole morning, up till lunch time, was spent making phone calls to customer, apologising, and to the vendor, pushing them to deliver before deadline. I lost my entire appetite for lunch by the way.

Then in the afternoon, every now and then, I would call up our plant to check if the vendor has arrived to collect the order so that I would know what would be the best time to advise my customer when the order would arrive. It's sort of a good customer service thingy to keep your customer updated when you screwed up their order. Hah. Talk about irony.

The second load finally left our plant at 4.10pm (even though they were supposed to arrive at 2.45pm so that they could leave around 3.30pm but what the hell). I left a voice message on customer's phone (which I did feel a bit thankful that she wasn't around to pick up the phone) that the order would be late by around 15min. After all, it doesn't take long to travel from Pandan to Tuas, does it?

So, the whole day was crazed, with endless adrenaline pumping throughout (I had other crazy situations with other customers at the same time).

I looked at my watch at 5pm, and my phone had stopped ringing.

No News is good news.

So I guess the order was delivered, somewhat late, but my customer had made do nonetheless, and it's case closed. The day is finally over.

I was about to shut down my PC at 5.35pm when giant-ass customer called.

"Eh! It's already 5.30pm and the second load hasn't arrived! Can you please go check with xxx (vendor)?"

Then she went on about how they could not accept late deliveries and people had to be specially engaged to stay for overtime to receive the cargo and do a sample testing before the parcel can be poured into their tank. Oh, it's liquid chemicals I'm talking about. And blah blah blah.

So, i had to call up the vendor and have them checked and they replied that it would be delivered within the next 5 minutes. I demanded to know the reason for the long travelling time, and person on the phone said in a most nonchalant manner ... "oh .... I think ... the driver was driving slowly lah..."

I nearly had a heart attack.

1) they knew this was a very very rush order and there is no cause for driving slowly

2) This is a damn bloody stupid excuse.

I made person-on-the-phone call up the driver again to enquire why the delivery was so late. He called up several minutes later and said, the truck had a punctured tyre.

I had no idea why, but at this comment, I burst out laughing.

Person-on-the-phone tried to convince me further by saying, "No no, this is original. I'm not bluffing you."

I laughed even more. Whether to believe him or not didn't matter. I mean, I needn't keep my customer waiting and could have come up with this story myself.

I didn't think my customer would buy this story, but she did. Then of course, she went on to tell me about their SOPs and blah blah blah. Oh, but she didn't yell at me. Thank god for that. I hate to be yelled at.

*************

So i realised that insane people don't laugh because it's funny. Maybe they experienced just so many shocks within one day or a short period of time that the big vein in their head had popped and laughing is just a way to express it. Better than crying though.

I'm not saying I'm mad.

I'm juz saying im on my way to insanity.

So, how was your Monday?

p.s. To those sons of bitches and assholes and bastards who thought I had died from the food poisoning, I am still very well alive and kicking. And i'm gonna kick all your lousy arses one of these days.

2007-01-07T22:17:00.000+08:00

SICK

I'm now in a lot of pain and discomfort.

My tummy has been hurting badly and despite crawling to the clinic at 2am last nite and getting poked by one of my most feared objects (needles), I am still not well.

Spoke to a friend about my predicament, and he commented that I probably shouldn't go to work tomorrow. I insisted that i must go to work, cos there was something that I had forgotten to do on Thursday and I must go to office to get it done.

"Adrenaline, it's just work, you know?"

Then I realised that I have been too obssessed with work.

The only thing that's on my mind when I'm crouching on my sofa is how I wouldn't be able to complete the work that I've left outstanding.

The strange thing is, I have been all about work-life-balance throughout my life. "Work hard, play hard" has always been my philosophy.

Maybe it's been too much of playing hard and not working hard enough, and my kharma is catching up with me.

And i don't know why I'm still on blogger.

Okay, i gotta head to the clinic now. Will update once I'm well (hopefully in 24 hours).

2007-01-05T00:01:00.000+08:00

2nd Marriage?

A few years back, I went to a fortune teller or someone of that sort, to have my fortune told.

Actually, I don't really care about what would happen in the future. It just comes, good or bad, you take it as it is. That's life. I went just for fun, cos even though I've had a lot of shit in my life, I just know that I would have a good life ahead. A good life, meaning, I needn't necessarily be rich or have everything, but simply, I'll be a happy person.

Anyway, one thing that this person told me was, I would have two marriages in my life.

While it didn't bother me that much, I distinctly recalled someone with a similar background (fortune-telling ability) telling me the same thing before.

I went home that day and told my mom what happened. I was expecting her to respond with something to the effect of, "Aiyah! What rubbish!". But she didn't. She just kept quiet.

After a long pause, she said to me ... "Sometimes two marriages needn't necessarily mean that you find another person as a husband. Some couples, in the beginning years of a marriage, find a lot of difficulty living with each other to the extent that they almost split up. But instead of doing so, they find help or ways to learn to accommodate and re-love each other. That, is also the beginning of a new marriage. And that, could be the second marriage he (the fortune teller) was talking about."

It was one of those few times that I found my mom to be so wise. Usually, I was the one giving her advice on things to do (e.g. stop stuffing her wardrobe with new clothes that she doesn't get to wear often), or things not to do (e.g. gossiping) and acting as her pillar of support. But wisdom do come with age and life experiences, and her theory of the second marriage thingy proves this point well. (Although I did secretly play with the thought that she said this so that I would end up marrying Mr BF whom she simply adores).

Three cheers to my mother. She may not have been perfect, but she really is the best mom for me.

2006-12-25T23:33:00.000+08:00

UPDATED...

Food for thought

Newly-wed.

How are newy-weds supposed to feel??

Excited? Anticipation for the future?

Are we supposed to do everything together? My mom told me that as newly-weds we should go to gatherings together as a couple. Sort of as a "sign" of being newly-wedded.

However, apart from gatherings with his friends and our uni friends, we have been doing everything else apart.

"Somehow i don't get the feeling of being a newly-wed. Do you?"

*pauses and think*

"No leh. But i guess it's because we've planned the wedding for the past one year and it's already sink into us. Or maybe we've been too tired out for the wedding."

*Silence*

Of course I know better why we don't get that form of anticipation and excitement. But he doesn't.

**************************

On a different note, it's been a relatively nice X'mas. The only more noisy gathering was the one with uni friends where we had a BBQ, played some games and did a gift exchange. I think secret santa is a great idea. For close friends only of course. It's quite fun to think of funny things you can get for your friends and seeing the expressions on their face.

I spent quite a fair bit for the gift exchange. But knowing the receiver genuinely liked the gift, I think it's pretty worth it.

Did another gathering at Bec's place. We have all grown up. Nowadays, we talk about cost of weddings, pregnancy, labour and cost of living. Not that I don't enjoy hanging out with them and talking about grown-up stuff, it's just such talk reminds me of how I'm much I'm aging.

I hate the idea of growing old. I have this thought at the back of my mind that if I had been born in some old village that has no contact with civilization, I would have become one of those witches that prey on young virgins' blood so as to remain youthful. Of course, it's just a thought. I don't like the smell of blood actually.

Finally did another gathering with Mr BF's friends. We had a movie marathon which I participated only after 2 movies. They're always rowdy and tend to talk more about things that don't weigh so much on your mind. They're good company for taking your mind off unhappy matters.

But I seriously miss hanging out with my poly mates. Gatherings with them is usually laugh, play and be merry. It's like we never left school. I think everyone need such company once in a while. We should always feed the child in us.

Basically, most friends are either happily married, blissfully anticipating the birth of a new baby, or loving their life.

I love seeing my friends happy. It makes me happy.

But there is a dear friend of mine who is rather unhappy recently. There is nothing I can do for him right now. At least not right now. But I sincerely hope that things will turn out well for him. I really do.

You know who you are. I'm not sure how long you have to wait. But please take care of yourself during this time. I'm pretty sure she is already thinking of a way to ease your heartaches.

MERRY X'MAS EVERYONE. AND HAVE A GREAT YEAR AHEAD.

Updated:

I'm pretty disappointed that no one seemed to have read my post on my hen nite. Scroll down. It's the previous x 2 post.

2006-12-18T00:26:00.000+08:00

Tired

As you might know, I hosted a wedding last Friday.

I'm too tired to blog about it now; will do so when i finally have the time.

Just wanna say a huge, huge THANK YOU to all those that helped out during this event. You know who you are.

Also, I received an angbao with the name Lorenzo. If not for the somewhat generous amount, I would have kicked this person's ass.

will update soon. stay tuned.

2006-12-18T00:08:00.000+08:00

Dear Wen

I owe you an apology. Read on to know why.

I started the night with lotsa anticipation and excitement, wondering what the girls had in store for me. I knew they wouldn't let me off easy, given how I've done the same to a previous girlfriend before. But I do think you didn't have to go through as much embarrassment as I did; your friends didn't make you walk around in that undergarment they bought you in public. Not that I did, but to walk around in Holland Village with a long feathery pink sash, along with some bridal lace on my head, and to top it up with a pair of horns really did it. I heard laughter, woo-hooing and had lotsa stares on me. Hell, I was dressed to kill but all the extra stuff on me almost killed me. I swear a little boy cried when i got near. The only thing on my mind then was to get really drunk. Quick.

Your friends didn't get you to perform physical acts on total strangers, but mine sure did! Apart from having to kiss a total stranger on the cheek, I had the "pleasure" of having to sit on the laps of 3 different guys (strangers as well). Not to mention having to lick whipped cream off someone's neck. The silver lining is, he wasn't that poor looking. But nothing tops having to find 2 different guys to spank me on my butt. I didn't think the task was difficult; it was difficult when you've finally gotten high enough to ask total strangers to help you with the task only to be met with rejection. Twice.

I mean, c'mon! It's me! How can I ever get rejected?! I've never been rejected before. Sure, I'm not mind-blowing hot but I don't deserve to get rejected! These men are so going to hell for saying no.

Now that part where this letter comes into relation with you is the later part of the night. It was weird, having a bunch of friends watch you while the opposite sex perform some form of dance on you and being blindfolded sure didn't help things. I shan't mention how physical things got, but really, it was dirty. As in, whipped cream was involved. At that moment, I thought of what I had once subjected you to. And true enough, like you said, your friends enjoyed it more than you did. Thankfully, I wasn't handcuffed (I'm sorry about the cuffs that I bought for you then). On the plus side, I've had the absolute pleasure of touching a six-pack for the first time. And I thank my lucky stars that this part of the program didn't get as wild as your night did.

The party had to end earlier than planned as I had gotten too dirty to go anywhere else. Home and a hot shower were the only things on my mind. It had been real fun nonetheless. I haven't heard such laughter from myself for a long while.

We ended the night around 1am and I headed home right away. I needed to get out of my tube top which was, by then, all sticky and wet.

And this, summarises my bachelorette party.

Take care of yourself, Wen. I hope your stag nite was as memorable as mine.

2006-12-05T13:15:00.000+08:00

I did it

I was late for the marathon, cos I overslept by half hour. Actually I got there at 6.30 when the race for the 21km was supposed to start but due to the hordes of sweaty men at the starting point, I couldn't get a headstart until the 10km for men did.

So I started running at 7am.

You know how people always talk about the light at the end of the tunnel? You run, and see the end of the road, and you think, "Okay, I'm just gonna U-Turn at the end, and I'll be making me way to the finishing point." ==> LIGHT

But there was no light. Hell, at the end of the tunnel, it was just another tunnel. And after that, it was another tunnel. And another tunnel ==> DARKNESS

I experienced several surges of temptations whenever I see fellow marathoners on the other side of the road where they're already heading back (note: i was late, not that i was slow). So many times, I was hoping to see some familiar face so that I can pretend to stop and chit-chat and make my way back with them without being noticed by the officials.

But, I persevered. Mainly because I didn't want to deal with the shame that i didn't complete what I had signed up for: 21.1 KM.

Besides, I had the company of a lovely boy who was not only entertaining but motivating as well. Throughout the way, we asked ourselves why we had signed up for something so torturing, which was only made more so on a Sunday morning. Yet, we joked and laughed and made the run much more easier for each other. Of course, we ran into Sian along the way and I went on for a long while on what a loser Sian is, to my companion.

After 15km, I was on the verge of giving up, particularly with the blisters that had surfaced and I had to turn to another motivating source: Food.

N.B. The bananas given along the way were not considered food.

The only thing that came to my mind was Mac's Big Breakfast. Yes, I realised it was not only pathetic, but loser-ish to think of food as a form of motivation (think Sibeh Sian). So I kept thinking of how much I wanted to eat the scrambled eggs and such to keep myself going. It worked a little. Only a little, i think. heh.

I finished the run after 3 hours 40minutes or so, and was too late for breakfast cos i couldn't get to the carpark in time to fetch my wallet to buy the breakfast. I was left totally pissed cos i had to settle for KFC which is Sian's favourite food.

At the point where I was running the last kilometre, my companion asked me, "Would you sign up again next year?" I said no way, I'm just gonna do it this once.

But now that i think about it, I think I might do it again next year. Maybe.

2006-11-27T13:03:00.000+08:00

Annoucement

Not about me

For the benefit of those of you who doesn't realise, Mela, under my links, has been re-named as Mrs (Green) Ogre.

Being inevitably unfortunate (given the recent list of events), I was unable to take leave and be present for their solemnisation ceremony.

I was most bummed. Actually, I still am.

Nonetheless, I still feel happy for the two of them. Actually, I am happier for Ogre because obviously, he is luckier than her. We all like Mel; and for good reasons:

1. She can cook lotsa good stuff and she would invite us friends over for food tasting.

2. She bakes delicious cookies/cakes. Not only that, she would instruct Ogre to send the cookies or cakes to me just to cheer me up, knowing that I hadn't been in the best of moods. Oh, she serves cookies during mahjong sessions too. Hee.

3. She is beautiful.

4. She can tolerate his nonsense (erm, but we all know that birds of a feather flock together. keke), but I'm really not sure if she's heard him sing. Probably not. That's why she married him.

5. Given all the goodies she's fed me, I conclude that Mela is a fantastic gal because she is very good to Ogre's friends (although selectively only) and I like her very much.

So yeah, Green Ogre is a lucky (lousy) piece of shit.

Knowing that Ogre's gonna jump at my comments, I want to clarify why I am not stating why Ogre is good for Mela; because he's proud of being known as a bastard and wants to remain this way.

So, congratulations, you guys =)

***************************************

On a totally different note, a friend, whom i have not seen since last Nov, came back home and the first thing he said when he said me was,"Eh! How come you lost so much weight?!"

Firstly, I didn't lost a lot of weight. I just lost 2 kilos. But he has gained a fair bit of weight, thus the astonishment.

Secondly, I wasn't sure if I should feel happy. Losing weight is always good news to women - we never feel satisfied when looking down at the weighing machine. But knowing that my weight loss was due not just because of the regular runs, but because of loss of appetite and emotional matters, I really don't know if i should be happy about this.

2006-11-23T21:50:00.000+08:00

Thank you all for your concern. It seems to me that the wedding has to go on.

We can't communicate and can't understand each other.

I don't know what is going to happen. I only know that I won't be a happy bride.

2006-11-07T23:48:00.000+08:00

Random

Dull, is how I look

Enthusiasm, is absent

Pressure, is building up

Relax! They say,

Excitement, is what you should feel!

Sadly, that's not true; for

Sunken, is my heart.

The End.

2006-10-30T00:52:00.000+08:00

COMFORT

You remember when you were young, you would always sleep with this dirty, old pillow or blanket? I used to have a sarong for my security blanket. I travelled with it. If I didn't get to smell it or touch it when going to bed, i can't sleep. It's got this hold over me like a spell. Fortunately, I was still sane and didn't name my blanket, unlike some people.

As I grew up, my blanket started to tear and I was left with bits and pieces of it but my bedtime habit remained the same. The blanket even followed me to Aussie land. Until one time, my housemate chanced upon it and exclaimed, "What the hell is this?!"

It suddenly dawned on me that my security blanket had become a small piece of very old and ugly rag. I decided that I can't possibly spend the rest of my life holding on to that torn blanket. And from then on, I kept in my wardrobe (still didn't wanna throw it away cos the sarong was given by my late grandmother) and I do still steal a peek (and touch) once in a blue moon.

Why do we fancy our old pillows and security blankets so much?

1. Cos it brought us comfort.

2. Cos the smell is good (despite what your family/friends/spouse might say)

3. Cos it keeps us warm when we're cold.

4. Cos you've had it for too long and you can't bear to throw it away.

Does this sound familiar? Sometimes, it is not the old pillow or security blanket that you can't bear to throw away. There are times when you're in a relationship, and you're so comfortable with your partner that you think you're in love with him/her and you will spend the rest of your life together. You think that:

1. I don't want to live without him/her.

2. I trust no one else, other than him/her.

3. We laugh and joke and have fun together. It's so comfortable being with him/her.

Just like that old pillow, you feel comfortable with that special person. You can't bear to leave that person. But do you love him/her? We don't want to part with that smelly pillow/blanket, but that doesn't mean we love the pillow/blanket. We juz love the comfort that it brings.

I'm no expert, but I think you know whether you love a person or not with these signs:

For him:

1. You love the smell of her hair.

2. You love the way she laughs.

3. You whine like a baby, only in front of her.

4. When you miss her, your heart arches like it's being clenched.

5. You only want to have sex with her.

6. You think she's beautiful no matter what other people says.

7. You find yourself playing with her cats even though you're not a fan of house pets.

8. You realise that you want to protect her, always.

9. You love how she whines with you.

10. It kills you to see her cry.

For her:

1. You think he smells good even after a game of soccer.

2. You think he's damn "man" even though he's afraid of cockroaches.

3. You find him attractive, no matter what your friends say.

4. You find yourself constantly feeding his ego.

5. When you kiss him, the "current" is felt from head to toe.

6. You want to hold his hand only, and never let go.

7. You only want to be intimate with him.

8. You want to cook for him.

9. You only whine like a baby in front of him.

10. You cannot bear the thought of hurting him in any way.

Sure, the list goes on, but i'll just name these few.

Anyway, the reason why I brought it up is because I realised that I may be a security blanket for someone. A recent series of events brought me to this deduction. I shan't elaborate but it would appear to be so.

I had a discussion with Mr BF earlier and I asked him some questions, not expecting any answer. I just wanted him to think about what I said. If, in the event that he agrees with me, there might be no wedding to look forward to. Although it's kinda late to back out now because of the monetary and housing commitments, but we'll work it out somehow.

Oh, and sorry for the late of updates. Apart from my ill health, I have been too troubled to blog. Will try to update soon.

2006-10-24T22:31:00.000+08:00

SICK

The haze is making me very unwell. Apart from the sore throat, running nose and fever, I have been coughing for several days.

Which means that I can't train for the half marathon in December. ARGH.

Don't tell me to run on treadmills. I rather dislike the idea of mimicking a hamster.

Will try to update soon.

2006-10-16T00:30:00.000+08:00

Just a weekend

Had some nice relatives who came to town for the weekend. They visited my new home and commented on how nicely it's been done up. Had a nice dinner and a lot of questions were asked on the upcoming wedding - would I prefer gifts or cash, whether I have chosen my wedding gown, where we would be going for our honeymoon, etc etc etc.

So after they left, Mr BF and I were in the kitchen - he was washing some plates while I was clearing some stuff.

Me: Seems like my family's really excited about the upcoming wedding. Heh.

Mr BF: is that so?

Me: Yeah. My aunts have been trying to pick their outfit since the beginning of the year. Haha.

Mr BF: .....

*silence*

Me: So it would come as quite a shock to them, if I were to call off the wedding now, eh?

2006-10-12T00:13:00.000+08:00

Corporate Culture

Every company has their own culture. Like in the first company I worked for, men talked suggestively and make dirty jokes. But it was really funny and entertaining. In another firm I worked for, they put sex on the table and talk about it during lunch. Generally, the shipping and logistics industry is a sleazy, corrupted and vice-full one.

So you can imagine me finding myself in a totally foreign place in my present company. Nobody talks about sex and such. Nobody talks about affairs. Their jokes are so clean. If i talk about breasts, they'll laugh loudly like they've never heard it before. If I try to suggest something remotely related to sex, they'll giggle and hush me, like it's a forbidden secret.

Why like that?!

I like talking about sex. It's a universal topic that many jokes generate from. Apart from making fun of my friends on their appearances, e.g. ugly face, big tummy, etc., this is the other thing I can tease people on. Like, I can laugh at Sian and make up stories about him using the vacuum cleaner on himself becos he wants to know what a blow job is like cos he's never had one. Or just talk about Ogre playing with his blown-up doll.

Not talking about sex = No Life

Therefore, I now resolve to bring more "Life" into my team. They need one.

2006-10-11T00:17:00.000+08:00

There's a first for everything

Non-RA

Saturday.

9:03am

I was awakened by a ringing on my mobile. This mobile, was sponsored and bills totally paid for by Da Company. So any ringing on this mobile means bad news.

And I was right.

Apparently, I had forgotten to do something really important and the consequences were dire. In my haste to finish off other work in the office the night before(where I had stayed till 8 to complete), I had missed out on a very important task.

So there I was, panicking, with my stinking morning breath, calling my mentor and all other persons who would be in a good position to advise me on what I could do to salvage the situation. 800 metric tons of chemicals left on a vessel unable to discharge because of one person's error is no joke. The costs involved and the delay in subsequent shipments could very well get me fired.

For the first time, I screwed up really bad. At work.

But I am, after all, a person who's reaped good kharma, right?? So my mentor helped me tracked down some people, who were supposed not to be working on Saturdays, to sort things out for me. Of course, I felt bad that certain people had to rush back to their office and do extra things and rush the documents to the port when they didn't have to. And these are people I don't actually come into contact with and can't thank them for.

The issue was settled eventually, and all thanks to my lucky stars (and good kharma), there was no mentioning of this incident at work on Monday. I thought I was going to get a lot of tongue-lashing and such, but everyone was too busy to mention said matter again.

I am such a lucky person.

***************************

It was the Monday following the incident. Time for our month-end closing.

From morning all the way till 6pm, my phone never stopped ringing. I was getting calls by the seconds to chase me for documents, follow-ups and all loads of rubbish. Too many people were coming to me at the same time.

"Please arrange for LOI for this vessel. Vessel is arriving tomorrow. We must have the cargo discharged at vessel arrival."

Very Urgent.

"I just ran the report and the stock is still showing discrepancy. Please check and revert asap."

Urgent.

"Where is my order confirmation for tomorrow? I need to give to my transporter by today."

Very urgent.

"Can you please follow up with XXX for their product? They were supposed to lift it by end of Sept."

Very urgent.

"We must apply for CNB license by today. If not, there won't be enough time for them to process and we can't load the cargo."

Very very urgent.

How the hell am I supposed to do my work if everyone is calling me at the same bloody time telling me that what I need to do is URGENT??!!!

Everything was urgent. Or very urgent. Or very, very urgent. Fuck 'em all.

I didn't know how to prioritise. I was so lost on what to do next. In the midst of it all, I left my work station, went to the handicapped toilet, locked the door, and teared.

For the first time in my life, I cried about work.

I took a few minutes to re-collect myself and went back into the mad rush. And I worked, and worked and worked. My brain cells were burning at an accelerated rate. I packed up at 9.30pm, went home to bathe and eat, and continued working from home.

Da Company doesn't pay for my broadband service for nothing. I think I've sold my life, my energy and eventually my soul to them.

The pimples can't wait to pop. The wrinkles under my skin was dying to surface.

So, be prepared to hear more ranting. That is, if i get the chance to blog.

Arggghhhh.

2006-09-28T00:04:00.000+08:00

Retribution

www.yourdictionary.com
Something given or demanded in repayment, especially punishment.

dictionary.cambridge.org
Punishment by God

www.wordreference.com
A justly deserved penalty

ticklemytoes.blogspot.com
Bad Kharma

That's right. And when retribution comes, it usually demands repayment with sky high interest.

Like when you parked your car at Serangoon Gardens becos you want to eat at Chomp Chomp and you returned to find your car covered almost entirely with (bird) shit. Literally.

Or it'll creep up quietly from behind you and suddenly bites you in the ass.

You think you have gotten away with not displaying parking coupons for the longest time until you received the annoying red notices. Several in a row.

Ladies and gentlemen, I am sad to announce my retribution, is now here.

I am sure you all know that for the longest period of time, I've always had an easy time at work. From my job after poly graduation to my first job after uni to my last job, I had always been dedicating a sufficient amount of time to the internet (during working hours).

You see, I believe in giving back wat I have earned to society. So by surfing more, it justifies the massive amount of pop-up ads and spam you get everyday and the economy is progressing and people are earning more money and there will be less poor people and everyone is happy and blah blah blah ...

But now, the due amount of time not spent on work has come to claim its revenge with interest piled up over the years. I am stuffed with work.

If I am a condom, you will think I am a bloody hot-air balloon.

If I am a roasted turkey on a Thanksgiving table, you will think that I have been stuffed with ten other turkeys with stuffing inside.

My work is like breast milk. It never stops flowing (as long as someone keeps sucking).

I feel like a potato. My body is whipped and my brain is fried.

.............

That's it. I need to wake up at bloody 6.30am so that I can reach work at bloody 7.30am so that I can buy myself more time, without having to pick up fucking annoying phone calls and reading haunting emails, to do real work.

Goodnight. I hope you all get your retribution too =D

2006-09-24T23:53:00.000+08:00

Thought of the day

"Have you ever met someone, for the first time, and you know that you're gonna be, like best friends?"

Caught the movie, "Imagine you and me" over the weekend. It's about love at first sight, and lesbianism. This question was brought up by the lead actress (which obviously, they ended up being more than juz best friends but you get the idea), and it stirred up some thoughts in me.

I never believed in love at first sight. I think it's impossible and ridiculous to fall for someone whom you don't even know.

It is, however, possible to meet someone and know immediately that you guys are really gonna end up being good friends. I met someone online recently, and the first time we chatted on msn, I already knew that we would hit it off. From the first sentence, "Hello Adrenaline :) ", I already knew.

And you know what? That feeling's really amazing.

=)

2006-09-20T00:15:00.000+08:00

Buried

but not yet six feet under

I am buried under my pile of work.

My schedule for this week is entirely packed. Trainings from 9am to 5pm. Lunch break cum meeting in between. Shipments out this week are crazy. And during my trainings, there is not much help to cover my work. Actually, there is help. But my mentor who's covering me during this time has her own work to do, and she can't cover all the shipments I'm responsible for. So I have to get into office before training starts, ie. 7.30am, and work beyond normal office hours to finish my work. And it's still not finished! Argh .....

Therefore, I am brain dead now.

On other news, Sian's birthday is coming! I think his last post on the birthday card thingy was a hint that he wants people to mail him birthday cards. Unfortunately, I do not have his mailing address; I only know how to get there.

But I can't deliver the card by hand for I am sure to include a kick on his ass along with a punch whenever I see him. Can't help it; his face induces such behavior.

Being the very good friend that I am, though, I am calling for suggestions on what me and gang can get him for a birthday gift. Just so he doesn't get suicidal when he receives no present for the xth consecutive year. I wouldn't want him to die now; he hasn't given me my ang bao for my wedding.

So all, be creative and throw me suggestions. But please be realistic and don't ask me to get him a girlfriend. I wouldn't want to do such things to my kind as I am a firm believer of retribution.

But I don't mind chipping in to get him laid though =D It would make such juicy gossip during poly gatherings.

And since, I am obviously considering Chinese Chess to be one of the options, you can leave this out in your list =)

p.s. An update on Zhebin for his readers: He is doing fine, except with no hair. On the head. And has a bunk mate who likes to touch his butt. I am a bit worried for him. But he promises to update really, really soon, so keep a look out.

2006-09-14T23:38:00.000+08:00

The Land of Smiles ....
or rather, the lack of it

Some stuff about my trip to sunny Thailand. Phuket is hot and cold at the same time; it's either raining heavily or it's so freaking hot u can cook eggs on the bloody floor. I would say that generally I had a great time; there was a lot of getting-to-know each other better, and i would have to say it's pretty successful. I got to know almost the entire team better, even my boss's boss.

However, our experience was very much marred by the hostility of the locals. Given that tourism in Phuket has taken a huge dive, I would expect the locals to be warmer and much more eager to please, so as to attract more tourists. This was not the case. Let me give you some examples:

1) It was suddenly pouring when we got to Patong Beach, where the night life and pasar malam are. We ran into a store for some shelter and started browsing. This was the first store we entered at Patong. The owner, who thought that we were just taking cover, refused to let us proceed further into the shop. Even when my colleague was enquiring about the price of something that she fancied, the owner refused to serve her. He said something to the effect of, "Don't touch my stuff if you're not buying."

Naturally, we were pissed. So we left the shop into the rain and head for the next one.

2) Everyone knows that bargaining is an essential skill when shopping in Thailand. And if you've been there, you would know that you always have to bargain for a much lower price than the stated one. But in many instances, when we tried to bargain, the locals either said, "xxx baht for looking only" or "20 baht. Tomorrow." This was their way of showing that you're unwelcomed to bargain.

3) If a negotiation fell through, and you decide to leave (since there are hundreds of shops there selling the exact same thing), they will say, "Go! Go!" in Cantonese or Hokkien, to chase you out of their shop.

Now, I'm not an unreasonable person. I do know that 100 baht means nothing to Singaporeans but it could mean something to the Thais. Which was why, when I did encounter good service, I didn't bargain that much. After all, it wasn't juz the product that I was paying for. I would say that the shops that did earn my money are those that offered friendly service, and truly represent the spirit of being The Land of Smiles.

Nonetheless, the staff at Club Med were great. They truly take care of you from the time you board the coach all the way till you leave for the airport. Warm and friendly.

Obviously, I needn't mention how good the authentic Thai massage was. I almost snored when the masseuse was twisting my body.

Oh, I didn't have money or much time to buy anyone any gift. So don't come asking me for sourvenirs or presents. And that means you, Sian.

2006-09-11T12:37:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday to Me

Updated!

I received a lot more smses in the later part of the day, and it turned out that my best friends didn't forget abt me after all. Yeah. In fact, one of them took me to dinner with his other half.

Thanks for the pizzas, you guys.

I received a gift that was air-flown in from USA. Sweeet.

One of my buddies called me from Hong Kong while I was having dinner. Nice.

My ex of 7 years called me after a long time of no-contact to send his greetings. Lovely.

My new-found friend called me from Tekong to say, "Happy Birthday!". Heart Warming.

I was a little embarrassed though, that my dinner wif said friend and other half was interrupted by the different phone calls. In fact, said friend asked me if I was sure I hadn't taken up the part-time job of being a bookie.

To all of you who remembered me on this day, thank you. Being remembered means a lot to me.

But I would still want to pounce on that friend who sent that mean sms. Hey, only I can be mean to you. You cannot be mean to me. It's not a two-way street. So you'd better watch out.

***************************

It's my birthday today.

Since last night, i have been receiving birthday smses from my friends, including one currently residing in the USA and one currently in Tekong.

But somehow I feel exceptionally lonely this year. Maybe becos I'm used to a series of birthday celebrations every year that this year, it appears to be really quiet without dinners of any sort.

A friend asked me about my plans tonight and I replied that Mr BF is overseas, and somehow there has been no plans for any outing or gathering. Then he replied, "I hope you will enjoy a cold instant mee dinner in front of the TV later. I promise to think of u while having sushi with my girl :) "

I have assholes for friends.

And I think my two best friends have also forgotten about my birthday :_(

Sigh. So I'm free tonight. Anyone of you who wants to take me out can sms me =)

2006-09-08T02:02:00.000+08:00

What's up

It is now 2am and I'm still up.

Nope, it's not insomnia this time. I was busy packing.

At 1.20pm tomorrow, I'll be on a flight heading towards Club Med in Thailand for my company retreat. Woohoo!

Due to the monsoon season, water sports are out. So no parading in my two-piece. But i'll be having so much Thai massages, spa treatments along with other activities that Club Med has planned for us that I won't miss water sports that much. Oh, by the way, this short holiday, is fully paid by Da Company :D

I have been very poor these couple of years, and haven't not been able to sponsor myself to such a treat for a long time. Therefore this trip really came at the right time.

So c'mon, be jealous. You know you are.

Some of you probably don't even get the chance to take your leave (e.g. Sibeh Sian). While the rest of you are too poor to give yourself a proper holiday (e.g. Sibeh Sian). Tsk Tsk. I pity you.

On other things, I am kinda bummed that my favourite blogger, Zhebin, has been enlisted into Pulau Tekong. I'm so gonna miss all the crap on his blog.

By the way, the reason why I have been MIA for so long, is because I was busy making myself happy =)

I'll blog about my wonderful trip when I get back. Till then, enjoy your weekend, folks.

2006-09-01T01:08:00.000+08:00

A story to share

I am very sorry for the lack of updates. Been real busy, but erm, in a good way. I am, for the time being, a happier person =)

Anyway, I was talking to a buddy a couple of days ago and I brought up all the different kinds of fun during the poly days. Suddenly, I recalled an incident that I've since blocked out of my mind, due to its repulsive nature. Nonetheless, I decided to share that incident here.

It was during year one and for some stupid reason, the school decided to organise some event at the sports complex. I've completely forgotten what the event was. All I remember was at the end of it, everyone was invited to the field for some dancing. Yes, it was real cheesy. My buddies and i were getting ready to go when the dancing began, until we saw a particular guy dancing along with his other super annoying groupmates on the field. They were dancing to the rhythm of "Macarena".

Now, if you all remember, this song had a particular dance step choreographed to fit the beat of tune. You were supposed to fold your arms or something and the final move, was to twist your butt while jumping to face another direction.

Then, it was rather disturbing for us, cos that particular guy always portrayed himself to be a real nerd who sucked up to lecturers. Not only was he not attractive, he was repulsive. At least to me then. When I saw him dancing, I didn't know whether to laugh or to cry. At the point where he made that twist and turned, I let out a laugh, with a tear in my eye.

The guy, was none other, than Mr Sian.

===================

P.S. For the record, Sian wasn't an apple polisher. Really. His groupmates were, though.

Sian, I'm so glad I managed to find some dirt. More will come =) But I want to apologise for thinking that you sucked up to lecturers. Hee ....

2006-08-18T00:37:00.000+08:00

Please don't do that

At the end of my tuition session today, my students, the twin girls got a massive yelling from their grandaunt. Apparently, they screwed up the timing for tuition and while I thought it was a pretty minor issue, they had a terrible scolding.

Anyway, when I was leaving the place, i gave a lift to the said grandaunt to a nearby hospital. During the journey, she was saying how she had to yell at them so that they would listen and be more obedient. She also said that she took them in, cos she felt sorry becos of their family background and it was tragic if the girls continue to stay with their dad. That was when I found out more about their story.

These two girls' parents don't seem to care very much about them. In fact, they don't see their parents often. Their father has re-married and during the times when they were staying with their stepmom and stepbrother, they were constantly being abused. Said aunt mentioned that the younger twin once got beaten up so bad she had to get a minor eye operation. And the elder one was hit on the head or something. To top it up, it was said that the stepmom would burn them.

I'm not entirely sure what she used to burn them. But the word, burn, itself is a terrible act to use on children, irregardless of the tools used. They had it so bad once, that they ran away from home. At the age of 7.

When I heard that, I don't know why, but it pained me.

We hear stories of child abuse all the time. And you feel sorry for the kids that you read about in the papers. But when it really happens to someone you know, and perhaps somebody you've grown quite fond of, it really cuts.

Now, they're staying with their grandaunt and while I would assume it's a smaller place, they're much happier. They don't ever want to move back with their father. I have heard that should they fail their coming tests again, they'll gonna have to move back.

I tried not to be too hard on them today. I really want them to do better. I don't want them to ever move back and be abused again.

2006-08-14T23:44:00.000+08:00

Dry

The tap in my home's toilet is spoilt rotten. It refused to work properly, so we had to have it removed. However, this means that we have to turn off the main water switch so that water would not keep splashing out from the pipe.

When I got home from work today, I saw a lot of dirty dishes in the sink, my dog eating rubbish food, and I was unable to bathe after a tiring workout. All because of one tap. My mom had filled two buckets of water for us to use in the meantime. It was tough, having to fetch water from the toilet to do the dishes, and when I finally decided to turn on the main water switch, I had to bathe in cold water so that the water that was running freely would not go wasted.

All in all, there was a lot of inconvenience.

Then, it dawned on me how much I had taken things for granted. We live in a civilized world, where clean water would flow with the turn of a knob. We do not understand what it means to have to fetch water from the well, let alone dig the well.

When I was little and spent my holidays with my maternal grandma in Malaysia, my father would bring us over to his home, where his parents used to live. My uncle lives there now with his family. Everytime we went over, my father would always make me bathe there, even though I had just had my bath. When I refused, he would get very annoyed but would still insisted that I shower. His reason being, the water that flowed from the tap came from the well, and even during extremely hot days, the water would always be very cooling.

I was a kid, and didn't understand what the fuss was about. The water was chilling to my skin, and despite spending the first 14 years of my life bathing without warm water, I still didn't like that feeling.

When I grew up, I came to know that the source of the water, The Well, was dug by my dad and his elder brother. They started digging during their teenage years and it took them quite a while to finally reach the source of clean water.

I guess my father wanted me to enjoy the fruits of his labour, thus his insistence at my bathing whenever I went over.

It's been years since i last visited the old house with the well. I think, if I ever do visit again, I would most definitely bathe there, and at the same time, remember the hard work that was once put in, for this source of clean water.

2006-08-11T00:11:00.000+08:00

A disturbing fairy tale

Once upon a time, I had this friend.

He was irritating, told a lot of lame jokes and had never been kissed. For obvious reasons of course.

He worried day in and out about not losing his virginity until the day he dies. Well, he should be.

Then one day, he met his dream girl while doing his internship.

She certainly fulfilled his criteria in every way:

1) Shops at This Fashion

I'm not exactly sure if this girl shopped at This Fashion, but her clothes certainly did suggest that.

2) Must be stingy

Considering the fact that she had never bought me or any one of us any presents, I take it that she's stingy.

3) Must not smoke, drink, gamble or go to gigolos.

Oh, her religion forbids her to engage in the above acts.

4) Love Fast Food

I have never seen her in a fast food joint, but her overwhelming body strongly suggested that she is a huge fan of fast food joints. Really. She was like a walking burger. Except not enticing, nor delicious.

5) Enjoy the little things in life

She was appreciative of butts. As in asses. So much, that after she fell out of love with Ricky Martin, she became in luv with said friend's butt. To say that she was obssessed with his butt would be an understatement.

And becos this friend of mine loves epilating, it thrilled him very much that the enormous amount of hair on her head (and probably other parts of her body) was able to cater to this fettish. On top of that, he was very much drawn by her "scent".

As days passed, they couldn't resist flirting with each other and throwing one another horny looks. Given my above description of this "dream girl", it is no wonder that she was a virgin too. In fact, the two of them started flirting outrageously with each other (without much physical contact though, cos her religion forbids it). So much that the rest of us started having nightmares.

But to said friend, she was a god-send.

They would have lived happily ever after, if it weren't for dream girl's inability to control her hormones.

You see, dream girl, was especially horny one day and she became suddenly attracted to The Doctor, another intern,'s butt.

We were discussing a particular project halfway, and out of nowhere, dream girl pushed The Doctor onto the floor, and started pulling his trousers down. The Doctor held firmly to his pants, and dream girl was still tugging forcefully on his zipper.

All of us were too shocked to react, especially said friend. His shock turned into anger as dream girl had never reacted with such aggressively charged hormones towards him before. I suspect he was also jealous with The Doctor, for being able to entice dream girl with his tight pants that accentuated his butt and his, erm, equipment that was bulging right through his pants.

Said friend, left his work place, that night, with a dejected heart.

However, he decided to stick to his criteria for a dream girl (becos he really loves fast food and fat women), minus the obssession with men's behinds.

Which is why, up till today, he is still a virgin, and has never been kissed.

The end.

2006-08-07T13:35:00.000+08:00

BLOG

Very often, I wonder where artistes and songwriters get their inspiration. It could the laughter of a child, the rustling of leaves, and the sound of rain. When it comes to writing, I get a lot of inspiration from daily life. People and things I see during the course of the most usual routine.

However, there are times when you’re inspired to write becos some annoying person has pissed you off greatly. Zhebin should know this well; he gets pissed easily :P

I had wanted to blog about wat a fantastic job I have and the wonderful benefits that my company provides. But of course, im afraid that some of you reading this might end up feeling resentful that while you’re still stuck in your bloody dead-end job with that lousy pay, other people are having such a good time at work. So, in order to prevent you from trying to hurl rotten eggs or spit at me (which in the process you will dirty your own monitor and feel even more pissed,) I have decided to blog about Sibeh Sian and his romantic affair with a particular gal during his attachment days. I think you guys will like this one.

SBS: I have warned you before, haven’t I? Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Don’t mess with me.

*********

Some years ago, we were all selected to carry out our internship at our beautiful airport. A total of 12 of us were engaged and we were all despatched to different departments, but under the same unit. I was placed in the office with 4 other guys (Sibeh Sian was one of them) and 1 other gal.

Initially, things were fine. We had a great time but as time passed by, this other gal, whom we nicknamed BQT, started to have some problems with us. I'm not sure if it was because she knew about our constant gossips that centred around her hair, her face and of course, her attitude.

Now, a little background of BQT:

She is not Chinese, suffered from bad-hair-day everyday, and from far, she looked like a cross between Santa Claus (without the jolliness) and a potted plant.

As for how the nick, BQT came about, it was short for .... *drums roll* ....

包清天

Bao Qing Tian

As the name suggests, this woman came to work everyday with a "black face". You can't really blame us for calling her that. It was like PMS everyday for her. We didn't understand why, although we did avoid hanging out with her, and sometimes we would snigger whenever she walked past. Maybe that was why.

Anyway, BQT had this fettish for Ricky Martin. She kept talking about what a cute and sexy butt Ricky Martin had. However, she soon realised that Ricky Martin would probably not fall in love with her and she started turning her attention to the guys around her.

Firstly, she started with The Doctor. And I am reluctant to mention a most traumatising experience for him. After all, he is now trying to get on with his life.

After the failed attempt with The Doctor, she turned her attention to Sibeh Sian. For those of you who don't know him, Sibeh Sian walks gay and weird. Really. He walked like he had a twisted butt and not in a good way. But this weird walk appealed to BQT greatly, and she started taking an interest in him. She would comment on what an "oh-so-sexy" butt Sibeh Sian had everytime he walked past her. Obviously, I disagree. But hey, beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder.

***************

Sorry guys, it's 2am. I would love to continue, but im too tired. I promise to come out with more juicy stories about Sibeh Sian and BQT, be it fake or real.

2006-08-01T00:46:00.000+08:00

A new beginning

Dear all

As of 8 hours from now, I would be starting in a new job. Even though I am tired as hell, I still choose to blog cos I want insomnia out of my life tonight. So I'm gonna wait till I'm only one step from collapsing on the floor before I turn in.

The earlier part of today was a lot of anticipation. I thought about this job so much that I dreamt that I was late on the first day of work. In fact, in my dream, I woke up only at 10.30am. In the end, I had to cook up some stupid excuse about not showing up for work. Thank goodness it was only a dream.

The later part of today was a lot of dreading to go back to the working society. Don't get me wrong; i love work. But these few weeks have kept me so damn busy that I felt that instead of rest, I had been working thrice as hard. If not for the money, I would really ask to start work one week later.

The last part of today was very pleasant. Something unexpected happened, and I did something that I didn't expect myself to do. Obviously the other party was surprised too. Hopefully in a good way. Heh Heh.

Wish me luck, guys! =)

2006-07-29T02:29:00.000+08:00

It's a wonderful Life

When I was young, my parents were always fighting. Not only did it involved the yelling of vulgarities, there was often throwing of cups and such, that woke my bro and I in the middle of the night. They had an unhappy marriage.

In primary school, I was a very quiet student. I didn’t have that many friends, and those whom I claimed as friends, sometimes made use of me and didn’t treat me very well.

When I went to secondary school, I decided to speak up a little more but I still had a lot of problems with friends. I was in the school band, and being a very weak player, I was often looked down by certain seniors. Some of them were sarcastic, some of them didn’t bother teaching me totally. But there were a few that were nice and encouraging.

I didn’t do that well for my ‘O’ Levels. At least, my grades weren’t good enough to get me into the course that I wanted in TP. So I started working and re-took my ‘O’s as a private candidate. In terms of time, I wasted one year.

I started seeing a guy 9 years older than me when I was 16, and stuck with him for 7 years. He was controlling and possessive and restricted my movements almost totally.

When I was in poly, I didn’t do my best all the time. I skipped many lectures and tutorials as allowed but I put in my best for the exams.

I didn’t allow myself to slack when I got into uni. Apart from the exorbitant school fees, I finally understood the value of studying.

My father passed away last year. It was a very painful experience.

After graduation, I was switching jobs every year. Somehow the companies that I wanted to work for never hired me.

When I look back into my life, I wonder if there were regrets. I wonder if things would have been different and would I have want it that way.

A friend that knows me quite well told me that I had a harsh childhood. But it was my childhood that made me the person I am today. It was my parents’ constant fighting that made me a stronger person. I had to be strong for my mom and my bro. I learnt that this is not the kind of marriage that I want.

Because I was a teenager suffering from great inferiority complex, I could never do as well as I wanted. But growing out of it made me see the value in myself. No longer do I want to be looked down upon.

I ‘wasted’one year in re-taking my ‘O’s. Actually, it wasn’t a waste. Despite a junior position in a foreign bank, I learnt a great deal and made very good friends. Besides, I did do better the second time, and I realized that all along, my problem was not being able to concentrate fully while studying. If I hadn't spent one more year taking the cambridge exams, I wouldn’t have gotten into the course of my choice and met some wonderful people that I still claim as friends up till today.

No regrets for not attending lectures and tutorials religiously. Fun took place outside school anyway, and I had great company. When I think back, I don’t think fulfilling a 100% attendance would have made me learnt more. Great friendships were bonded during the times outside school, at the local kopitiam, at the arcade or just at another classmate’s house.

Despite his controlling, my first love taught me a lot of things. I wouldn't be the person that I am today without him. I thank him for that.

During my uni days, I was wondering if I should have dropped out halfway cos I was too homesick and my relationship with my then BF was on the rocks. Up till now, I do not regret my decision. I stuck with it all the way, and the knowledge I have gained will now stick to me for life. Even if I had dropped my studies, my relationship with then-BF wouldn’t have stayed unchanged.

The switching of jobs exposed me to certain things that I didn’t know. Weird as it sounds, but one year in each job was really enough. I learnt a great deal and made wonderful friends with each job. And now, I am finally going to work for a firm of my choice.

My only regret is not spending more time with my father. I kept reminding myself that I should, but somehow, I never got the chance to. May he rest in peace.

But my father’s death made me love my mother more. I don’t want to have any regrets when it is her time. I have learnt my lesson.

I guess, sometimes, in life, we would look back now and then, and wonder if things will be different if you have made certain decisions better. If you like things the way they are now, probably it was best that you hadn’t made other decisions then. If you’re unhappy, then learnt from the past mistakes whatsoever, and make yourself happier from now on.

My life philosophy is to try and live simply and be happy. Reason for my constant smiling. Simple as it sounds, but it’s not easy.

Life is so short, just always try to be happy. It’s the only thing you can do for yourself.

2006-07-26T00:54:00.000+08:00

Juz keep cleaning ... juz keep cleaning ...

I am too exhausted to post anything.

Cleaning an entire house by yourself is no joke. I took more than 10 hours just to clean the windows. And there are thousand and one other things to do.

Please lend me your hands. I need them.

2006-07-20T00:39:00.000+08:00

Finally!!

1) I called up Da Company about my job placement. Apparently, I had cleared the medical side and there was a mis-communication on who was supposed to contact me. So in the end, I waited for a week and nobody contacted me. What the hell. But I've been confirmed to start work in August, and that's wonderful news. I juz dread having to wake up like everyone else now.

2) My new home is done with the renovation. Apart from very minor details that still require some follow-up with my contractor, I would say it's all ready. Of course, I need to clean up the entire place all by myself, as Mr BF needs to work, and I happen to be jobless and I (supposedly) have all the time in the world at the moment.

I used to think mopping the floor is easy. I do it every week at home. It's easy when you have a mop. But when you have to mop an entire area using juz a mere rag along with your pair of hands, it can almost lead to muscle cramps. I was soaking wet from just doing the living and dining area. I could even hear my heart beating. I swear it's equivalent to running 4 km.

But other than that, I'm very glad that at the very least, I have the time to take care of the cleaning. The furniture's coming this Friday and I can't wait!!

Some of you will be receiving my invitation for house-warming soon.

You are expected to bring gifts. If you're unsure wat to buy, please check with me. I have no shame when it comes to household appliances that I can't afford right now.

Or, you can buy me vouchers.

If you really can't think of anything to get me, please give me cash.

Note to annoying creep: If you buy me chinese chess, I swear I will throw them in your face.

3) My photo shoot is over!!

But I'm crossing my fingers on how the photos will turn out. For a start, I look really, really different with make up on. I almost didn't recognise myself in the mirror. No kidding. I seriously have no idea if this is a good thing.

Then, during my outdoor shoot at Desaru, I actually took a pic of myself with my lousy phone cam for the sake of my dear mom, who is annoyed that she didn't get to pick my photoshoot gowns with me. Actually, she wanted to pick for me.

No, I'm not Mommy's little girl. My mom juz wanna get involved with most details of my wedding cos she feels like she is the star too. Apparently, she had requested a gown for herself from the bridal shop for my wedding night. Heh. She's juz vain like that and I love her to bits.

Anyway, I was saying I took a pic of myself, which I thought turned out quite charmingly; I was wearing my favourite gown and the make up was done really well. Until I showed the pics to my mom, and she said, "Wah!! You look like Malay girl leh. And so fat some more. "

Sometimes my mom can be very cruel :S